ALL COMIC BOOK FANS WELCOME!! Its brains vs brawns between two of the greatest occult detectives who ever lived. Hellboy, The World's Greatest Paranormal Investigator, bringer of the apocalypse and demon turned protector of the living world, goes up against John Constantine, Hellblazer, the World's Greatest Con Man who scammed the whole universe by simply existing. Two demon slayers go head to head in a battle between street smarts, brawls, and attitude. Hellboy's strength, durability, and ferocity, against Constantine's cunning, deceptions, and magic. A battle between two of the greatest foes of the occult world to find out who is...
THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!!!
Hellboy's superhuman abilities would seem to stem from his demonic nature. While his specific powers and abilities have never been explicitly listed, Hellboy is much stronger and more physically durable than any ordinary human.
- Regenerative Healing Factor: Hellboy also possesses a "healing factor" that allows him to recover from wounds at an incredible rate and quickly heal from fatal wounds. He can survive a sword thrust and a spear blow through his chest. In the movies, he is depicted as being fireproof, but in the comics he can still burn; however his accelerated healing may still give off the illusion of being immune to fire.
- Enhanced sight: Hellboy has been noted to be able to see farther than the average human
- Superhuman Durability: The tissues of his body are much harder and more resistant to injury than those of an ordinary human. As a result, he can withstand great impact forces, high caliber bullets, exposure to extremes of both temperature and falls from great heights. He has been savagely beaten by large monsters such as werewolves, zombies, and vampires on several occasions and survived, often with relatively minor injuries. On one occasion, Hellboy directly charged an MG-42 machine gun and took numerous bullets to the chest before destroying the gun. On another, he was impaled by a massive spearhead through the chest, but smashed the handle and charged the attacker, leaving the spearhead buried in the tree behind him.
- Superhuman Strength: The extent of Hellboy's strength is unclear, but he has, for example, tore down a large tree and hurled it at an opponent. He has also thrown opponents weighing at least four to five hundred pounds.
- Superhuman Agility: Hellboy can jump and freerun through high places, and is fast enough to dodge attacks.
- Hand to hand Combatant: He is trained in various forms of combat. In the graphic novel "House of the Living Dead", Hellboy knows how to wrestle, and even used his fighting skills in a professional wrestling match with a vampire luchador and a zombie wrestler. It should be noted though that Hellboy is, by his own admission, a lousy shot; he prefers to “mix it up” in hand-to-hand combat whenever possible. He is also a trained swordsman.
- Close - The Right Hand of Doom: A fist made out of durable stone, Hellboy uses it in fighting his enemies, often pummeling and beating them up. It is also the key to the end of the world. And though he can't use it to fire guns, it has proven flexible enough to catch a fly.
- Mid - Excalibur: A longsword in Arthurian Legend. Wielding this sword marks him as the rightful King of England, and will allow him to lead an army of England's noble dead.
- Long - Good Samaritan: A four round oversized revolver. The large rounds it uses can easily penetrate most materials and has a variety of bullets such as garlic, Irish church bell fragments, clovers, and cold iron. Hellboy uses his left hand to fire the weapon as his right hand of doom makes it unable to be hold.
- Armor- Longcoat: Hellboy is almost always seen wearing a large and heavy jacket that reaches well below his knees. The pockets of this jacket are typically filled with many of the charms and totems, granting him greater paranormal protection. His jacket has been heavily damaged many times, yet it always shows up repaired with each new story. He also keeps items in his belt.
- Special - Grenades: Hellboy carries different explosives such as frags and smokes. His grenades are strong enough to kill supernatural creatures, such as his battle with a vampire in prague.
- Superhuman Physicality: Hellboy being a demon is gifted with superhuman strength, speed, and durability. Making him more powerful than the strongest human.
- Training: Hellboy is trained through various forms of combat with natural and supernatural enemies. He also had military training.
- Experience: Hellboy existed since the 40s. And throughout the years earned experience in fighting.
- Hellboy is a lousy shot with firearms.
- He is gruff, sometimes stubborn, and hotheaded at times.
- He can be affected by a few magical attacks, and has problems dealing with ghosts and spirits physically.
John's powers comes from his occult knowledge. His magical prowess varies from time to time, probably because of the many different writers doing whatever they want with him.
