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| “ | Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick!
— Ash Williams
|
” |
Ashley Joanna "Ash" Williams is an average man and employee of S-Mart, but this all changed when he and some friends all stay at a log cabin in the woods. There they find the "Naturon Demonto" along with a tape recorder. The tape is a recording of the owner of the cabin, who was translating a passage of the book. Ash and friends awake the evil spirits who can now possess the living. Ash's friends and sister are consequently possessed and killed one by one. It isn't until he's the last survivor that he finally destroys the Necronomicon by throwing it into the fireplace.
Carried a good distance by the demon, Ash is slammed hard against a tree and falls in a puddle of water. From here he becomes a deadite but shortly afterwards is released from the spirit by the coming of dawn, only to pass out. Ash regains consciousness moments before sunset. Deciding to get out of there as fast as he can, he climbs into his car and drives to where the bridge was, only to find it completely destroyed by the evil force. As the sun quickly sets, said force starts climbing up the cliff, and Ash hops into his car, driving away as fast as he can and as a result, crashing right into a treestump that sends him flying through the windshield.
With the evil close behind him, he runs into the cabin and through it trying to hide, and ducks into the trapdoor, waiting until the evil force leaves. After it does, Ash comes out, only to find himself stuck at the cabin with the spirits of the Evil Dead for yet another night. Later, the cabin owner's daughter, Annie and three more people arrive. It is near the end of this film that Ash gets his famous chainsaw in place of his right hand. The film ends with Ash being sucked into a vortex and traveling back in time to 1300 AD, where the locals claim, according to their prophecies, that he is "The Hero from the Sky" who will save them from the Deadites.
Battle vs. Frank West (by Goddess of Despair)[]
Frank grips his baseball bat tightly as he moves through the warehouse. A zombie approaches him holding a hunk of meat but Frank makes short work of the creature with a slam to the head. “What’s that?” a guard says hearing the sound. Frank doesn’t have time to pull out his spiked bat and instead slowly sets it down. He ducks as the guard rounded the corner with a Remington. Frank felt on the floor and lifted up a machete. He quickly rushed at the man and hacked off his head with the weapon. The Remington falls to the ground and fires a round off, hitting a zombie behind Frank and a crate nearby Ash. Ash readied his boomstick as he turned the corner to see Frank holding the Remington. Ash fires a round at Frank, but he misses and Frank shoots a blast from his Remington.
The shot grazed Ash’s hand causing him to drop the boomstick. “Ah shit.” said Ash as he took cover as Frank cocked his shotgun. Ash looked around and spotted a lone stick of dynamite and he smiled to himself. “This should do it.” He said as he grabbed the explosive and threw it around the corner. Frank dropped the shotgun and ran from the crate he was behind and dived away from the explosion as Ash lifted a nearby Winchester rifle.
He fired a round at Frank but missed and hit a guard behind him in the leg. Frank ran up to the guard and grabbed his uzi “Sorry pal.” He said before kicking the man back. He turned and sprayed the weapon at Ash who ducked under the barrage of ammunition behind a crate. Ash popped up and fired a round into Frank's arm, causing him to drop the uzi. Ash aimed his Winchester for the killing shot and said “This is gonna hurt.” When suddenly a zombie clawed his back. Ash yelled in pain and he hit the zombie with the butt of the rifle and turned, unloading several rounds into the creature as Frank killed the injured guard with a nearby cement saw.
Ash felt for his pocket to load another round into his winchester. He turned to see Frank with a cement saw. Frank tried to slash Ash with the saw, but Ash blocked the attack with his Winchester but the saw began to cut through the rifle. Ash kicked Frank back, making him drop his weapon. Ash dropped the rifle and drew his broadsword he “borrowed” from one of the knights. Frank felt on the ground for a weapon as Ash closed in. “Come on, come on, something. Anything!” he thought to himself. Frank grabbed a can of spray paint and aimed it at Ash’s eyes. He sprayed it, causing Ash to raise his arm to prevent it from blinding him. Frank dropped the can and ran over to a sledgehammer as Ash pursued with his broadsword.
