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You should try out for RED Team!
— The Heavy

RED (Reliable Excavation Demolition), a subsidiary of TF Industries, allegedly specialises in "demolition operations". In reality, from behind a myriad of sub-fronts, it secretly controls half of the world's governments. RED is led by founder and CEO Redmond Mann. Beneath the convincing exterior of their bases of operations can be found computer racks, satellites, rockets, and missile installations.

The other half of the world is just as secretly controlled by their rivals, BLU (Builders League United). Each corporation administers its half of the world with a multi-disciplined army of paper pushers. For any problem lacking an obvious bureaucratic solution, mercenaries are contracted to address the situation through a massive application of force. Conflicts between the two companies began as land disputes between their leaders, and have continued for about a century to the present day. RED and BLU share an intense rivalry, with nearly all encounters between the two quickly escalating into brutal and often fatal violence. Inter-company friendship is also strictly forbidden by contract.

Despite this, the RED Demoman and the BLU Soldier at one time became fast friends after meeting each other at a projectile weapons expo. Once this was brought to the attention of the Administrator, however, she pitted them against each other in a deadly competition that promised a mysterious new item to the winner, twisting their former friendship into a bloody war. RED favors a more rustic style of architecture than BLU. RED's dress code, however, is rather liberal, requiring that employees adopt a red motif for easy identification. This could also be for identification by Sentry Guns.

Battle vs. Blood Gulch Squads (by J80Kar)[]

Prologue

Outpost 17-B "Vahalla" / Post War: Year 2

"Oh no! Oh no!" yelled Caboose.

"Caboose! I told you not to touch the fusi- AH! SON OF A BITCH!" screamed Church as he flew into the sky.

"I'd say that's a new record for Church flying into the sky like that," added Tucker. "Hey Doc! We need your assistance again!"

"Seriously guys?" asked Doc when walks towards Tucker. "That's the 25th time this week that Caboose blew up Church in any kind of manner."

"On the contrary, your pet has been helping me create new ways of killing you guys! Muahahahahaha!" stated O'Malley.

Correction: Post War-Year 2.25

"AHHHHHHHHH! OOOF!" Church lands back on the base. "Caboose, I swear, when I get back up, I will fucking haunt you like never before!"

"Eeeeep!"

Tex comes walking towards the trio, "Hey what's with the commotion? Oh wait never mind."

"A little help here Tex?" asks Church.

Doc comes over and helps Church.

"Nah, you can handle yourself."

"So how's the reparis on tank going so far?" asked Tucker.

"It could go a lot faster if you guys helped me!" yelled Tex.

"What can I say, I'm a lover not a worker," stated Tucker.

All of a sudden a blue flash is seen in the middle of the canyon.

"Yeah fireworks!" yelled Caboose wth joy.

"Well that's my cue to run and hide. See ya inside the base!" Doc leaves.

"NO YOU IDIOT! DON'T LEAVE WHEN THE FUN IS ABOUT TO START!" shouted O'Malley.

"Those aren't fireworks you idiot!" said Church.

"I'm gonna go and check it out," said Tex as she left the base.

"Hey wait up Tex!" exclaimed Church as he was running towards her.

"Wanna go and follow them?" asked Caboose.

"EW! Gross dude!" exclaimed Tucker.

Back at the Red Base, Lopez and Sarge were repairing the warthog while Grif and Simmons just saw the blue light.

"What could possibly be going on?" asked Grif.

"You know Grif, after having all these events that have happened to us in our military careers, what isn't going on?" replied Simmons.

"Hmm point taken," said Grif.

Sarge comes up, "Hey what are you dirtbags doing up here?"

"Hey sir, we saw a blue flash and uhh Sarge?" Simmons looks around and can't find him. "Where's sarge?"

"He left immediatle after you said 'blue'" said Grif.

"Dammit Grif!" yelled Simmons after he ran after Sarge.

"Hey anything to keep us out of working," replied Grif as he ran after Simmons. In the middle of Valhalla, a portal opens with a RED Insignia Logo on the side of it. Out comes the Scout, Soldier, Pyro, Demoman, Heavy, Engy, Spy, Sniper, and Medic.

"I'm kinda liking this new place!" said the Scout.

"Remember what we're here for," stated the Spy. "We have to find a new place for Mann for his payload factory."

The Engy gets his toolbox, while Demo keeps drinking his whiskey, and the Pyro is having another one of his visions.

The sniper, scanning the area, sees two figures on the horizon, "We've got a couple of blokes near us."

Everyone gets their weapons ready, while Tex and Church creep up on them. "Who the hell are they?"

"Whatever they are, they're neither UNSC or Freelancers," stated Tex.

"Are you sure?"

Tex gives Church a cold stare. "Right, sorry."

The entire RED Team opens fire at them.

"Ah crap they're on us! RUN!" Tex and Church retreat back to their base.

"Time to hide you cowards!" yelled the Heavy with Sasha.

The RED Team starts chasing the Blues back to their base.

"Hahaha, take that you dirty Blues! Hahaha reminds me of the old days," says Sarge.

"That happened last month sir," replied Simmons.

"Ehh it still felt longer for me," added Sarge.

"Well look at that Sarge, seems like our job is going to be done by someone else. Even better, we'll be shipped out of here when the Blues are dead. Rewards and benefits for all of us. Someone else will be doing the fighting for us, while we're kicking back on the sidelines," said Grif. "Uhh Sarge."

Sarge groans,"GRRRRR!"

"Ugh Grif, I don't think you should've done that," replied Simmons.

"We have to fight for what's ours men! Now I don't care that the Blues are our mortal enemies, but if someone else is going to kill them, then they have officially declared war with the Red Army! C'mon fellas. Lopez prepare the warthog."

"Ugh si!" says Lopez on the comms.

"Wait sarge the warthog only fits three people, that's going to be a problem," stated Grif.

"Oh don't worry Grif...I've got a special assignment for you," replied Sarge.

"I don't like where this is going."

The three head back to Red Base...


Battle

Blood Gulch: Teal Red Darkred Orange Blue Brown Purple Light-blue Grey

RED: Red Red Red Red Red Red Red Red Red

"AH CRAP!" Church and Tex make it back to Blue Base and take cover.

"Hey what the hell is going on?" asks Tucker and Caboose.

"Some random group of people came out of this portal and started firing at us!" exclaimed Tucker.

"Ah crap, is it the Zealots from that other canyon?!" asked Tucker.

"Umm no, but they mentioned someone named Mann," said Tex.

"Men men menly men men men," Caboose starts to sing.

"Caboose shut up! You're gonna give away our position!"

"Oh sorry, that was my fault!" said Caboose.

"That's right, run you foolish fools! Muahahahah!" shouted O'Malley.

"O'Malley, you're gonna give away our position!" replied Doc.

"Shut up!"

"Anyway, we took fire from these random group of people, so we retreated back up here," said Church.

"So what do we do now?" asked Caboose.

"Isn't it obvious, OBLITERATE THOSE FOOLS TO OBLIVION MUAHAHAHA!" said O'Malley as he picked up a Rocket Launcher.

Tex punches Doc/O'Malley.

"OW! Hey two people that you're punching here!" replied Doc.

"Well we're gonna have to come up with a battle plan...Tucker give me the files," said Church.

"Yeah about that...I had to create some space for my 'home movies' so..."

"Oh you gotta be kidding me!"

Meanwhile, the RED Team is surrounding the Blue Base.

"Sniper, do you see anything?" asks the Soldier.

"Them blokes are hiding in there, we need to flush 'em out!" replied the Sniper.

"All right then, Pyro you're up!" said Engy.

"Mmmph mmmph mmmhp mhpph mmmhp mhhmhpp ahahahah!" said the Pyro.

All of a sudden the group hears tejano music.

"What the hell is that?" asked the Spy.

"Yo man, this music ain't great!" added the Scout.

"Do I hear a..." as the Heavy was about to speak Sarge, Lopez, and Simmons ride over the group in the Warthog.

"WHOO-HOO!" shouted Simmons.

"Last one alive lock the door!" said the Soldier as he started to retreat.

Simmons starts firing the machine gun turret at the group. "Yeah that's right! Suck it Reds! Suck it!"

"Uh...Simmons," said Sarge riding shotgun, with his shotgun.

"Yeah take that, suck it Reds! Take that you honky motherfuckers! Suck it bitch! Suck it!"

Lopez (spanish), "Ugh let the idiot have his fun."

Seeing that most ot the group fell back, Simmons gets off the Warthog, followed by Lopez and Sarge.

"Whoo that was fun!" said Simmons.

Spy notions towards the Demoman, Demo takes out his sticky bomb launcher and firess a couple of bombs at the warthog.

"Hey Sarge, where's Grif?" asked Simmons.

A sound from the homosapient respulsifier was heard, followed by terrifying screaming. "AHHHH AHHH! AHHHH!"

"Hey should be here right.....about...." said Sarge calculating the landing.

"AHHHHH OOOF!" Grif lands on the Warthog, at the same time the Demoman activates the trigger sequence, sending Grif flying into the air once again. "AHHHHH! AHHHH! I STILL HAVEN'T FINISHED MY RESTING SHIFT YET AHHHHHH!"

"........now! What the- where is that dirtbag?! Private Grif, if you're alive give us some agonizing pain. If you're dead, give us more agonizing pain!"

Grif lands near RED Team, Spy motions Pyro forward, Pyro preps his flamethrower while laughing maniacally.

A fire ball shows several yards away from Simmons, Sarge, and Lopez....

"YAAAAAA!!!!!!! SON OF A BITCH!!!!! AHHHHHHH! HERKKK! BLEEHHHHHHH!" were Grif's final moments.