Examples of John Constantine magic:
- Cursing: John can put a curse on his enemies, some relatively harmless, while others are dangerous. Like the time where he cursed a bunch of cold inmates into a catatonic state. Or making his father wither and waste away. His curses are strong enough to affect demons.
- Spells: John knows a variety of spells he can use to get him out of tight situations. He has spells that can immbolize, seal, and destroy demons, elementals, and gods.
- Spirit Ward Creation: Use sigils to make him undetectable by supernatural means, and sigils that he can use to ward off demons and other supernatural creatures.
- Magic circles: Powerful defensive circles which he writes in a wall or the floor that protects him both from supernatural and physical attacks.
- Realm travel: Constantine can open portals to places like Heaven, Hell, Limbo, or the Green. Constantine can even open a portal through time that allows him to time travel. He can also send his enemies to Hell.
- Evocation: John can summon ghosts, the undead, or demons. He can summon soulstorms to attack his foes.
- Pyrokinesis: Conjure fire or hellfire for various means such as attacking his enemies, oftentimes from his lighter or ciggarette.
- Illusions: Conjure illusions to trick and confuse his opponents.
- Mind Control: Constantine's mind magic involves hypnotism, occlumency, and brainwashing. Like erasing someone's memories, or like when he brainwashed a whole maximum state prison to riot just for them to bring him a ciggarette.
- Invisibility: Using magic to make him invisible and undetectable.
- Stage Magic Skills: John is exhibited considerable mastery in stage magic like slight of hand, pickpocketing, hypnotism, and escapology
- Sychronicity Wave Travelling: A natural born magic in every Laughing Magician. It allows John to make his own luck, jinx his opponents, protect him from danger and harm, track down people, enemy attacks to miss, and reshape the battle to his own accord.
- Close - Trenchcoat: John's trenchcoat protects him and is durable enough to withstand his battles. It is also sentient and contains its own demonic powers, and cane perform tasks like strangling people, mind controlling its victims to become violent, and cursing those who wore it aside from Constantine and his friends.
- Mid - Twin Blade: A 3-4 feet long short sword. The blade was forged from the remains of the two fallen Lords of Hell. And can cause instant death to those it wounds. It is strong enough to kill omnipotent being such as Satan aka The First of the Fallen.
- Long - Webley Revolver: 6 shot british revolver that he used during his battle with the Family Man. Though not keen in using firearms, John is a capable marksman when he needs to be.
- Armor - Magical Tattoes: John has sigils drawn and written all over his body that protects him from magical attacks, and prevents supernatural creatures such as demons from touching him. Though it doesn't protect him from physical attacks.
- Special - Demon blood: Blood transfused to him by the demon god Nergal. Demon blood has healing properties that John can use. It is dangerous when consumed by the victim as it is highly poisonous and corrosive dangerous even to supernatural creatures such as the King of the Vampires. When weaponized, it can mind control people into mindless slaves.
- Arcane Knowledge: John is self taught in magic and occult. He had years of travelling to know his craft. His supernatural knowledge is rivaled by a very few even in the DC Universe
- Cunning: John is the World's Greatest Con Man. John himself has a high IQ rate. He can make the most amazing feats of trickery sometimes in very few preparation. He can trick even the strongest gods and beings in the world. His most craziest feats include scamming and beating the Devil 5 times (and even killing the Devil in the 4th) and blackmailing God.
- Luck: He's a hell of a walking plot device. His luck flows all over him like rain. Probably because of his Sychronicity Wave Travelling.
- Unlike most comic book magicians, Constantine rarely uses magical spells unless he has to, especially in combat. He would rather bluff or talk his opponents first, or outsmart them rather than to outgun them.
- John is just a normal human.
- Has no professional or military training.
- Battle takes place in Somewhere, England
- The Comic Book version of Hellboy will be used, and Hellblazer/Vetigo version to be used for John Constantine. So no guntotting Keanu Reeves exorcist blasting his holy golden/cross shotgun.
- Votes to be counted must be 2 paragraphs long with 4 minimum sentences. Give legit reasons and edges. Any counter arguments can render a vote half.
I know some think of this battle as unfair, lopsided, or not meant to be. But the previous battle was innacurate, and doesn't deserve to be in this wiki. The reason to why I created this rematch is that the previous battle used two seperate characters of Hellboy and John Constantine, which are different from each other. I created this battle to represent a more accurate description, and used the most well known versions. So let's just get it over with and clean this wiki by rematching inaccurate battles we find.