Ash tried to thrust with it but Frank knocked it out of his hand with a sledgehammer. Ash quickly hit Frank in the face with his metal gauntlet. Frank responded by kneeing the man in his groin. “AH!” yelled Ash in pain as Frank slammed the sledgehammer down onto his gauntlet, breaking it off. “Oh come on I just made that.” Complained Ash. Ash hit Frank in the face with his other hand and grabbed a chainsaw off of the ground. He mounted it onto his arm as Frank recovered and picked up a sickle.
Ash slashed vertically, Frank parried with the sickle but the force behind the attack managed to loosen his grip and he dropped it. Ash thrusted with his chainsaw, but Frank side stepped and kicked him back. Frank looked around and tore out his spiked baseball bat from a zombie as Ash recovered.
Frank charged at him and swung his bat as Ash blocked with his chainsaw. The spiked bat got stuck in the weapon and the blade refused to rotate. Ash kicks Frank back and dismounts his chainsaw. He rushes towards Frank and hits him in the jaw; he then swept Frank off of his feet. Breathing heavily, Ash said “Look reporter boy, I have a story that may be interesting for you.” He began. “I’m a photographer,” interrupted Frank “And what do you mean?”
“Well there is this book called the Necronomicon…” Ash began.
Expert's Opinion[]
Both combatants are skilled, but Ash was barely able to take the victory here. Ash has the better combat experience and his long range winchester accuracy combined with the pure stopping power of his boomstick was enough to overpower Frank. The battle is close, but in the end the weapons Ash has are able to hit harder. Ash Williams is the deadliest warrior.
To see original battle, votes, and weapons, click here.
Battle vs. Dr. Sam Loomis (by LoomisTeridax666)[]
No battle written.
Winner: Ash Williams
Expert's Opinion[]
TBW
To see original battle, votes, and weapons, click here.
Battle vs. The Kurgan (by GSFB)[]
"Not...Again!" Ash said, his face conveying sharp shock.
He had been told what words to say by some hippie mystic who had bad breath, no bath for weeks, and knowledge of where the Necronomicon resided. He had told him to say those three words before opening it. He told him to shut it when he kept tyring to get Ash to constantly repeat it over and over again, but now he nearly kicked himself for not doing so.
He looked back and forth repeatedly, then tried something he thought he would dare not do again.
"Clatu-Verata-Nickt-"
Ash coughed loudly, several times. When he got finished, he looked around.
"There! I said it! That's it!"
Even as he took hold of the evil tome, the words of the Hippie caused him dread.
"Hey man, you get that Necronomicon without saying these here words, and an immortal warrior will arise and try to take your head! Bad vibes, man!"
Ash grabbed the book.
A lightning bolt struck the ruins behind him. Turning, he heard a terrible rumble in the earth. The sky grew even darker, and it was already midnight.
"Oh come on give me a break for once!" Ash said, cussing.
Just then, the door on the top floor of the ruin busted open, and a giant warrior in evil looking knight's armor appeared. He was holding ahuge broadsword and bore a menacing smile.
"Nice to see you Highlander...or should I say...Lowlander!" The Kurgan said.
"...Huh?" Ash said.
With a mighty bellow the Kurgan jumped off the partial floor of the ruin and raised his sword. Ash raised his boomstick. The shot knocked the Kurgan back, making him fall two stories down onto his back.
"Sorry, Mr. Fancy-Pants: No jump shots this game." Ash said, raising an eyebrow and making a slight smile. He turned on his chainsaw hand. Reving it up, he approached the fallen warrior.
The Kurgan sat up.
"It will take a lot more than that, lowlander!"
"That's what I was counting on. Come get some!"
The Kurgan stood up, raising his sword. Ash raised his chainsaw. In two seconds the two were striking at each other, perrying and thrusting with their weapons. Ash got his wood axe and used it in concert with his chainsaw hand, but in a few moments the Chainsaw hand was severed from his arm, and the axe handle was cut in half.
"Ooooo, nobody messes with the saw!" Ash said, sneering. He ducked a sword swipe and picked up the axe head, which had broken off from the severed handle. Aiming, he threw it at the Kurgan's face, taking out an eye. Ash aimed his boomstick, but nothing happened. Looking at the shotgun and then back at the wounded warrior, his eyes grew wide wth disbelief. Looking left and right, heturned around, running to safer ground. The Kurgan, pulling out the axe head, ran after him, regrowing his eye.