Blood Gulch: Teal Red Darkred Blue Brown Purple Light-blue Grey

RED Team: Red x 9

"I'll take that as an agonizing death.. Hehehe take that Gr-wait a second I'M SUPPOSED TO KILL GRIF WITH MY BARE HANDS!" yelled Sarge. "DAMN YOU RANDOM, sorry for saying this Red Command, RED BASTARDS!"

Lopez (spanish), *sigh* "It took me 2 days just to fix this vehicle and you idiots ruined it again!"

"I agree Lopez, let's exact our revenge of those strangers killing Grif, for not me getting the opportunity to kill Grif myself!"

"That seems quite a contradiction sir," added Simmons.

"Nonsense Simmons, it all makes sense," says Sarge as he loaded his shotgun.

"Hey Reds!" yelled Church.

Both Red Teams looks at Blue Base.

"Oooh, this is awkward, ummm....the Reds that we're fighting!"

Both teams still look at them.

"Wow I wasn't really prepared for this...OW Tex!" Tex punches him in midsentence.

"He means the cockbites that we've been fighting for awhile!" yelled out Tex.

"All right men, I hate to say this but, get to Blue Base! Lopez give us some covering fire!"

"Si," said Lopez and starts firing his battle rifle. The soldier, engy, and heavy return fire as Simmons, Sarge, and Lopez make it to Red Base.

"Hey assholes!" greeted Tucker.

"Hey Seargeant Sarge, Patronizing Simmons, and Spanish Robot," greeted Caboose.

Lopez (spanish), "Really?! You remember their names, but not mine! I'd rather die by the reds that are attacking us!"

"Seems your robot is eager to fight," said Church.

Lopez (spanish), "I hate it that no one can understand the language I'm speaking! Better yet, why did you program me to speakspanish in the first place!"

"Lopez you little kidder!" laughed Sarge.

"That's it when this is all over I'm going to kill each and everyone of you, except the black one, and claim this canyon my own!" (spansish) Lopez said angrily.

Back outside, the RED Team resumes to converge onto Blue Base.

"Everyone get your weapons ready!" ordered the Soldier.

Tex peaks outside, and sees the enemy team on the move. "Ok we'll take this one step at a time," she said.

Everyone loads up on weapons and ammo, at the same time the Medic has been charging Heavy preparing for an Ubercharge. The Engineer builds a sentry and begins to immediately upgrade it to a level 3.

"Where the hell are they?" asked the Spy.

All was quiet unti..."ATTACK!" yelled Sarge. Sarge, Simmons, Lopez, and Doc/O'Malley ran out guns blazing at the enemy team, while Tucker and Caboose go near the waterfall to flank RED Team. Tex and Church go up top to give sniper support.

"You dirtbags will pay for not giving me the chance to kill Grif myself!" yelled Sarge at the Soldier.

"Muahahaha take this you foolish fools!" O'Malley fires a two rockets at the very drunk Demoman who couldn't move away in time. The first one takes out his whiskey bottle.

"HEY YOU ER MY WHIKEYS!" yelled Demoman until he got blown up by the second rocket.

Blood Gulch: Teal Red Darkred Blue Brown Purple Light-blue Grey

RED Team: Red x 8

"MUAHAHAHAHA EVIL WINS!" yelled O'Malley with joy. This victory was short-lived when the sentry locked onto Doc's location.

"Umm O'Malley? Look!" said Doc in fear, seeing the level 3 sentry point at him.

"THEN MOVE YOU IDIOT!" replied O'Malley, but it was too late the sentry fired its rockets and unloaded a hail storm of bullets at Doc.

"Hey what's going on guys?" asked Caboose on the radio

"BWHEWHBEWHWHBWEBWHEBWBHEWHWHEWBWHEWB! HERKKKKK BLEHHH!" Doc falls to the ground dead. Luckily O'Malley moved to Caboose.

"Well at least this idiot is better than any fool in this canyon," said O'Malley in Caboose's body.

Blood Gulch: Teal Red Darkred Blue Brown Light-blue Grey

RED Team: Redx 8 "Lopez move up!" ordered Sarge.

"Ughh....si!" (spanish) replied Lopez. Lopez equipps himself with a missle pod launcher and fires a barrage of missiles at Engy and the Sentry. The Engineer, who's to ocuppied building a dispenser, doesn't see the oncoming missiles.

The sentry is immediatey taken out.

"SENTRY DOWN!" The Engineer tries to build another one, but gets blown up in the process. "WHAHHHH!" Engy's body parts are blown everywhere.

Blood Gulch: Teal Red Darkred Blue Brown Light-blue Grey

RED Team: Red x 7

"Excellent work Lopez!" commented Sarge.

Lopez continues to give supressing fire. At the same, the Medic fully charged the Heavy and intiated the Ubercharge. The Heavy comes into the fray guns blazing with Sasha.

Lopez, Sarge, and Simmons try to take him down, but it was futile.

"JESUS! WHAT'S WITH THIS GUY SARGE?!" asked Simmons in fear.

"I don't know Simmons, but when this is over I want that kind of technology," replied Sarge.

"Ugh..you very tactical sir," said Simmons sarcastically.

Lopez yelled towards the duo (spanish), "I think now would be a good time to go you idiots!"

"I agree Lopez, you stay here and hold him off while me and Simmons fall back. Good luck amigo!" said Sarge while they retreated.

"THAT'S IT, I'M GOING TO OFFICIALLY KILL YOU ALL!" (spanish) yelled Lopez.

Lopez fires his remaing missiles and switches to his BR, but no damage is done to the Heavy.

"YAAAAA! HAHAHAHAAH! I AM BULLET PROOF!" The Heavy takes out Lopez with ease, sending his robotic head flying back to the base landing near Sarge and Simmons.

Blood Gulch: Teal Red Darkred Blue Light-blue Grey

RED Team: Red x 7

"Oh poor Lopez! My robotic amigo! I still didn't get to install the robot nuts yet, you will be missed! Adios amigo, adios!" said Sarge.

"I'm still alive you idiot! Just put me on another robotic body!" (spanish) yelled Lopez.

Back on top of Blue Base, Tex and Church try to find a weakness in the Uberchrage.

"Hey I bet that guy behind the fat one is giving off that energy, if I can take him out, the fat one is done for," Tex said to Church.

"I'll take him out Tex," replied Church. Church aims his sniper at the Heavy waiting for a good opportunity for the charge to stop. After a few seconds, the Ubercharge shuts down, leaving the Medic in the open.

"Say goodnight!" said Church and fires the entire magazine at the Medic, badly missing each shot. "Oh this is just bullshit!" Church fires another magazine, and still badly misses each shot. "Dammit!"

"Dumkof! He can't even aim right!" yelled the Medic.

"Oh jeez!" Tex aims at the Medic, and takes him out with a headshot.

"RAHHHHH!" The Medic falls dead.

Blood Gulch: Teal Red Darkred Blue Light-blue Grey

RED Team: Red x 6

"Showoff! The sight was dusty!" yelled Church.

"Yeah yeah yeah, say what you want to say," replied Tex.

"Medic is down!" Heavy takes out a Sandvich, eats it, then gets into a fit of rage. "YAHHHHH!"

"Uh oh Tucker, Caboose take that guy out!" ordered Church.

"GROSS DUDE!" replied Tucker on the radio.

"Now that kind of taking out, kill him!" replied Church.

"Ehhh fine, whatever it takes to watch my home movies again, c'mon Caboose."

"Just wait a second, thinking about kittens and babies..." Caboose starts to get into a fit of rage also, then jumps out into the open. "RAHHHHH! MY NAME IS MICHAEL J. CABOOSE AND I HATE BABIES!" Tucker follows him with his sword.

The Scout sees the two and alerts Heavy, "Yo we've got a couple of BLUs here!" Scout starts running towards Tucker with his bat, while the Heavy and Caboose slug it out. Meanwhile, the Spy sneaks into Blue Base.

Scout runs up to Tucker and hits him with the bat. "BONK! You can't catch me yo!"

"OW! Hey, you bitch!" replied Tucker. "Tex a little help here!"

"Already on it Tucker," said Tex on the comms. Tex aims the sniper rifle at the Scout's legs and wiats for an opportunity.

"Try to keep up!" said the Scout as he was running towards Tucker. As the Scout was about to hit him, a sniper round gets the Scout in the leg sending him flying towards Tucker. Tucker gets his sword.

"Hey I've got something better than your 'BONK' SWISH!" Tucker slices the Scout.


Blood Gulch: Teal Red Darkred Blue Light-blue Grey

RED Team: Red x 5

Tucker begins to head towards Caboose to help him, but the Soldier catches him in the open and fires a rocket at point blank. "Take this!" yelled the Soldier.

"AW SHIT!" Tucker tries to dodge it, but gets hit and body parts begin to fly around. "AH! SON OF A BITCH!" were his last words.

Blood Gulch: Red Darkred Blue Light-blue Grey

RED Team: Red x 5

"He'll always be remembered as the lazy asshole that I know," said Church. Tex nods her head in agreement.

The fight between Heavy and Caboose is a hectic one, neither person gaining the advantage.

"YOUR TEAM IS FULL OF BABIES!" yelled Heavy.

"DON'T CALL CHURCH A BABY!" yelled Caboose.

"YES! YES! IDIOT GIVE INTO YOUR ANGER! MUAHAHAHA!" stated O'Malley.

Sarge heads topside to see what's going on. "Hmm I think Caboose could use some support here," said Sarge.

"Well can't even take out that guy!" replied Church.

"No I think he meant moral support Church," added Tex.

"What do you mean by-oh hell no! NO! NEVER IN A MILLION F***ING YEARS! NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES HE HAS TEAM KILLED ME! NEVER!"

"Just do it," said Tex, showing her fists.