Thank you for all those who made this rematch possible.
Somewhere in the English countryside.
Three witches dance around a boiling pot of refuse. Chanting the great Nimue to give them the vision of what the world is after the Dragon destroys it. They fail miserably, and again dances to see contact with Lady Nimue again. Occupied with their dancing, they didn't notice a blonde man walking towards them from the darkness. His eyes mad with fury, tan trechcoat covering, and a silk cut wrapped in his index. He was John Constantine, and he was there on business.
"You bloody hags never learn do ya?" John said.
The witches were started of Constantine's appearance. They stopped their dancing and back off. "The Constantine...the Laughing Magician!" They hissed.
"Save your biscuits you tossers! You think I didn't know what you bitches were doing?! You think you can just give a stupid sword to some demon and proclaim him the bloody King of England!?" John scolded with anger.
"Constantine! Oh Constantine and your dirty malicious mind! We did this for England! That it may rise up again as they did before,"
John Constantine, kicks the large pot over, and the boiling water was splashed unto one of the witches. She yelled in anguish as her skin is burned and swells. "Idiots! The only ones supposed to succeed Arthur are Rich the Punk and Timothy Hunter. They and nothing else. You gave the bloody excalibur to a stranger! A bloody strager! Youkight as well proclaimed Kanye West or some bum in he streets as the King."
The three witches retracts back to the darkness. They hissed at Constantine with despise. "England must rise. England was once powerful. We had the world. We had an empire. We built the greatest marvels the world ever seen. Every Englisman was royal, special. But now...now we are just peasants licking the arse of America!"
Constantine smokes a heap of smoke, with a serious face and unbreakable stare he said, "Frankly you dumbfucks don't know anything of how this world works nowadays. Shit isn't achieved by cheating, its by sweat and fucking luck. England can stand in its own feet. Let the other countries be what they are." John said as he puts out his ciggie. He walks behind looking over the dark forest, seeming to be in deep thinking and charades. He looks over to the witches, visibly scared of him. "We can't let shit happens. You harlots have no idea of what you may unleash in the world. Seriouly I try to tell myself it ain't my problem. But how can it be when it is there in fron of you flipping you off."
Then suddenly a rustle came in from the forest. Leaves fell down and branches break. Suddenly, a corpse in armor walked towards them. Armed with a claymore it approaches. The withces, seeing this, were terrified of it. They attempt to run, but is blocked by the trees behind them. They have no escape. "Y-You! Please. Mercy on thee please!" They screamed as an approaching demise await.
"Bloooooooooooood!" the armored corpse said as he unseam one witch in the abdomen, releasing her guts to the grass, before beheading her with a slash. One tries to run but is grabbed in the hair, where she is mercilessly butchered and chopped to 50 pieces of flesh. The last one fell on her knees, begging to any gods that may hear, and utters pleas to Lady Nimue, before the corpse raises its claymore and slashes on her forhead, and digs deeper and deeper to the torso until the witch was in two. "Vengeance! Veangeance is miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!" the corpse yelled raising his sword. John Constantine just watches the horror, unfazed and comfortable.
"Ehehe. So it felt good eh? I don't blame you. Must be hard for you that Attila be the one to have killed you," Constantine said while pointing his finger inbetween his eyes.
The corpse looked at him, and limbers away. With his job done, John Constantine walks away from the carnage. Nobody messes with his town. Not even mad hundred years old hags like them. Then as he walked, a gush of wind striked his head. He turns, and sees the Phantom Stranger, with eyes glowing and body floating, looking at him with a blank face. "The bloody hell ya doing?"
"Constantine...we need to talk," the Stranger said.
"Bugger off!" Constantine said with annoyance.
"It is a matter of great importance"
"I said piss off!"
"The whole world is in danger,"
"What do I care? I'm no in the bloody mood. Go to Map, he's the 'London' guardian. Or Hunter, or the rest of the Trenchcoat Brigade. Or what about the fucking Justice League. They can clean your closet. But not me so piss off!"
The Phantom grabs his shoulder with a serious look. "Listen, this event...this event has the attention of what you seek."