"No more bullets in your gun, Lowlander: how pitiful!" the Kurgan said.
He struck with his sword, causing quickening blasts which broke apart stones from the ruin's walls. Ash dodged each blow, but the Kurgan was drawing closer with each swipe. Just as he was drawing close enough for a beheading blow, Ash turned and aimed his Boomstick.
"Psyche!" Ash said
The Kurgan was lifed off the ground. After he fell, Ash pulled out his winchester. Just as he was about to fire the Kurgan regenerated, kicking the rifle away. Standing, he grabbed Ash by the throat and lifted him up.
"There can be only one!" Kurgan said.
"What's that on your face?"
"What?"
Grabbing onto Kurgan's arm and lifting his lower body, Ash kicked Kurgan in the face with both boots. The Kurgan fell over, dazed. Ash dissappeared.
"Fight me, mere lowlander! Fight me now, with Honor!" The Kurgan said, getting up.
For almost a minute, the Kurgan hunted Ash, unable to locate him. He could feel his presence, but he could not get his specific location. Just when he turned back to the ruin, lightning struck nearby, its flash revealing Ash standing on a hill above him, Winchester in hand.
"Wanna play dodge-ball?" Ash said.
The Kurgan charged. Ash fired 16 shots into him, the last hitting him in the throat. the Mighty brute collapsed. Ash ran into the bushes and got his chainsaw. Coming back, the Kurgan spoke.
"I will ressurect. I always do. I will severe you like wheat before a scythe!"
"Has anybody told you," Ash said, revying up his saw and raising an eyebrow,
"That you are in desperate need of more iron in your diet?"
The Kurgan's eyes widened. Before he could rise, Ash fell on him, ramming his caw through his teeth. With two movements the head was severed from the body.
Unknown to Ash, an eerie spirit from the Necronomicon was traveling fast through the dark forest. seeing Ash, it approached, twice as fast as a Cheetah. Ash saw but it was too late to run. The being sped up, almost upon Ash, who was beginning to scream.
Just then, a lightning bolt struck in between them. Then another. Lightning bolts struck from the heavens all around them. The Kurgan's body emitted an orange glow where the head once was. Ash and the eerie presence turned to each other, both saying at the same time.
"What In the name of Sam Raimi was that?"
Then a series of lightning bolts struck the forest. Trees fell down in droves. Both the eerie presence and Ash ran for cover while the quickening engulfed the land, causing massive firestorms. Huge beasts made of electricity appeared, and commenced to biting the oaks and clawing the fields. Powerful winds raked the countryside. Lightning bolts fell by the hundreds all around. Before it was over, the eerie presence in the forest was struck by one of the lightning bolts, demolishing it in a red flash.
After the quickening, Ash emerged from a gravestone, his chainsaw raised.
"Hail to the King, Kurgan."
...
It had been an hour since Ash buried the body, placing a wooden cross on the grave. Lightning flashed behind him as he did so, which caused him jump. The memory of the quickening was still on his mind. Before he left the realm, he retrieved the Necronomincon. However, he still couldn't remember the exact words...
While the body rotted deep in the red earth, a strange, black, slimy tentacle appeared, eminating from a indescribable pitch darkness from deep within the wood. As it raised its tentacle, a massive ball of Quickening appeared, held by the unnamable horror. laughing, it lowered its tentacle, sending the Quickening into the earth, towards the body of the fallen Kurgan.
As the quickening hit the corpse, the eyes of the Kurgan's severed head opened wide, revealing a solid yellowish white color.
Winner: ASH WILLIAMS
Expert's Opinions[]
Although Kurgan was strong and vicious, Ashley J. Williams took the edge in range thanks to his long improvised Chainsaw, Boomstick, and Winchester.
To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.
Battle vs. John Nada (by Weew1213))[]
John Nada is slumped down, asleep, on the edge of the elevator and it stops…
He wakes up from the stopping of the elevator and slowly and tiredly gets up. He then, grabs all of his guns and pack and heads out the two doors and covers his eyes from the bright light emerging from the two doors and walks out. Once the light wears off, it reveals that he’s in New York. He looks around and smiles; he then, looks behind him not to see elevator doors but, an empty stree- oh, a car just whizzed by. He turns back around and notices a bar.