"All right fine!" Church looks at Tex, then at Caboose. Church then takes a deep breath. "Hey Caboose, if you make it back alive I will...ummm....be...ummm...uhhh......mmmm...your........best.....fr-....fr-....fri-....fr-....."

"Just say it already!" yelled Tex and Sarge.

"I will be your best friend!" finished Church.

Caboose, hearing this, gets massive strength from within. "YES! YES! YES I KNEW IT! I KNEW THAT THIS WOULD HAPPEN! YAAAAAA!" Caboose starts beating Heavy up to a pulp. Heavy, trying to defend himself, attempts to grab his shotgun. Caboose quickly takes out a gravity hammer, and prepares to gve the coup' de grais.

"NEVER MESS WITH CHURCH!" The hammer starts to descend on Heavy's head.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH YAHHH DUHHHH AHHH!" Heavy tris to cover his head, but gets smashed instantly.

Blood Gulch: Red Darkred Blue Light-blue Grey

RED Team: Red x 4

"YES I DID IT!" yelled Caboose with joy, however short lived when the Pyro. "AHHH FIRE! THAT'S BAD! BAD FIRE!" Caboose starts running around ablaze.

"YOU FOOL GO TO THE RIVER!" yelled O'Malley. Caboose runs into the river, and the fire gets off. "AHHHHH THAT'S NICE!" As Caboose got up, the Sniper killed him with a headshot.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH! HERKKK BLEHHH!"

"CABOOSE NOOOOO!" yelled Church.

Blood Gulch: Red Darkred Light-blue Grey

RED Team: Red x 4

Simmons walks up to the top of the base. "Hey uys what's up?"

"Oh Simmons, we're the only ones left here to take on this threat," said Sarge.

Tex starts looking at Simmons, and goes back into the base.

"I say that we should give up sir," said Simmons.

"What the- at a time like this?!" asked Sarge.

"I mean it sir, like we can make an alliance with these RED guys and take out the BLUs," said Simmons.

"Say that word again," requested Sarge.

"BLU," said Simmons.

"Spell it out."

"B-L-U..AH!" Tex comes out of camo and rips the skull out of Simmons head, but turns out to be the Spy. Tex uses the Spy's skull to beat him to death with it.

"AHHH! THIS DOESN'T SEEM PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE! AHHHHH!" Spy dies.

"I knew there was something fishy about him," said Tex.

"If that wasn't Simmons, where is he?" asked Sarge.

All three went inside the base, revelaing that Simmons was backstabbed by the Spy when guarding the entrance.

"Oh what a shame, I was gonna give him a medal. Oh well, 3 awards for me!" said Sarge.

Blood Gulch: Red Light-blue Grey

RED Team: Red x 3

The Solider, Pyro, and Sniper seeing that they finally ran out of ammo switched to their melee weapons, and started to run towards Blue Base. Soldier gives off his war cry. "AHHHH AHHHHAHHHHH!"

"Here they come!" yeled Church.

Sarge loads his last shell, while Tex cracks her knuckles.

The Pyro was the first to enter the base and is taken out by Sarge's shotgun.

"TAKE THAT DIRTBAG!" yelled Sarge.

Blood Gulch: Red Light-blue Grey

RED Team: Red x 2

The Sniper comes in and throws a jar, "Jarate!"

Tex dodges it, and it splatters all over Church's helmet.

"AH!! PISS! WHO PUTS PISS IN A JAR?! SERIOUSLY?! AND I THOUGHT SARGE AND EVERYONE ELSE HERE WAS CRAZY!" yelled Church as he runs outside to wash his helmet. "UHH THAT'S GONNA RUST!"

The Soldier and Sarge duke it out in a shovel vs wrench battle. Soldier tries to hit Sarge in every weak spot possible, but the armor protects him.

"Thank god for the armor!" said Sarge, and kills the solider with a few deadly blows to the head.

"WUAHHHH! AHHH!" Soldier falls dead to the floor.

Blood Gulch: Red Light-blue Grey

RED Team: Red

Sarge starts running towards the Sniper, but the Sniper dodges the attack and stabs Sarge in the abodmen and takes his hat off as a sign off respect.

"Nothing personal mate," said the Sniper.

"My only regret, was not having the chance to kill Grif over and over again..." Sarge falls dead.

Blood Gulch: Light-blue Grey

RED Team: Red

Lopez, seeing this, starts to cheer with jubilance. "YES I'M FREE FROM THIS MESS!"

Tex and Sniper go into a standoff. Tex hears something come into the base and stands down.

"What in the blimey?! Highghahah kerkk jekrjkr jekrk!" The Sniper's body stands still for a few seconds.

"Tex can you hear me? Wait is this an Austrailian accent?!" asked Church's voice in the Sniper's body. "Let me try something." Church clears his throat. "G'day mate! Crockey! Hahaha I've always wanted to say that!"

"Just let me finish him Church!" yelled Tex.

"Fine!" Church comes out of the Sniper's body, while the Sniper becomes all dazed.

Tex cracks her knuckles again and beats the sniper to a pulp. "That should do it."

The sniper's body is all broken and covered in blood.

"Great, now the base is all messy again!" yelled Church. "Cab- oh wait nevermind."

Blood Gulch: Light-blue Grey

RED Team:

Winner: Blood Gulch Sqauds


Epilogue

Tex and Church go on top of Blue Base, and just watch the canyon.

"So now what? My entire team is dead, the Reds are dead, Doc is even dead," stated Church.

"I'm still here you know!" (spanish) yelled Lopez's head

"Well that means my work here is over," said Tex.

"What?! Oh come on!" yelled Church.

"Church I'm a freelancer," said Tex. "once a job is done, we get contacted for another contract."

"Tex..."

All of a sudden an enormous bulldozer like factory comes through a teleporter and opens.

"What the hell?!" yelled Church.

Tex and Church aim their rifles at the opening...

Inside, robots began to activate looking like the members of the RED Team members themselves.

All of a sudden wave after wave of them started to run down the ramp towards Blue Base.

"OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME!" yelled Church.

"Looks like I'm still needed here," said Tex as she grabs weapons from the weapon crates.

The robots began to converge onto Blue Base, then Tex jumps down with a machine gun turret....

Expert's Opinion[]

While RED Team had altogether better teamwork than the somewhat disorganized Blood Gultch Squads, the latter had much more advanced weaponry, as well as armor that physically enhanced them, and provided more protection.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Battle vs. Dinosaurgruppe (by Undead RVD)[]

Within the bounds a small but highly valuable city in Germany, the scent of impending warfare lingers in the air. Clicks, shearing and other mechanical sounds are the only sounds heard in the night. No people walk the streets and market place of the once inhabited city. It had been evacuated so that the two leading forces can fight for control of it. However, a phenomenon, one too faint for anyone to sense, has appeared and “cuts” the city in half to change the shape of events that will come. ....The next morning, in a large facility on one side of the city, a wide garage door opens and nine men charge out. They are all armed to the teeth and wearing red. This is the RED Team. Scout bolts out first, as he is the fastest. He is followed by Soldier and Demoman, who are rearing to blow things up. Sniper heads for the highest point and begins to travel through the buildings to get a vantage point. Spy slips into the shadows, looking to get behind the enemy. The Pyro goes his own path, also looking to surprise the enemy. The last ones out are Heavy, Medic and Engineer. Heavy leads the way, ready to take in enemy fire when it comes at them, as Medic pumps him up with his Medigun and Engineer sets up a teleporter from the start.

Leaderboard class soldierLeaderboard class scoutLeaderboard class sniperLeaderboard class demomanLeaderboard class pyroLeaderboard class engineerLeaderboard class medicLeaderboard class spyLeaderboard class heavy

Soon, RED reaches the Control Point they are to secure and protect. Scout is the first one there but things are not right; not in a “this is bad” way but in a “this is weird” way. No BLU team members are in sight. He is met with Soldier and Demoman, who are equally puzzled. Sniper is in a building above the check-point, looking for any BLU mercenaries but finds nothing. Spy and Pyro exit their alley ways; Spy is wearing a BLU Soldier disguise, anticipating some back-stabbing while the Pyro comes out blazing, stopping when he finds no one to burn. Heavy, Medic and Engineer finely make it. The RED team is stumped.

“This is not right,” Exclaims the Soldier in anger. “We should be battling the enemy right now, not waiting for them!”

“Relax, Yankee-Doodle,” Scout says to calm the angry man with a rocket launcher. “They probably just late getting here."

“No. We should be worried.”

The RED team turns to the speaker: the Spy.

“Something is off, here. Perhaps some people don’t notice it but there is something wrong about this place. Look at where we are standing.”

The rest of the RED team looks around. Most of them see nothing. Engineer, however, starts to see it. It is phenomenal but explainable. Meanwhile, Sniper has a curious look to him, as he follows something in the sky.

“I see nothing,” Heavy responds.

“No, there is something,” the Engineer says. “I can’t explain it but something is just not right. It’s like we are under a doorway… between two points in time. Just look at the streets and buildings.” Everyone starts to look at the buildings and start to see the “split”: one half looks and feels like the city they came to the day before and this morning; the other half, however, looks and feels like it is in a time before theirs.

“I have a theory,” Engi starts to speak, “It is quite possible that we are standing under some kind of ‘worm hole’, creating a gate way between our time and another. The other side is identical in appearance but appears to be of an older time.”

“I think I found the line of it,” the Australian voice of the Sniper calls down. He points into the sky. The rest of the RED team sees the strange, phenomenal line between the worlds. They can only stare at the anomaly with no ability to do anything. ....On the other side of the “door way”, a large base WWII opens its heavy doors. On the base is a unique symbol on it: the silhouette of a Pterosaur with the sig runes of the Schutzstaffel. Out the doors comes three soldiers wearing Nazi soldier uniforms and armed with different but appropriate weapons. The leader, Kurt Streicher, marches out first, followed by the sniper Karl Hissman and the medic Wolfgang von Graff. They are soon followed by the rest of their team: six strange and unique reptilian creatures, organisms that once walked the Earth many millennia ago; in other words, Dinosaurs.