John couldn't believe his ears. He suddenly got interested to what the Stanger said. "Excalibur? Where is it."
The Stranger grins. He knew just how Constantine plays out. "Typical John Constantine. You never act if you never benifit. Listen Constantine. Armageddon has arisen. The dragon Ogdru Jahad has awoken inside of Nimue's body. But he's not the problem. The one whom you seek will fight Jahad, but he will perish. We must not let him perish Constantine..."
John Constantine looks at the Stranger. Doubt was still in his eyes but he had that feeling that maybe something horrible really is going to happen. He grabs his box of silk cut, grabs a cigarrette, puts it in his mouth, fixes his coat and lights it up. "I don't know what you're pulling Judas nor do I know anyone paying you silver to do this. But I smell something you screw me about. I will get you."
"Now. You will stop him from reaching the Dragon, while I will try to stop the dragon myself. We must let him live as the fate of the world balance to the prevention of the unthinkable."
"Well then now. Seems I'll be doing me bloody part, can you now please fuck off?" Constantine said with sarcasm. The Stranger nods, and his body dissappears into nothingness. John Constantine walks away, now ready to save the whole fucking world. Its those things that was against his rules. But he think of it deeply and came to mind. When the world goes, John Constantine goes.
"Hrmm," Hellboy said as he stares at the barrel of his samaritan. He opens he cylinder and rotates it, before clocking the hammer and puts t back. He stood up and puts on his coat. Walking towards a bed, he kisses his beloved Alice in the forehead as he heads out, carrying the excalibur in his shoulder. Hellboy grabs a cellphone from his pocket, and dials his friend Abe Sapien's number.
"Hey Abe...heh. Just called if you ever recieved the box of rotten eggs. You know us two. We're way back. You..you're special to me Abe. Consider it a gift from me to you, that's all,"
He goes outside of the pub. Lightning roars and the English sky darkens. "Seriously what's with this country's stupid weather?" he thought.
As he walks down the road, he hears footstep following him from the back. He turns around, seeing no one's there. He walks again. And again he hears the damn steps. Look at it again, still nothing. Pissed, Hellboy waits for the footsteps. As soon as he hears it, he grabs his samaritan and...
nothing. He holsters his samaritan back, and as he turns back his head, sees a blonde in front of him. Hellboy was startled.
" 'Lo Cherry," John Constantine said. "Now let's do this easy eh? You hand me the sword over, and you can be on your way. How's that?"
"Hmm. Let's see...em...no," Hellboy said as he shruggs Constantine off.
"You know it'll be much easier if you can live to see your girl for another day," John said. The words put Hellboy into a halt. "I've made me research on you "Hellboy". I know you don't want to do this. So I'm offering ya. There's another way you know. I can kill the monster your planning to sock about. Then you can go back to your girl. All you have to do is to give the bloody sword,"
Hellboy started walking again. Trying to get away from the man as soon as possible. "You know mate. Its not wise to leave a girl ya know. You can't imagine... what might happen to her if you do."
Hellboy stopped. Constanine puts on a grin as Hellboy enraged look turns towards him. John pissed off somebody he shouldn't have. Hellboy approaches John, and said, "I could use a warm up."
"I know you would say that."
Hellboy raises his right hand of doom and attempts to swipe Consantine off. But suddenly becomes paralyzed and immobile. He was pinned down to the floor written with sigils. "What the Hell?!"
"Its a binding spell. No need to waste energy casue that's unreakable...well to you. Now you stay put now mate. I'll be having this thank you," Constantine said as he grabs the sword. Hellboy watches as Constanine leaves him pinned down. But the thought of Ogdru flying in the sky fills him, and tries to stand up and move.
Constantine sees the ruckus and said, "Whoah their lad. You can't break through that. Its too strong." But Hellboy kept on and with adrenaline managed to break through the spell.
"Unbelievable," Constantine thought. Hellboy gets his balance, visibly exhausted, and charges at Constantine. John drops the sword and jumps out of the way. John punches Hellboy in the chin, but Hellboy lets out a punch of his own, sending Constantine a few feet away.
Constantine retaliated and aims a Webley at the demon. "Listen ere. I don't want to use this."