“I guess, I’ll need a drink.”
As he enters the bar, another man, looks like he went through a hallway full of blades and walked through it and then, ran through it. He watches as he sits down. John Nada orders a drink and so does the other man.
“I’ll take a beer.” the man says, who calls himself Ash Williams.
“I’ll take a whiskey.” Nada collaborates.
They get their drinks and Nada taps Ash on the shoulder which, he gestures at the TV.
“Hey, he looks like me and, he fights like me. What’s his name?” He asks the bartender.
“He calls himself ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper.” the Bartender replies as he’s cleaning some mugs.
“Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it, pal.”
“Well, to us then.” Ash says as raises his beer and Nada does the same.
They take a drink and notice that both that the Aliens and some Deadites enter through each door on both ends of the bar.
“Hey pal, the medieval convention that way.” The alien cop says pointing behind him.
One Deadite sniffs him; “You’re not human… you’re something else. You’re not from here.” He pulls out his sword.
“Sir, put the weapon down or we'll shoot you.”
Meanwhile…
“Don’t look at the bonies, they’re looking for me.” Ash whispers.
“The cops are looking for me, they’re not really cops, they’re aliens.”
“Like from Outer Space?”
“Yeah, we’ll take ‘em out on three.”
“I.”
“2.”
“3!” they both say as they jump up out of their seats.
Ash grabs his axe and smashes it into one of the Deadites skulls.
Nada takes out his S&W Model 28 and unloads on the officers. One of the officers that were still alive, calls for backup with his last dying breath.
Ash pulls out the axe and launches it another Deadite sticking it against the wall. Ash barely dodges the sword slash by one of the Deadites and counters with punch to face with the mechanical hand. He hit ‘im so hard that he was knocked off his feet, he then smashes the Deadites head in, parts of the brain and skull fly everywhere, leaving his gauntlet covered in blood.
“There’s going to be more coming, grab everything you have and I’m going to do the same.” Nada commands.
“Groovy.” Ash quips.
They both and get their weapons and bring them back to where they were talking to one another, which was behind a table. Ash then, picks up his broadsword and gets ready for the next wave of whoever opposes them. The new wave of Deadites enter the same way they came, from the back door.
Ash looks at them and charges them with his sword, he clashes swords with one of the Deadites. Another Deadite tries to slash at him with his sword but it’s countered with Ash’s chainsaw holding back the blade, which he then turns on his chainsaw and throws it out of the way and starts to cut up the Deadite. There is blood spraying all over him and everywhere around him. He just tries to hold his own as best he can. He then, cuts off the head of a Deadite with his sword. Two Deadites attack at the same time and he tries to block both blades from the two Deadites. With one hard sword strike from a Deadite and Ash’s sword was knocked out of his hand. He then tries to block it again with his chainsaw but again, with another hard sword strike, the chainsaw is knocked out of blocking position and while trying to dodge it, he falls down. A Deadite walks up to and raise his sword but, before he can strike, he is shot by Nada. Ash looks over to see him wielding an M16. He then, sprays his weapon, killing multiple Deadites, Ash then, picks up his spear and drives it into multiple Deadites.
A bullet whizzes by Nada's ear and turns around to fire back at the people who were firing at him.
"Looks like the cops are back!" Nada yells to Ash.
Ash picks up his Winchester.
"Why don't they come get some, then?" Ash grins.
They both unload on the officers taking as many shots as they can at them, Ash with his winchester and Nada with his M16. Nada uses his last few bullets before running out of ammo for the M16. He hides behind cover again.
"You didn't bring more ammo for it?!" Ash cries out amist all of the gun fire.
"Oh, and you brought an extra sword? No, didn't think so. But, I also brought this!" He takes out his HK94 Conversion and opens fire on them. He just sprays and prays, dropping multiple officers. Ash aiming with his winchester, hit any officer that he can see on his side, in the head. They both keep firing until all of the officers are down.
“How many more do you think are coming?” Ash asks.
“A whole sh*tload.” Nada chuckles.
“More for me. How much do you got left?”