The first dinosaurs out were the smallest ones. One of the small ones is a raptor, with a huge, hulking toe claw and patches of feathers on the back of its head, on its elbows and around its tail; it is the famous Velociraptor (not the misidentified ones from Jurassic). To the right of the Velociraptor is a tinier dino, lean in build with a longer neck and tiny head; it is a Compsognathus. It has a stick grenade strapped to its back. To the left of the raptor is a dino even smaller and, interestingly, appears more like a bird. It is covered in feathers and has long arms that form into wings; it is a Microraptor.

Following them are the larger dinosaurs. The first one out is a large but lean predator with a unique crest on its head; it is a Dilophosaurus. Right behind it is a large bipedal herbivore with an incredibly durable, ram-like dome on its head with a few small horns around its head; it is a Stygimoloch. It has a MG34 turret strapped to its back. The last one out is a short but very thick and strong reptile with large horn-like spikes on its back that stick out to its sides; it is a Desmatosuchus (interestingly, it is not an actual dinosaur but part of an order of reptiles that preluded the true dinosaurs). On its back is a large 20mm anti-air gun.

Together, they are the Dinosauriergruppe, the ultimate weapon of the Nazi army.

The soldiers and dinosaurs take their routes. The Velociraptor and Compsoganathus are the first ones coming into the city, as they are the fastest. The Microraptor flies up into the roof-tops of the city while Hissman goes into the buildings. The Dilophosaurus and Stygimoloch charge in at full speed while Streicher and Graff follow foot. The Desmatosuchus falls beyind, mainly because it is very slow and heavy.

StreicherThumbRaptorThumbHissmanThumbCompsognathusThumbDilophosaurusThumbStygimolochThumbGraffThumbMicroraptorThumbDesmatosuchusThumb

“I say it’s some experiment gone wrong,” Scout speaks, “The engineers from the BLU team might have been working on some new super-teleporter and it made this... thing.”

The RED team is still standing around, trying to figure out what exactly is happening and why.

“Maybe the city is haunted?” Demo says, “It’s not the first time we saw supernatural stuff.”

“What about aliens?” Heavy asks.

“Don’t you get it?” The Soldier comes in, “There is only one answer: The Nazis!”

While Scout, Heavy, Demo, and Soldier keep throwing rather stupid ideas, the more intelligent members (i.e. Spy, Engi and Medic) are thinking about this logically.

“It is defiantly a rip in time and space,” Engi explains, “resulting in a portal between two time periods. How this is happening we don’t know.”

“What we should worry about is what will come of it,” the Spy states, “If we are lucky, it could be connected to a peaceful period. It not, which is likely, we may be facing some hostiles.”

“What about the time-space continuum?” the Medic asks, “We don’t know what harm is being done to it by this rip.”

Engi thinks about this and concern comes over him. “If we had a historian here with us, we could figure out what we need to do so not to mess up the past.”

As the more intelligent people think carefully and the dumber ones keep themselves occupied, the Pyro has built a fire to keep himself entertained and the Sniper keeps watch on the roof. As he keeps watch, he notices a bird perched on the roofs across the way. Initially, he passes it off as a bird. However, he looks at it again. It was a bit big for most birds and has a strange shape to its body. He looks through his scope and sees it clearly: a strange, bird-like creature that has a lizard-like head. It is a monster of a bird.

“Mates,” The Sniper calls down to the others, “there’s a strange looking bird. It doesn’t look good.” The others look up at it and see the surreal critter up on the roofs. What they don’t know is that is a Microraptor; a Microraptor that is a part of the Dinosauriergruppe.

As the others see the Microraptor, it screaches at the soldiers bellow and appears to spit down at Scout. It then jumps up and flies away. Scout falls black, clenching at his eyes. They burn and he is blinded by the spit. The Medic comes in with his Medi Gun and heals up Scout’s eyes, allowing him to see again.

“WHERE'D DAT STUPID BIRD GO?” Scout yells out in anger.

“I think we have bigger problems.” Says the Spy.

Just then, they hear screeches, roars and grunts coming towards them. Two small reptilian creatures, which the RED team can easily identify as dinosaurs, charge in at them with lightning speed.

They are followed up by a few grenades thrown towards their general area. The mercenaries are able to hop away in time before the grenades blow them up. The remaining members of the Dinosauriergruppe join in and attack the mercenaries with full force.

The Heavy, the Demoman and the Soldier (with assistance from the Medic) provide heavy cover-fire as the others RED mercenaries reorient themselves At the same time, the Stygimolochs exchange fire with assistance from Striecher and Graff from behind cover. Engineer starts to build a Sentry Gun and the Sniper aims down at the more dangerous targets. Hissman tries the same thing as the Sniper. The Velociraptor places its eyes on the Scout. Scout sees this and is freaked out by this. He runs into an alleyway with the raptor following foot. The Dilophosaurus goes into another alleyway. The Pyro sees the giant lizard-beast and chases after it. The Desmatosuchus finaly appears and joins in with the Stygimolochs

Meanwhile, the Compsognathus and Microraptor initiate a rather intelligent attack: The Microraptor dives down for an attack on the Heavy, getting him to let off on his firepower, while the Compsognathus gets up to the Demo and Soldier to activate the grenade on its back. However, as the Microraptor dives down onto the Heavy, a bullet goes off and the flying reptile crashes down behind the heavy, being well out of the fight.MicroraptorThumb The Sniper pulls the bolt of his gun, releasing the spent case. The Compsognathus continues on its job when another shot rings out, this time from the Engineer’s Shotgun.CompsognathusThumb The Engineer puts his Shotgun away and returns to building his Sentry Gun.

The Sniper looks behind the Stygimoloch and Desmatosuchus and sees Graff throwing out medic packs which are, somehow, healing the creatures. This explains why the beasts are hardly taking damage. He then aims down onto Graff. What he doesn’t notice is that Hissman has his Karabiner 98 Kurz’s scope aimed on him and fires the rifle. The shot misses by a hair and the Sniper shifts aim to Hissman. As the two are shooting, Hissman takes some hits and realizes he is not as good with a rifle as the Sniper. Thinking this, he decides to shift tactics and takes aim with something else; he calls into the sky and points towards the Sniper. The Australian is confused but takes advantage of the moment to aim onto Nazi sniper’s head.

Just before he could fire, though, the Sniper notices a screech in the sky. He looks up and wonders what it is. He finely gets a sight of the source: a strange bird-like creature flying down towards him; it is a Pterosaur, and it has a bomb strapped to it. With what reflexes he has, the Australian leaps as far away from the creature but is still caught in the blast. The blast severely injures him and Hissman now has the Sniper in a perfect spot.

The Soldier hears explosion and looks behind himself, Sniper hurt. He then looks ahead and sees the Nazi sniper aiming at him. Then, like a War-Hero, the runs towards the Nazis, fires his Rocket Launcher under his feet, Rocket-Jumping towards the Nazi, and fires a rocket at Hissman. Hissman is caught off-guard and is hit directly in the face by the Crazy-American’s rocket, blowing him to pieces.HissmanThumb

The Soldier lands behind enemy lines and finds himself next to Streicher. The Nazi soldier responds fast enough to aim his MP40 at the American soldier. The Soldier is fast enough to pull out his Shovel, smacking the SMG out of his hands and attack Streicher. Streicher pulls out his combat knife and the two battle. The Soldier’s larger build gives him a good advantage over the Nazi. Streicher is forced to leap to his M40 and, before the Soldier can strike him down, the Nazi soldier unloads a whole magazine into the soldier. While the Soldier is not dead, the shots caused allot of damage, giving Steicher his moment. He disarms the American of his shovel and kicks him down. Streicher unloads the empty magazine and loads another magazine, ready to finish off the Soldier.

With a sudden stroke of fortune, though, the Sniper is able to get up long enough to pull out a jar of yellow liquid and takes aim. “Jarate!” the Sniper flings the jar and it crashes into the Nazi soldier. The Nazi is drenched in the contents, which was urine, and Streicher is blinded, dazed and all around out of it. With adrenalin pumping, the Soldier grabs the Nazi soldier and flings in a ways… all the way into the middle of the firefight. Stretchers is riddled in bullets from the Heavy, Stygimoloch and Desmatosuchus and finely blown to pieces by the Demo’s grenades.StreicherThumb

The Soldier is able to limp behind some safe cover while the Sniper rolls back away from enemy sight. They are not dead but they are well out of the fight, in till the Medic can get them. Leaderboard class soldierLeaderboard class sniper  To Be Continued....

Winner: RED Team.

Expert's Opinion[]

TBW

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Battle vs. Infected (Left 4 Dead) (by Wassboss)[]

Packed tightly together, RED Team are desperately fending off the mobs of infected as they converge upon them. Solider, Pyro, Demoman and Heavy form the outer rim, blocking off the infected with the Medic in the middle switching his healing beam between the four of them. “I’m fully charged!” he shouts suddenly, his Medi Gun crackling with energy.

“Give it to me Doctor,” the Heavy shouts. Flicking the switch for the ubercharge he turns the beam on the Heavy and the pair are covered in a metallic red shine. The infected are all attracted to the bright shining light and the Heavy pushes forward, Minigun spitting out rounds and shredding the infected as they surround the pair. Soldier and Demoman fire their explosives into the horde to thin it out further and the rest of the team chip in with shots as well, until there is a bloody pile of corpses, scattered around the place. The ubercharge wears off and the Heavy’s minigun revs down as the team survey the carnage.

“What the hell was up with them?” the Scout asks.