Hellboy grabs his own samaritan and fires, but misses. John fires his revovler in realiation, and both were in an intense gun fight. John lets out 4 shots that hit Hellboy in the chest, but Helboy was unaffected and fired his samaritan which hit Constanine in the shoulder. The Brit was visibly hurt and laid down, and Hellboy charges at him with his samaritan aimed. John grabs his lighter and sends magical fire at Hellboy. But Hellboy blocks it with his right hand. As he looks about, Constantine was gone. John appears from the back and hangs on Hellboy's back. Hellboy tries to shake him off, but Constantine mananaged to write an incantation on Hellboy's skin. And as he lets go, a burst of godly energy hits Hellboy. It was a spell, and Hellboy falls to his knees in pain with his coat tattered. Constantine punches Hellboy in the jaw, kicks him on the side, and knees him in the face. Hellboy falls back. Seeing his opponent fallen, Costantine tries to get the sword from Hellboy, but Hellboy sucker punches him in the torso. Sending the poor Brit away.
"Ah bollocks!" Constantine murmers from the pain. Four of his ribs was destroyed with that bloody clean punch, and one shard of bone was aiming close to his heart. It felt horrible being punched by a boulder fist, especially in the ribs. He gets up carefully not to get his ribs stab him in the heart. Hellboy walks towards him with sword in hand. Constantine whips his trench coat at Hellboy, gashing his cheek. Hellboy tries to send a hook at John, but John dodges it and lets out a punch of his own, but Hellboy grabs his hand and slams him to the ground. Hellboy lifts Constantine over his head and throws him, with John slamming back on the ground. Constantine gets up and yells a spell "Fiat bloody lux" and Hellboy was thrown several feet from an explosion. Constantine summons a souls strom, and Hellboy was lifted from his feet by ghouls and powerful wind, and he spins midair, colliding with debris. Before Hellboy landing face first back to the ground with force. Constantine then throws the coat at Hellboy, and the coat wraps around Hellboy tighly and tightly, trying to break every bone in Hellboy's body and to suffocate him. Hellboy feels the coat, and its powers draining him. But with a press, Hellboy managed to take the damn coat off of him and throws it. Hellboy was visible weakened and his shoulders and arms are sore, and the coat flies back to Constantine, who was surrounded by undead footmen.
"Ready to give up," John said.
"Fuck you," Hellboy said as he raise his sword and a band of undead knights came his aid.
"Shite", John murmers. And the two armies fight each other. One of the footmen grabs hold of Hellboy, and John whisks an incantation that blasted Hellboy. Hellboy grabs the footmen and smashes him to the ground, before one of Hellboy's knights grabs Constantine by the neck. Constantine uses a spell and the corpse went down back to a pile of bones. But Hellboy suddenly grabs Constantine and throws him away. John ges back up and shows his twin blade, and attempts to slash at Hellboy, but Hellboy parries with the excalibur. Hellboy thrusts at Constantine, but Constantine dodges and punches Hellboy square in the face, before attempting another wild slash. But Hellboy blocks it and the two blades grinded each other.
"Hmm," Hellboy grinned as he twist his excalibur, locks the twin blade in its shaft, before flipping it away and sending the blade out of Constantine's hand. John looks and takes a gulp as Hellboy swing his excalibur. John tries to get away, but the blade sinked into John shoulder, splitting his arms, and finally slices off John's thumb.
John yells in pain and grabs his bleeding hand. "Fu-cking bollocks! That thumb was new!" But John takes vengeance and kicks Hellboy in the guts, making him drop his blade. John again kicks Hellboy's head and tries to get the excalibur, but Hellboy picks John up and throws him with deadly force. John landed heavily on the ground, and Hellboy grabs a grenade and throws it at John. The grenade explodes and Constantine with it.
Seeing the remains of the blonde in flames, Hellboy feels relieved and grabs his samaritan and shoots off the remaining walking corpses, even his own. He unholsters it and grabs the excalibur. Walks away from the battle thinking it was over.
"Aye, bloody...fuck!" John said as he grasped his side. He's out of Hellboy's sight, but it won't help him as he is wounded to a meaty pulp. Aside from ribs and faced being smashed, his leg too was shredded by the grenade. If it wasn't for his quick evasion and some spells, he could have been turned into a British salsa. "So Reddy, guess it ain't smart to try to dance with you face to face. I'll have to use me own dirty tricks then ponce," John said as he fixes his coat and goes towards Hellboy's direction.