“Half of the mag is gone. I have a crapload of pistols.” Nada shows his pistols in his pack.
“Groovy.”
More Deadites enter from the back and try to charge them but, fail to do so due to Nada using his HK94 until it runs out of ammo and Ash aiming his Winchester accurately and runs out of ammo as well. When Nada did run out of ammo for his HK, he threw his gun at one of the Deadites, then, he quickly and I mean, quickly, changed his gun to a Desert Eagle and besets a bullet barrage, killing as many he can before again running out of ammo, which, was just enough to get kill the wave of Deadites.
Again, two cops barge in through the front doors and Nada kills one and purposely, shoots the pistol out of his hand, causing him to fall to ground, holding his hand. Ash runs over to him and raises his chainsaw but, for some reason he doesn’t cut him up, he just holds back. He keeps trying to strike but, something was holding him back. Just as he tries to strike him, the cop is shot in the head by Nada with his Colt Python.
Right after that, two Deadites barge in and Nada immediately blasts one and fails to kill the other by knocking him off his feet, just before he finishes him off, he hears the medieval warrior chanting something. He also noticed little hand motions and he just pulled the trigger and fired at his head. He then, tries to pull the trigger again it makes a clicking sound. It’s empty, he drops the gun and turns around.
“Stop those things from coming!”
“How?”
“You got any dynamite?”
“Yeah.”
“They must be coming from somewhere; he pauses “check the back door.”
They both go and check the back door and in the middle of the street, they see a portal. Ash goes back inside and grabs the dynamite. He lights it and tosses it in there. They wait until the portal closes. They then, go back inside.
“Why didn’t you kill that cop?!” Nada demands.
“Why didn’t you kill Mr. Medieval over ther… oh, I know, they possessed you, they want you to kill me!”
“No, that’s wrong, why didn’t you kill the cop?”
“Something held me back.”
“ ‘Something held me back.’ No, nothing held you back, you’re working with the aliens aren’t you?” Nada holds up his Ithaca 37.
Ash holds up his “Boomstick” “This is my boomstick!”
“That’s what you’re here to do, huh? Show me your ‘Boomstick’? I came here to kick a*s and chew bubblegum and I’m all out of bubblegum.” Nada replies.
They both run to the side and fire their guns at each other missing and while they’re running, Nada shoots in front of Ash and it lands a hit. He falls down to the ground, holding his wound. Nada then, walks up to him and holds the gun barrel up to his head. He pumps the shotgun and pulls the trigger. He then, grabs his pack and walks out of the bar with the shotgun in his hand. He calls for a taxi and once, the taxi comes, he gets in and it drives away.
Expert's Opinon[]
Ash was an excellent fighter but, wasn't fast enough to think things through which, cost him this fight.
To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.
Battle vs. R.J. MacReady (by Battlefan237)[]
Dr.Macready carefully edged his way out of the chaotic ruin of the base. Though the temperature of Antarctica was not very low at this very moment, it’s not yet warm enough to ease Macready’s nervous mind. ‘I used to regard working at such a place as a boring and tedious task, but what I've experienced completely changed my concept on this job ---anyway a tedious job doesn’t provide you with the chance to experience an alien invasion.’ Macready whispered to himself silently, as if he wasn’t willing to break the atmosphere of tranquility around him. He gazed around a pile of broken iron structure, took a long gasp, and began to figure out a plan of getting in touch with others. ‘This form of tranquility is kind of enjoyable …’ He thought to himself. All in a sudden, his daydream of tranquility got broken by a man who was standing on a nearby hill. The man was dressed in a seemingly blue jacket covered with blood, and Macready didn’t dare to suppose him as a friendly visitor due to the fact that the man was waving a chainsaw wildly. ‘Who are you? Why you’re here? What do you want?’ Macready pointed his Ithaca rifle at the man.
The man whose name was Ash, however, failed to hear doctor’s questions, only noticing the rifle. ‘Oh damn, he’s a hostile one!’ Ash held out his Winchester rifle and fired two shot at the doctor—both were dodged by Macready. 'Oh, hell!' Ash yelled with disappoint.