“I haven’t got the faintest clue laddie,” Demoman replies.

“Looks like you handled it pretty well,” the Spy says, appearing out of nowhere having disappeared as soon as the horde arrived.

“No thanks to you asshole,” Scout says. “Typical of you to run off hiding as soon as trouble starts.” While the pair bicker, the Medic inspects some of the corpses.

“How very interesting.” he says. “It appears as if these people have been infected by some kind of virus.”

“Virus? What virus make you attack people?” the Heavy asks.

“Well, that I don’t know. I’d have to do further research.” While all this has been going on the Engineer has been tapping into his PDA.

“Now fellas, seems we’ve had a bit of a mix up.”

“A mix up? What kind of mix up,” the Spy asks.

“We shouldn’t have been sent here, the co-ordinates we got were faulty. Good news is they’re sending a chopper to come and pick us up.”

“Oh well that’s not so bad then…”

“Bad news is, the only place suitable for landing is an old airfield. On the other side of the city.”

“Of freaking course, it is,” the Scout says. Meanwhile the Medic, who has continued his examination of the corpses, starts to look a bit worried. “Something wrong Doc?” he asks. “I’ve seen this before. When I was working in a doctor in Germany, we had an outbreak of something called the Green Flu Virus. It’s a pathogen which is transmitted either through airborne means or direct fluid contact with an infected individual. It makes those effected by the virus into violent creatures of instinct.”

“But Doc, we’ve been fighting these people. That means I could be infected. I don’t want to turn into deranged violent maniac,” the Soldier says panicking.

“No need to worry. My Medi Gun helps to prevent the effects of any virus when used. And since you’ve all been healed hundreds of times by me, you’ll have built up an immunity to the virus. You won’t turn into a violent maniac.” He pauses. “Well not any more than usual anyway.”

“Will there be more of these infected?” the Engineer asks.

“Almost certainly. Didn’t you all wonder why this place is so quiet. It’s because everyone has either been infected or killed. We’re probably the only healthy people in this entire city.”

“So just to be clear. We’ve got to get through more of these infected in order to get to our evacuation point?"

“Basically yes,” the Medic replies. “The first thing we’ll need to do is send someone to ahead to check for any infected individuals.” His eyes turn to Scout.

“Woah there Doc. What are you looking at me for?”

“Well you are the Scout.”

“Yeah but come on how is it fair that I have to be the one to go on solo against these freaks. Right guys?” He looks around at his teammates but they either avert their gaze or shrug. “I hate all of you,” he says annoyed. “Don’t worry too much, the infection also weakens the individuals so they shouldn’t be too hard to deal with. So long as you don’t get surrounded that is. Then they’ll rip you to shreds.”

“Way to make me feel better Doc. Where is this stupid airfield anyway?”

“It’s directly north from here,” the Engineer says. “If you follow the roads there should be signs that point you in the right direction.”

“Okay will do hardhat. Wish me luck then guys.” Scout dashes off towards the nearest road north of their position, disappearing around a corner.

“As for the rest of us we should stick close together, that way we won’t be overwhelmed if any more of those infected show up,” Engineer says. “Does anybody need any ammo.” Hands are raised all around and the Engineer nods, pressing a few buttons in his PDA and constructing a dispenser. Each of the mercenaries collects some ammo from the building one by one, until they are fully stocked up. The Engineer then packs up the Dispenser back into a toolbox, lugging it over his shoulder to carry along with him should they need it again. The Soldier leads the way and the others all follow after him, going the direction Scout ran off in a few minutes before.


Feet blurring and eyes shifting about, the Scout weaves through the urban sprawl with deftness. There is debris and overturned vehicles everywhere and more than once he has to clamber over one to continue on his path. He stops before turning a corner, as he’s done with all the other turns, and peeks out to see if there are any infected. Seeing a small crowd of them he ducks back behind cover and slides out his baseball bat. Charging at them, he fells the first one with a well-placed swing to the chest and as the others turn, he bashes their heads in before they can really react. “Hey, the Doc was right these guys are easy to kill,” he says to himself.

A much fatter infected lumbers into view, his flesh all bloated and sores covering his body. “What the hell is that” Scout says. “Whatever you are fatso you’re going to end up like your friends over here.” He runs at the infected and swings his bat into its stomach but unlike the other infected this isn’t enough to put it down. It spews green bile out of its mouth and the Scout jumps back as it splatters all over the ground. “Dude what the hell, that’s disgusting” he says appalled. The infected finishes puking and tries to waddle away. “Oh no you don’t, you ain’t going anywhere lard ass,” Scout says taking out his Scattergun. Getting in nice and close he fire a shot right into the fleeing infected’s back. Rather than blasting a hole in it however it causes the infected to explode, knocking the Scout back and coating him in a thick green bile. “Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew” Scout says as he frantically tries brushing the goo off with his hands.

Wiping a big chunk from his eyes, which was restricting his vision, he hears the sound of footsteps approaching and sees a massive horde of infected rushing towards him. “Oh Crap” he says and backpedals with the Infected chasing after him. He takes pot shots with his pistol but it hardly makes a dent in the infected numbers. Suddenly something jumps onto him and his vision is covered by arms grabbing his face, with laugh ringing in his ears. He feels himself being dragged towards the horde and he tries desperately to shake whatever is grabbing onto him off to no avail. He tries pulling against the creature and it works a little bit but for every step he takes away from the horde it pulls him two steps closer.

He feels a sudden blast of air whoosh over his head and his vision is cleared. Looking around confused he sees the Pyro has arrived and is spewing flames into the infected horde. Looking around for the infected that attacked him, Scout spots a hunched over infected loping towards him cackling like a madman. He fires his scattergun at it but the creature jumps into the air, aiming to drag him off again. Before it can land however a shot rings out and it falls ungracefully to the floor with a bullet hole right through the head. The Sniper lowers his rifle from his face and gives a thumbs up to the Scout and the rest of the team comes in to fight the infected horde.

However, the ruckus has drawn the attention of special infected in the area as well. A Hunter leaps from the rooftops, pouncing on the Soldier. It starts ripping into him but before it can do too much damage a grenade hits it square on, blowing it into smithereens. A Spitter vomits out a glob of acid right where the Heavy is standing and he hops around as the acid burns through his feet. “GREEN PUDDLE BAD” he shouts as a warning his team. The Medic, who had been healing the Soldier from his wounds, is bowled off his feet by a Charger and carried away from the main group. The Sniper tries to shoot it but he is mobbed by other infected who prevent him from taking the shot. The Charger slams the Medic into a wall and starts bashing him into the ground. His cries for help get weaker and weaker and his fellow mercenaries are too hemmed in by Infected to help. Just when he is about to give up hope the air behind the Charger starts to shimmer and the Spy appears. He stabs the infected once in the back, killing it instantly and freeing the Medic. He grabs his outstretched hand and helps him up before disappearing again. Re-Joining his teammates, they are able to eventually fight off the horde, the final few infected being gunned down in a hail of Mini-Gun bullets. With the coast clear the Engineer plops the Dispenser down and the others all refill their weapons while the Medic heals any wounds they had.

“I thought you said that virus was supposed to make those things weaker, Doc?” The Engineer asks.

“I thought it did. Looks as if maybe the virus has evolved and got stronger since I studied it. That makes it even more important that we get to the airfield as soon as possible. Scout I think you should be a bit more careful in future.”

“Oh yeah of course blame me, the guy sticking his neck to make sure the way is safe for you guys,” Scout says. “See how you like being on your own in a city full of zombies.”

“Well from now on try not to fight any infected unless you need to, just come back and warn us so we can be ready.”

“Sure thing Doc.”

“Also, Sniper, are you able to check for any infected using your rifle?”

“Not really Doc. This city is too crowded and I can’t get a good sight line. If there was some vantage point, I could use then maybe I could.”

“Don’t worry Sniper, I can help you with that,” Soldier says and grabs the Sniper round the waist. Firing a rocket at his feet, he launches the pair of them towards a building. Rocket jumping up the side of it, they reach the top and Soldier puts the Sniper down. “You can survey the area from up here.”

“I wish you’d warn me before you do that,” Sniper says grumpily. The Soldier hands him a walkie talkie before he jumps back down to re-joins the other, minus Scout who’d left to continue scouting. The Sniper holds the scope up to his eye and checks the area, seeing a small horde of infected the next street over from the team. “The street to your left has a group of those infected in it.” he says into the walkie talkie.

“Rodger that Sniper, we’ll try to avoid them.” From his vantage point the Sniper watches the rest of the team as they carry on further up the road, turning left further down the road to avoid from the Infected. They disappear from his view and he lowers the rifle and starts moving across the rooftops to keep following them, not noticing that he is being watched….


Crouching low, Scout watches as a Hunter prowls across the alley in front of him. It seems to be looking for a place to ambush from and eventually settles for a darkened doorway leading into one of the buildings. Moving carefully to avoid making any noise, he backs out of the alleyway slowly. He checks down another alleyway which apart from a couple of infected is clear. Nodding to himself the Scout is about to go back and advise the group when his ears pick up the sound of faint sobbing. Curious, he follows the noise until he finds himself stood at the door to a house. Opening the door, he steps inside and through into the living room where the source of the noise is. There is a woman sat on the floor, back to him, sobbing to herself.

“Are you okay there lady?” Scout asks but the woman doesn’t respond she just keeps on crying. “It’s okay I can help you,” Scout says moving closer. “Whatever’s upset you we need to get you out of this city, it ain’t safe here.” He puts his hand on her shoulder softly and her head whips around, her sobbing ceasing and turning into an angry growl. “Jesus Christ what the hell,” he says in horror at her dagger like teeth and blazing red eyes. She swipes at him with her claws and he just about ducks out of the way. Raising his Scattergun, he blasts her right in the chest but it doesn’t even stagger her and she comes for him again.