Hellboy falls down from his walking. The sun has disappeared and dark skies are already above. Hellboy is going to see the apocalypse, and its his bad luck he'll be late for it. The wounds he sustained is still there, but Hellboy managed to pick himself up, and carries the sword in his back.
"I suppose I shoulda waited for you like wa I said eh?" An Irish redhead girl said. It was Alice Monaghan, and Hellboy was visibly shocked o see his love in front of him.
"Al, what the Hell are you doing?"
"Came to pick you up," she said as she approaches the downed devil. "Please Alice, go back now," Hellboy pleads.
"Oh you. You and your always 'I go this' attitude. If you're going to face this wee armageddon. Might as well go with ya,"
But the redhead wraps her arms round around Hellboy, which silences the grunt. Tears flows from Hellboy's cheeks as he rests his head on Alice's shoulder. "Damn this. You don' know how happy I am to see--
But before he can finish Alice suddenly grabs the excalibur, and pummels Hellboy with it. Alice makes a backflip away from Hellboy, before landing besides John Constantine, who was actually watching all the drama with a devilish grin.
"Y-you!" Hellboy said as he wipes blood from his lips.
"Magic is all about misdirecion mate," John said while the image of Alice disappears into smoke. "Street magicians always say that hands are faster than the eyes. They were half right."
Hellboy gets up with rage. He was visibly pissed. Using the image of his beloved Alice as an illusion for a second rate cheap trick was something he would never ever tolerate. He charges at Constantine, "I'll kill you!"
John readies himself for the charge. He digs deep and stares at Hellboy's hot rage-filled eyes. He aims both his hands at Hellboy and starting chanting a powerful curse. "Atom deugdon onion. Ratin biuatom Hellboy iearu!"
Hellboy suddenly felt a sharp pain in his head. He stops and falls down grasping his head filled with pain. Nausea attacks his stomach, vertigo and dizziness strikes his head, and his body became stiff and filled with pain. "Good thing I got that one right," John said.
But Hellboy managed to gather a small portion of strength to stand a little up and strikes Constantine. John dodges it and folls with a jab to Hellboy jaw. Hellboy tries to deliver a roundhouse, Constantine block it and knees him to the chin. With his legs shaking, Hellboy raises his right hand and strikes it down on Constantine, but Constantine utters a spell, "Fiat bloody lux!" and Hellboy was thrown feets away from a powerful explosion. He was down and unconscious. Constantine draws a sigil on he floor, and finally binds Hellboy in a binding spell, his body disappears to nothing.
Winner: John Constantine
"Constantine...you weren't supposed to kill him," The Phantom Stranger said as he arrrived moments after the battle ended.
John gets up from his bed of roses, "Didn't killed him Chief, watch..." John flips his fingers and Hellboy falls out of nowhere, moaning in pain and headache. "Binding spells, very useful against a bugger like that."
"Then you would need all the binding spell you can get," Stanger said. He puts his hand on Hellboy back, and whispers "Anung un Rama", and Hellboy suddenly was healed and opened his eyes before getting back up. "Aww, wha about me mate?" Constantine said showing his thumb stump.
"Fuck you blondie," Hellboy said as he lits up a cigarrette.
"Hellboy. I am the Phantome Starnger. I have walked eons in this world and has always kept he balance of good and evil. But now an enemy trmebles that you are destined to face. Me and John Constantine shall help you."
"I don't need help. Especially on strangers like you,"
The Stranger prevents him from walking away. "We won't help you. Only assist you. The dragon will not be defeated hat easily, and as desined, you will destroy it. We are here to make sure you are safe for your return to your loved ones."
Hellboy shruggs off the Stranger's hand. "You can tag along. But its up to you to keep up," Hellboy said.
John lits up a cigarette and grins. "Hellboy, Phantome Stranger, and John Constantine, three big fuckers in one crossover. How much can you get? Ogdru, that bastard be ready to be fucked."
Experts believed that although Hellboy has the upper hand in physicality and in close quarters, John Constantine's magic was deemed superior. John ultimately has the better and more dangerous weapons in his disposal. His sigils prevented Hellboy from even laying his hands on him. Hellboy on the other hand was weak against magic and ghosts, which Constantine has in his disposal.