Macready, who now took Ash as an enemy, sheltered himself by entering a nearby abandoned garage. As Ash marched down the hill while swearing about the ‘damn freezing weather’, Macready used the back part of the rifle to break the glass case where a fire axe had been set in case he ran out of bullets. As soon as Macready lifted the axe up, Ash kicked the door open . ‘Oh no!’ Macready had no choice but immediately took out his colt pistol from the coat, shooting all bullets towards Ash. Ash quickly dodged by leaning down, so that all those bullets were wasted on the garage wall. Hearing the sound of the empty round, Ash got up and shouted ‘It’s my turn now ! Let me show you my boomstick! ’ while holding up his Winchester rifle, aiming it at Macready who had already prepared the Ithaca. Due to the lack of training, Ash wasn’t fast enough to match up with doctor. Macready fired one shot that straightly headed to Ash’s chest where Ash defended himself by clumsily putting up his chainsaw. The bullet stuck in the engine of the chainsaw which started to let out unpleasant smoke. ‘Hell no, hell of a ….!’ Ash leaned down again before doctor fired another shot. He lit up a dynamite and threw it back quickly before Macready could fire the third shot. The blast of a homemade dynamite was not as brilliant as expected because Ash threw it towards doctor without taking a measure on where exactly the doctor was standing. In this way, the bomb blast right before Macready, forcing him to drop his rifle and pushed him back, but failed in hurting him. The axe was also thrown nearby Macready by the blast, so he simply picked it up . Ash launched another attack by firing Winchester rifle, but Macready escaped from the back door right before the bullet pierced into the clock hanging on it.
Ash followed him into a dark corridor, randomly firing his rifle into shadow in an attempt to take down his rivalry enemy hiding inside it. He discarded the empty-loaded Winchester and took out his secondary weapon-a double barrel shotgun that had been packed on his back. 'Come out, come out, stop showing your cowardice by playing hide-and-seek with me like a small kid.' Ash's facial expression was composed into contrition of nerve as he mocked the doctor . The feeling inside his heart was extremely complicated because the corridor was a bit too quiet---there must be something false in this environment , but Ash had sensed and not yet totally figured it out. In this way, Ash wasn't much too shocked when the doctor raided him with an axe from a dark corner. However, Ash wasn't able to endure the pain caused by the cut on his arm, so he had his shotgun thrown out onto the ground. 'Arrrr!'Ash screamed in pain as he kicked Macready in the chest with great anger .
The kick was hard enough to send the doctor falling back into the corner, where lay the deadliest weapon of the base--a flamethrower. A few minutes ago, Macready wasn't capable of discovering this weapon due to the fact that he'd been chased by an unexpected attacker. However, the fall caused one of his hand to get in touch with the flame pipe. As Ash who tended to accept the superficial fact that he's sure to win this fight wanted to ensure his victory, so he lit up the second dynamite .
'Hey, f**k you too with those damn aliens!' Macready opened up the deadly machine. Flaming fire fiercely streamed out the pipe. Ash, who's totally in panic this time, randomly threw out the dynamite in haste, crashing out of the window in order to secure his life.
Macready, who now stood up, beamed out a victorious smile, but the smile faded out as he noticed something extremely wrongful on the floor--a amateur-made dynamite somehow rolled towards his flamethrower, and stopped right next to it. 'Oh no...!' Macready wasn't able to finish his last word as the dynamite exploded , Following by the explosion of the flamethrower. Bright fire covered the body of Macready, burning the poor doctor like a roasted lamb on barbeque. The scene was notorious to watch and disgusting to smell. Ash, who watched the whole corridor burned down, chuckled sarcastically as he heard the cracking noise of the roof breaking down and slumped on Macready's total burned-out, but yet standing body. The whacky sound was a combination of human body being slashed and iron bar collided with wooden furniture.
'That's hell of a battle.' Ash said in relief as he walked down the path with his broken arm. He encountered another man at the other side of the base. 'Hey, you can tell me what is exactly going on?' Ash shouted to him, but was terrified as the man's body dismembered itself into disgusting pieces , eyes popped out and legs turned into tentacles ......
Winner: Ash Williams
Expert's Opinion[]
Ash won due to the fact that he's a much more experienced and creative warrior while Macready is a rather traditional type of soldier. Plus, Ash is better armed.