Dodging another swipe, he runs out of the house and she gives chase and despite his famed speed she is slowly gaining on him. Rounding the corner, he is relieved to see the rest of the Mercs and shouts out in warning. “Guys, there’s this crazy bitch chasing after me.” The Witch storms round the corner after him and the Pyro steps forward to fend her off. A compression blast does nothing to slow her down and a burst of flames only seems to anger her more. Completely ignoring the Pyro, she continues to home in on the Scout and the Heavy and Soldier step in the way to block her off. The Heavy revs up his minigun but before he can fire, she barges past him, knocking him to the ground with her strength. The Soldier fires a rocket at her and this does seem to have an effect but it only staggers her momentarily and lashing out with a swipe, she knock him down too.

She pounces on the Scout and he screams as she starts to tear into him. The Demoman fires off a grenade which hits and staggers her again. Switching to his sword and shield he barges into her making her target him instead. She claws wildly at the targe but it doesn’t have much effect and with a swing of his sword, he separates her head from his body. The Medic rushes over with his medi-gun and fixes it onto the Scout but after a few seconds he shakes his head sadly. “I was too slow,” he says, “He’s dead.” Before they can really process what has happened the walkie talkie crackles into life again.

“Watch out you’ve got trouble heading your way.”

“More infected?” Soldier asks.

“Well not more per say. It’s only one. But he’s a big mean looking bastard.” Just as he says this a car goes flying across the next street. A gigantic muscle bound infected bounds into view, turning it’s gaze on the group of mercenaries before charging at them with a roar.


Safely up on top of the building, the Sniper watches as the Tank attacks. All the Mercs concentrate their fire on it, apart from the Medic who is healing and the Spy, who has once again disappeared. The Tank slams a fist into the Soldier, knocking him aside and goes for the Heavy who jams the Mini-Gun in its face and opens fire. Roaring in pain as the bullets rip into him, the Tank backs up and is driven back further by flames from the Pyro’s flamethrower. It tears up a slab of concrete from the ground and hurls it at the group, who all throw themselves to the side to avoid it. However, the Engineer, whose had been hanging at the back, doesn’t see it until too late and it crashes into him, the dispenser he was lugging about dropping to the floor and breaking.

Sensing a vulnerable target, the Tank homes in on Engie, who shuffles on his back feebly to try and get away. As before the Spy materialises behind the Tank and plunges his knife into its back but this time rather than killing it, all it seems to do is anger the Tank more. It backhands the Spy in the face and he smashes into a nearby wall. The Sniper raises his rifle to shoot it in the head but before he can his rifle is yanked from his grip. Spinning around he sees a tall infected with a severe growths all over its arm and neck. Grabbing his SMG, he fires of a burst of rounds and it explodes, emitting a thick gas.

He coughs and splutters and this distraction is enough for a Jockey to leap onto him. It drags him towards the edge of the building and then, with one more heave, drags him completely off the ledge. Crashing into the ground below, he cries out as he feels his legs snapping underneath him as the Jockey hops away, cackling to itself. He drags himself towards his SMG, hoping to use it to defend himself until the Medic arrives but he feels the ground begin to rumble. Looking up he sees the Tank looming over him. “Bloody Hell,” are his last words as it mashes his skull into the concrete with its fist.


Meanwhile the Medic starts healing up his injured comrades as the Tank wheels around for another attack. Engine throws down a mini-sentry and it assembles quickly, spitting out rounds at the Tank. It makes a beeline for the building, buying the Medic more time. His next port of call is the Spy whose shattered spine is quickly healed by the Medi-Gun’s healing beam. “That is the last time I try and help gentlemen,” Spy says annoyed. The Medic hears the medi-gun crackle and looks down to see the ubercharge meter is filled.

“Heavy! I’m fully charged.”

“Charge me Doctor!” Heavy says and as the ubercharge overflows him, he advances with his minigun firing. The Tank, having smashed the mini-sentry into pieces, barrels towards him and as he gets close the Heavy hears a dreaded noise, the clicking that signifies he’s out of ammo. With the Tank so close he considers going for his shotgun but instead lets out a roar of defiance and throws himself at the infected, grappling with it with his bare hands. The pair match each other for strength as they thump blows into each other and the rest of RED Team help out the Heavy by firing explosives and bullets into the Tank. Having sustained too many injures the Tank let’s out one more growl before crumpling to the ground, just as the ubercharge wears off. “Hmph. This one not baby,” Heavy says cracking his knuckles.

“What the bloody hell was that thing,” the Demoman says.

“Whatever it is, I hope we don’t run into another one,” says the Spy.

“Well if we do at least we’ll be better prepared this time,” Medic says. “Engie, I think we’ll all need to refill our ammo.”

“Well that’s where we might have a problem doc. That big son of a bitch destroyed by dispenser when he hit me with that rock. I had to use the last of my metal to make that mini-sentry.”

“No more ammo?!” Soldier says worriedly. “How are we supposed to get out of this place alive? We’re already down two men.” At the mention of their fallen comrades a grim silence descends on the group. Sure, Scout was an annoying little shit most of the time and Sniper was gruff and distant but they were still a part of the team. Their quiet reflection is interrupted by the muffled speaking of the Pyro, who is pointing excitedly to a busted open window.

“What is it Pyro?” The Soldier says going over to check what the fuss is about. He looks through the window and a big smile comes across his face.

“It’s a gun shop men,” he says excitedly. The rest of the team rush over to find stacks and stacks of guns and, more importantly, hundreds of boxes of ammo.

“I could get some more metal supplies out of these guns,” Engineer says, grabbing a handful of them and setting to work crafting them into usable supplies. Everyone else stocks up on ammo, Heavy grabbing some Mini-Gun bullets from a crate, Soldier and Demoman finding grenades and rockets in the back storeroom and Pyro snatching up some more fuel for his flamethrower. Even Spy, who has barely used his revolver, drops a spare case of bullets into his pocket. Engineer finishes crafting some spare metal and addresses the team.

“From now on we’re going to have to be a bit more careful in regard to our ammo usage. I can’t keep making dispensers for ya’ll and I’d like to keep my supplies for when we need them. Ya’ll got that?” The rest of the Mercs nod their heads “The airfield is only a couple of miles away now, so we should be able to manage on the ammo we’ve got until then. Ya’ll ready?” Again, the Mercs all nod and continue their journey.


After about half an hour of further walking, the remainder of RED Team finally come across the airfield. Luckily, they managed to avoid any major infected encounters, only a few small groups of regular infected and the occasional special infected. They survey the area, which is mostly flat ground with a small air hanger off to the side of the main runway. Engineer plops a teleporter exit down on the runway. “If I set up a Teleporter, the chopper can use it as a visual for where it’s safe to land,” he explains. “I’ll just get in contact with headquarters to let them know we’ve arrived and find out how long till they can pick us up.”

“While you do that, we’ll go and check out that hanger,” Medic says. Leaving the Engineer to his work the others wander over to the hanger. The inside is mostly empty, apart from a fuel tank in the far corner. As they walk through the hanger entrance a Hunter leaps out, seemingly from nowhere. Panicking the Pyro swings his flamethrower around wildly setting the Hunter on fire. This barely deters it and it leaps on top of them, ready to tear into their stomach before a rocket blows it to kingdom come. However, the flames have triggered the fire alarm and a shrill screeching sound pierces the air. The Engineer comes rushing in.

“What the heck are you guys doing?”

“Pyro set off the alarm fighting one of those hoodie wearing sons of bitches,” Soldier explains.

“Aw hell. Well get that alarm turned off quick.” He looks up at the alarm and roughly judging where the wire for the power system is, takes out his shotgun and fires at the ceiling. After a few shots the alarm abruptly cuts out.

“Danke Engineer,” Medic says.

“Don’t start thanking me yet Doc. That alarm will have attracted the attention of just about every infected in this city. We’re going to have to hunker down in here and try to fend them off.” Engie puts down a dispenser in the corner furthest from the hanger door before putting down the entrance for the teleporter down right by the entrance. Once the dispenser is up he starts work building up the levels on both buildings.

“While Engineer sets up, we should make a perimeter to keep his buildings safe. Soldier, Pyro, Demoman and Heavy you four will be the main line of defence. Try and keep the Infected in front of you, don’t be afraid to back up if you think they might be about to overwhelm you. I’ll keep you all healed up; if and when I get an ubercharge we’ll use it to push out. Spy, you can…” He looks around but Spy is nowhere to be seen. “Typical Spy,” he says sighing. “Everybody understand.” The Mercs all nod in agreement. “Good. Are you ready Engineer?” Medic asks.

“Dispenser is fully levelled up,” he replies. He plops a mini-sentry down a little bit in front of his dispenser to cover him and his buildings. “That Chopper will be here in 20 minutes, so we’re going to have to hold them off until then.” The sound running footsteps comes the from the distance, slowly getting louder and louder as a horde of zombies appears from the city. “Here they come,” Heavy says. As the first of them cross the hanger entrance, the Demoman detonates the sticky bombs he had set up in preparation, exploding the infected into a shower of body parts and blood. They are quickly replaced by more infected however they are mown down in a hail of minigun bullets, rockets and grenades. Still they continue to stream mindlessly into the slaughter and it’s not long before the Heavy is out of ammo. “Getting spare ammo from dispenser” he warns the others. The Pyro steps forward and uses his compression blast to push the Infected into the paths of the fire of his teammates, covering the Heavy’s absence until he returns with a full clip of ammo.

This continues for a while; every time one of them needs to collect some more ammo the others step in to fill their gap until they return. Any Infected that does somehow manage to get through the bullets, explosives and flames is quickly gunned down by the Mini-Sentry. Suddenly a Charger appears, barging through the horde and smashing into the Demoman, dragging him into the far hanger wall and starting to pummel him. He tries to pull out his sword to defend himself but it is pressed into his body by the Charger’s hand and he can’t get it loose. The Mini-Sentry fires a steady stream of bullets into the creature but it doesn’t seem to slow it down in the slightest. Engineer advances on the pair, firing shotgun blasts into the Charger’s back to add to the fire power from his sentry and eventually it releases it’s grip on the Demoman and slumps down dead.

“Medic!” He shouts and the German doctor turns his medi-beam on the Demoman as the Engineer lifts him to his feet. Once he is restored to full health, he gives a thumbs up to the Medic and slaps the Engineer roughly on the shoulder before re-joining the fight. The horde is almost whittled down now with only a few dozen Infected coming through the hanger entrance now. Engie’s PDA starts beeping at him, indicating that the teleporter has been damaged. With the horde now thinning out he rushes over to the teleporter entrance and begins repairing it. No matter how much he tries the beeping continues and he realises that something is damaging it from the other end.

“What’s wrong?” Spy asks appearing behind him.

“Something is damaging the teleporter from the exit end,” Engie says. “Could you go over there and stop whatever the heck is doing it.”

“Me?!” Spy say indignant. “I’m an assassin not an errand boy.”

“Look here mister, if we don’t keep this teleporter up the helicopter ain’t gonna know where to land. It also means we won’t be able to evacuate this place as quickly when it does come. So, for the love of god go and kill whatever SON OF A BITCH IS ON THE OTHER SIDE,” Engineer says finally losing his temper. Spy looks momentarily surprised at the outburst before shrugging his shoulders. He uses his disguise kit to disguise himself as a common infected, slipping past the last stragglers coming into the hanger and goes over to the teleport entrance. A small group of five infected are kicking at the building, obviously attracted to the flashing light. Walking up behind them, he takes out his butter knife and stabs the nearest one in the back, dropping his disguise. He dispatches three more the same way and as the fifth turns snarling, he presses his revolver to its head and blows its brains out.

The problem dealt with the Spy strikes a cigar but stops before he can take a puff as the ground begins to rumble. “Screw that,” he says as a Tank comes charging across the airfield and goes invisible. The Tank barely seems to register this, nor the big glowing teleporter and heads right for the Hanger. At the sight of the infected the Mercs spread out more, not wanting to cluster together and give it an easy target. Instinctively the Tank goes for the biggest target, the Heavy, and it slams a fist into him sending him flying back. Moving in to attack him again it let’s out a roar of both surprise and pain as it feels something sharp slide into it’s back. It wheels around to find the Demoman grinning insanely, his Eyelander buried in its back.

“Charge me up doc,” he says and Medic activates the ubercharge. Dodging around the Tank’s attacks he starts laying down sticky bombs around it. Once he has laid down all eight, he detonates them, blowing the Tank to kingdom come and launching him into the air. The ubercharge protects him from the explosive damage as well as any fall damage when he lands flat on his ass. Getting to his feet chuckling drunkenly he exclaims “Oh they’re going to have to glue you back together… IN HELL.”

“Do you think that’s all of them?” Medic asks, just as the sound of snarling and growling fills the air. “Clearly not,” Soldier replies and the Mercs ready themselves for battle again, after refilling their ammo from the dispenser of course. Now that they’ve gotten used to the Infected attack patterns the second wave of them is much easier for them to handle. However, this time the Special Infected arrive in greater numbers. A pair of Spitters fire globs of acid at the tightly packed Mercs, forcing them to spread out and giving the infected gaps to rush into. Another glob of acid lands next to the dispenser, eating away at it. The Engineer hops across the acid, lifting the dispenser over his head and carrying it to safety. “Dispenser movin’ up” he says, placing it down closer to where his teammates are fighting. A Smoker snatches the Soldier’s rocket launcher from him, dragging it into the undead crowd.

“Damn it. Men, I need my rocket launcher back.” Shouting wildly, he draws his shotgun and walks straight into the infected, blasting them aside. The Engineer picks up his sentry, which he had rebuilt before the second horde came, and places it in the gap left by the Soldier to keep the Infected at bay. Battling his way to the middle of the horde the Soldier comes across the Smoker who is trying to escape while his tongue recharges. Blasting him into bits, he retrieves his rocket launcher and rocket jumps away out of the crowd and back to his team. A couple of Boomers who were in the crowd explode under the gunfire, the bile they spewed attracting even more of the infected. A jockey, which has managed to sneak behind the Mercs leaps on the Medic.

“Help me,” he cries out as the Jockey drags him away. Responding to his healer’s cries for help the Pyro fires a compression blast which knocks the Jockey off the Medic, before frying it to a crisp. With the special infected’s assault over, the remaining normal infected are easily dealt with. As the last infected falls dead to the floor, the now familiar rumbling that signifies the approach of a Tank sounds. Like the previous one it goes for the Heavy first but this time the Mercs are ready and the Demoman has placed some sticky bombs down. The explosion from them sends the Tank reeling and they all concentrate their fire on it, manging to kill it before it can recover and attack again.

As the Mercs all stop to catch their breath the sound of a helicopter approaching sounds. They all rush to the entrance, watching as a cargo helicopter with ‘Reliable Excavation Demolition’ written across it carefully touches down next to the teleporter exit. “That’s our ticket out of here boys,” the Engineer says cheerfully. He uses his PDA to destroy the Dispenser, collecting the scrap metal from it before picking up the mini-sentry and heading to the teleporter. “I’m going to set down the Sentry to cover us, ya’ll remember your teleporter etiquette now.” As he says this he steps into the glowing light and exits right next to the helicopter.

Placing down the sentry by the ramp leading into it, he hears the sound of Infected approaching. Looking around he can see thousands and thousands of them, pouring out of the city and heading right for the airfield. “Guys you’ve got to get a darn move on,” he says to himself. The first one through the teleporter is the Heavy, who instantly revs his Mini-Gun up ready for any zombies that come near. Out of the hanger entrance comes the Medic and Soldier, both glowing red from the ubercharge that the Medic had been saving. A few of the faster infected are starting to get near to the helicopter but they are taken out by the Mini-Sentry and just as the Soldier and Medic arrive the Demoman appears through the teleporter.

“Come on Pyro, once you’re here we can all get outta this hellhole,” Engineer says. Suddenly a Charger rushes across the hanger entrance, carrying the Pyro in it’s grasp. “Dang,” Engie says in shock. Pyro somehow manages to free their fire axe and slams it repeatedly into the Charger, eventually managing to free himself. Just at that moment a Hunter appears and before they can react it rakes its claws across their belly, spilling their guts onto the ground. Pyro manages to muster up enough strength to bury the axe into the infected’s head before hurling the axe into the distance and dropping to their knees, grasping weakly at their entrails as they spill out. Cracks begin to appear in the back of the hanger before not one, but two Tanks bust through it, a horde of regular infected following in their path.

“Must save little Pyro,” Heavy says stepping forward but the Medic puts a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

“No Kamerad. We’ll never be able to get to them in time. The best thing we can do for them now is get out of this alive. Honour them that way.” Heavy does not look happy with the decision but he nods his head solemnly.

“What about Spy,” he asks.

“Right behind you,” comes the reply. The Mercs all turn to see that the Spy is already sitting in the helicopter, smoking a cigar. Heavy looks back once more at the Pyro, who is fumbling about with their gas mask. They pull it off, looking straight at the infected approaching them and raising their hand, which has the flare gun held in it. They fire off a shot, but rather than heading towards the infected it arcs over them and the rest of RED Team watch as it arcs towards the fuel tank. They suddenly realise the Pyro’s fire axe, which they threw earlier, had buried itself into the fuel tank and fuel was now leaking out. As the flare gun connects with the tank the fuel ignites, engulfing the hanger, the Pyro and all the Infected inside in a fiery explosion.

The remaining members of RED Team all board the helicopter and the Soldier bangs on the dividing glass window between the cargo hold and the cockpit. “We’re all on board now. Get us out of here,” he orders and the pilot closes up the hatch to the cargo hold and there is a loud bang as an infected runs straight into it. Slowly, the Helicopter rises into the air, leaving the Infected below howling and snarling in frustration at their prey having escaped. On board the Mercs all sit catching their breath, exhausted from their battles. All that is expect for Spy who looks positively well rested.

“Well Gentlemen, that went pretty well I think.”

“Pretty well?!” Engineer says confused. “Spy, we just lost a third of our team back there.”

“Nobody who will be missed,” comes Spy’s retort. “At least we made it out alive.”

“No thanks to you yah skulking’ little snake,” Demoman says. “I didn’t see you doing much fighting back there.”

“I use my many talents when they are needed,” Spy says. “It just so happens my talents weren’t best suited to this particular mission.”

“Yes well, that was apparent,” Medic says sarcastically. Heavy meanwhile is sat stroking his Mini-Gun deep in thought.

“We will honour dead later,” he says quietly. He looks out of the window at the city passing below them and a sense of pride that they managed to escape such a hell hole is the only consolation, on a day of death and destruction.

Winner: RED Team

Expert's Opinion[]

The voters agreed that RED Team would emerge victorious in this battle, albeit with a few casualties. This was largely down to their wealth of experience against the supernatural, as well as against robots and other mercenaries, which helped them to adapt quickly to the threat the infected posed. They also worked excellently as a team, knowing each other’s strengths and weaknesses and complementing each other well because of it. As for the reasons each member died or survived;

Starting with those who died, the Scout had a good damage dealing weapon in the Scattergun but his role in the team involved him working solo most of the time and this made him easy prey for the Special Infected because of his physical weakness and this also left him vulnerable to being overrun by big hordes. The Pyro meanwhile suffered from having a lack of effective weaponry; his flare gun didn’t do enough damage and the flamethrower was much too close range and if anything, the flames only served to attract more infected to him. Finally, the Sniper who was just not suited to this scenario at all. Being constantly on the move meant his sniping options were limited and his inability to really defend himself in close range meant he was vulnerable to ambushes or being overwhelmed by hordes.

Now we move onto the survivors. Solider and Demoman survived for the same reason, they both had weapons which did lots of damage very quickly which enabled them to take out big hordes and special infected without much trouble. Heavy also had a highly effective weapon in the Mini-Gun and while his slow movement speed made him an obvious target, he was covered by his team well. Engineer and Medic were poor combatants but they survived because of the great support they provided to their teammates, buildings in the case of the Engineer and healing in the case of the Medic. This meant the rest of the team was inclined to protect them and cover for their lacklustre combat abilities. Spy had similar problems to Scout and Sniper, in that his loadout wasn’t very effective against the undead and he was liable to be overwhelmed but he managed to survive because of his disguise kit and invisibility watch, which allowed him to simply avoid fighting altogether.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Battle vs. Overwatch (by LB&SCR)[]

No battle will be written.

WINNER: TIE

Expert's Opinion[]

No opinion was written.

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Rematch vs. Overwatch (by Appelmonkey)[]

TBW

Expert's Opinion[]

TBW

To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here.

Rematch Information[]

The battle was accidentally rematched. A retroactive rematch request was passed.

Edit Section

Battles here were deemed to be unfair or otherwise not in accordance with wiki standards, and have been removed from the statuses of the warriors and displayed below.

Battle vs. Expendables (by BeastMan14)[]

The Expendables Bluex9

RED Team Redx9

6 months after the events of The Expendables...

Ross, Trent, and Church all meet in their usual place.

"What do you got for me?" asks Ross.

"Rival team of mercs, RED's, you ever heard of em?" Church replies.

"Bunch of pyschos, that's what I've heard." Trent says.

"Well,they're moving in on a spot the government doesn't want them to. You cut em off with a little help, and you get paid." Church calmly says.

"Who's my backup and what's the pay?" Ross, intrigued, asked.

"Trent here volunteered to split the pay, plus you can bring Tool and that new kid of your's, what's his name, Billy, right? The pay? 3 mill for your team, half for Trent." Church answered.

"You got yourself a deal." Ross held out his hand and Church shook it.

At the base...

The RED Team was bored out of their mind, as nothing had happened since they killed the BLUs in charge of this base.

Suddenly, a chopper appeared on the horizon and Soldier cried,"Alright maggots, lets move!" and pulled out his rocket launcher.

The Expendables landed and a group consisting of Gunnar, Trent, Toll Road, and Caesar went on to scout ahead, while Billy laid down sniper cover. Meanwhile, the Engineer had begun setting up defenses and was being guarded by DemoMan, Heavy, and Medic.

"I got something, Billy, want to lay down a distraction?" Toll Road said into Comms. "Hell yeah." Billy replied then took aim.

Suddenly, a sniper shot rang out, destroying a sentry. "MAH sentrys down!" cried the Engineer as he ran to repair it. "Hello." Trent said as he stood over the ruins of the destroyed sentry. The Engineer pulled out his pistol, but he was blown to bits before he could use it. Redx8

Enraged, the Heavy cried,"No one kills Engy on my vatch!", then lets the medic uber-charge him. Gunnar, Ceaser, Trent, and Toll retreat under heavy fire, while Billy fires shot after shot at the Heavy, who laughs them off.

Suddenly, DemoMan fires a grenade shot, sending Toll flying. He hits he ground hard, and looks up to see the Pyro staring at him. With an evil laugh, the Pyro quickly torches Toll Road, then finishes him off with an axe. Bluex8

"Toll Road!" Ceaser cried, then he opened fire with his AA-12.

One shot hits the Heavy, who laughs, then another hits the DemoMan, who was in the middle of a shot of whiskey. He is killed instantly. Redx7

Meanwhile, in the below ground levels, Yang is scouting around and talking to Ross through comms, when a baseball bat hits him over the head. "Bonk!" The Scout cries as he hits Yang again and is kicked away.

He draws his Force-a-Nature and charges Yang, who dodges the shot and finishes him off with FN F2000. "Yang, I heard gunshots. You okay?" "I'm fine," says Yang, "There was a member of that team here, but I think he's the only I one." Suddenly, the spy comes out of camo and backstabs Yang. "So you think..." The spy whispered as he shifted into Yang. Redx6 Bluex7

The Heavy charged onto the Expendables as their bullets did nothing, when Tool saw the Medic and got an idea. Grabbing his knives, he ran around the Heavy and threw his knife at the Medic, who dodged to get out of the way. However, this left him without the cover of the Heavy, and he was killed by the combined fire of Tool's MRD and Billy's Sniper Rifle. Redx5

The Heavy, enraged at the death of Medic, tackles Tool and begins savagely punching him. Suddenly, an M79 shot from Gunnar hit Heavy in the shoulder.

Annoyed, he shouted, "You may outsmart me, but you'll never outsmart bullet!" Then started firing, riddling Gunnar with bullets and sending the Expendables running into the underground part of the base. Bluex6

Billy begins loading up his sniper station, and heads for the base when a sniper shot sends him scrambling for cover. "G'day!" The sniper shouts as he moves in.

"Sh*t." Mutters Billy.

The Sniper slowly walked over to where he last Billy, Kukri at the ready.

Suddenly, Billy leaps out of cover and fires his Barrett M107, hitting the sniper in the leg.

The Sniper returns fire and hits Billy in the arm, forcing him to drop his rifle and pull out his combat knife. He lunges and stabs the sniper in the arm, but the sniper switches to his Kukri and stabs Billy through the chest, a fatal wound.

As Billy dies, the Sniper takes his hat off and says,"Nothing personal." Bluex5

Meanwhile, in the underground bunker, Barney, Tool, Trent, Christmas, and Ceaser are pinned down by the Heavy and Soldier while Pyro had vanished, worrying both teams.

Suddenly, Ross sees a way around the Heavy and gestures to it so Ceaser can follow him. As Tool, Christmas and Trent lay down cover fire, Ross runs down the hallway and takes a left, leading to the Heavy's left flank.

"Hey chuckles!" Ceaser yells as he shoots the Heavy drawing his attention as Barney throws his grenade that lands at the Heavy's feet. "Uh oh." says the Heavy as he is blown to bits. Redx4

Suddenly, Yang comes out of nowhere and kicks the soldier into a wall, but the Soldier hits him across the face with the shovel and runs off.

"Hey, Yang, you okay?" asks Ceaser as he helps Yang up. "Yeah... Perfect." suddenly Yang shimmers away, revealing the Spy, who tries to stab Ceaser in the chest but suddenly, a throwing knife soars through the air and hits him in the head killing him. Christmas walked over and calmly pulled out his knife. Redx3

"Ok, I think we're good." said an out of breath Ross as Ceaser shot the spy's corpse for good measure. "That's what you think, chaaaarge!" cried the Soldier as he fired a rocket that blows up Ceaser and sent the rest of the team flying. Bluex4

Suddenly, as the team scrambled for cover, Sniper and Pyro came around the corner and opened fire on the surprised Expendables. The sniper shot got Tool through the chest and knocked him down, but the fire fell just short. The pyro switched to his axe and charged at the Team but Trent shoots them, killing them instantly. Redx2

Barney picked up Tool and carried him over his shoulder to a safer spot, as Christmas and Trent layed down cover fire. Trent shouted,"Go! I'll handle these clowns!" He and Christmas shook hands and then split up.

Sniper fired shot after shot as Trent moved from cover to cover and then got close enough to return fire, hitting the Sniper and knocking back. Before he can fire again, Sniper got up and threw his Kukri, hitting Trent in the chest and seemingly killing him.

As Sniper pulled himself up and walked over to get his Kukri, Trent stood up and shot Sniper in the face, killing him. Redx1

As Trent stands up, suddenly a shotgun blast hits him in the chest. Trent whips around, badly injured and returns fire hitting soldier in the leg. As he attempts to stand, Soldier fires off a shot and kills Trent. Badly bleeding, the Soldier shouts,"Medic! Oh. Right." Bluex3

As the Ross and Tool find a good spot to rest, Tool says,"This is the end, my friend." "No! Stay with me." Barney shouted as Tool began to bleed out. "Do you think the woman I saw...(cough)... forgives me? (cough)" Tool asks. "Yeah, she does. Rest well." Barney replies as Tool dies in his arms. Bluex2

Enraged, Ross stood up to see Christmas, who asks,"Now what?" With anger in his voice, Ross replied,"We finish this for Tool and everyone else on our team."

The Soldier limped into the middle of the base to find a case of Intel waiting for him. "Well I'll be damned!" shouts the Soldier just before a barrage of gunfire comes flying at him. The Soldier cocks his shotgun and takes cover.

Christmas walks into the the room looking for the Soldier when he jumps out of cover and hits Christmas in the back with the shovel. He whips around and kicks the Solider in the stomach, giving him time to pull out his knives. He charges at the soldier who shouts,"Knives to a gunfight? Hah!" then pulls out his shotgun.

The Soldier hit Christmas in the face with the shotgun and prepared to finish him off, when a gunshot went off and the soldier fell to the ground, dead. Redx0

Ross walked over the Soldiers body and helped Christmas up. "Well that could have gone better." said Christmas as he wiped the blood off his shirt.

"Could have gone worse." chuckled Ross as he grabbed the intel and he and Christmas headed for the chopper.

Winner: The Expendables

Experts' Opinions[]

TBW

To see the original battle, weapons and votes, click here.

Reason[]

The battle was declared unfair for the Expendables because of the RED Team's overwhelming firepower and superhuman physicality.

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