The Sawyer Family: Vicious cannibals who kidnapped their victims, tortured them, and turned them into chili...
The Firefly Family: Sadistic serial killers who traveled the countryside committing unspeakable acts to their victims...
Who... is... DEADLIEST!?
|Sawyer Family||Weapons||Firefly Family||Weapons|
|Leatherface||Chainsaw, sledgehammer||Captain Spaulding||Shotgun|
|Chop Top||Revolver, switchblade, grenade||Otis B. Driftwood||Twin pistols, kitchen knife|
|Alfredo Sawyer||Shotgun, baseball bat||Baby Firefly||
Revolver, combat knife
100 Brutality 99
Edge - The Sawyer Family: As savage as the Fireflys can be, it is hard to beat such acts as grinding your victims into chili and selling it to people.
79 Physicality 85
Edge - The Firefly Family: Captain Spaulding, Otis, and Baby travel around more, and have access to a better diet, whereas the Sawyers mostly stay in one place, eat other people, and live in pretty bad conditions.
94 Intimidation 91
Edge - The Sawyer Family: A guy wearing a mask of human skin beats a clown, a pale-skinned hippie Vietnam veteran with a metal plate in his head, who picks off his own skin and eats it, wins over a raggedy bum, and a pervert with one eye beats a girl who mostly appears relatively normal.
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Captain Spaulding, Otis, and Baby are walking along a dirt road somewhere in Texas, looking for a new hideout. All three are sweaty from the heat, and as they walk, Baby wipes some sweat from her forehead.
"F***ing heat," she says, "We better find someplace to crash soon."
"Oh shut up!" Otis snaps at her.
"YOU shut up, asshole!" Baby snaps back, "We could've gotten something back at that gas station to keep cool with, but nooooooo, we had to keep going. We couldn't stop for two f***ing seconds to get some water!"
"Two seconds is the exact amount of time that is a hazard to my f***ing health!" Otis responds.
"To hell with water," Spaulding says, "I want some ice cream! I'm in the mood for some tutti f***ing fruity!"
"Tutti f***ing fruity!" Baby repeats, longingly, "Did you hear that, Otis? If you could've just waited for two seconds, we could all be enjoying some tutti f***ing fruity right now!"
"There is no f***ing ice cream in your f***ing future!" Otis says, eyes on the road.
"Not if we can't get out of this heat, that's for sure." Baby mumbles to herself.
The three continue along the road. Suddenly, Captain Spaulding stops dead.
"Well, look what we have here!" he laughs, pointing.
Baby and Otis look up. Before them lies a run-down, two-story house.
The three of them slowly walk up to the front porch. Otis looks through one of the windows.
"I don't see anyone." he says.
"I wouldn't expect there to be anyone," Spaulding says, "This house looks like its been abandoned for a while now."
"Then it'll be the perfect place to lay low for a while," Baby says, "nobody will think to look for us here."
At that moment, a crash is heard from within the house. Otis, Baby, and Spaulding whip their heads around.
"F***!" Spaulding growls, "Looks like we got some tenants after all."
"Well," Otis says, pulling out his pistols, "I think its time these people met their new landlords."
"And they're about to be evicted." Baby replies, pulling out her revolver.
Otis kicks in the door, and the three of them head in, Spaulding bringing up the rear with his shotgun in hand. There's nobody in sight. Spaulding directs Baby to head through the door to the right, and Otis through the door to the left, while he himself continues forward down the hallway. As he enters the next room, a noise next to him makes him swing the shotgun barrel around. Sitting on the couch is a pale-skinned, malnourished-looking man. He is dressed up like a hippie, and holds a clothes hanger in his hand. Rather than be alarmed at the sight of a man pointing a shotgun at him, the man laughs maniacally.
"Hey, hey I know you!" Chop Top cackles, "You're Captain Spaulding! That t.v. clown guy!"
Spaulding keeps the shotgun pointed at him.
"You're a fan, I take it?" he says.
"Oh yeah" Chop Top replies with a toothy grin, "Me and Bubba, my little brother... we watch you all the time! You're his favorite! I'm more partial to music myself..." He takes out a lighter and heats the tip of the hanger.
"Music is my life..." he says, as he begins to pick at his head with it.
"Well, its always nice to meet a fan," Captain Spaulding says, aiming the gun, "but I'm afraid me and my family have need of this establishment, and we can't have nobody telling people we're here."
"Oh yeah, oh yeah, I get it," Chop Top says enthusiastically, "you value your privacy. Don't worry, no one will ever know you were here.” He licks his lips.
"Glad to hear it." Spaulding says, as he prepares to squeeze the trigger. Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he sees someone else step into the room. He leaps back through the doorway, barely avoiding the blast from Alfredo Sawyer's shotgun. Chop Top cackles as Alfredo runs after Spaulding.
Spaulding runs down the hallway, with Alfredo in hot pursuit. Alfredo fires another round, but Spaulding dodges by running into a nearby room. Alfredo leans against the outside of the door, reloading his shotgun. He pokes his head around the doorway, and quickly withdraws it as Spaulding fires a round from his own shotgun. He fires blindly around the doorway, but misses. He leans out and fires again, shattering the lamp next to Spaulding, who begins to fire round after round. Alfredo can’t return fire fast enough, and is forced to retreat; now Spaulding is the one in pursuit. Alfredo ducks into a room, grabbing a baseball bat he has propped up against the wall. Hiding behind the door, he waits for Spaulding to arrive. Within moments, Spaulding enters the room, shotgun at the ready. Alfredo approaches from behind and swings the bat, but Spaulding spins around and blocks it with the shotgun, quickly responding by slamming the handle of his gun into Alfredo’s stomach. Alfredo stumbles backward, and Spaulding takes this opportunity to fire a round straight into his chest.
Elsewhere, Otis hears the sounds of gunfire, and runs to investigate. As he runs down the hall, Chop Top leans out from a doorway and fires a revolver, just missing Otis’ face. Otis jumps aside into an adjacent doorway, feeling the scratch on his cheek where the bullet grazed him. Growling, he readies his twin pistols and leans out from the doorway, unleashing a barrage of bullets, forcing Chop Top to seek cover. Chop Top leans out and fires twice, missing the first shot, but the second hits Otis in the shoulder, causing him to drop one of his guns. He retreats back through the room. Chop Top follows him, but when he looks into the room, Otis is gone. Looking down, he sees a trail of blood from Otis’ bullet wound. Grinning, he follows the blood trail, eventually coming to the door leading into the dining room. Hearing Otis groaning in pain on the inside, Chop Top pulls out a grenade from his jacket.
“Sorry, Nubbins,” he says to himself, “I meant to let you hold on to this, but desperate times call for desperate measures.” He pulls the pin, waits a second, and tosses the grenade into the dining room.
“F***!!!” he hears Otis yell, followed by the sounds of him scrambling away. A second later, the grenade explodes. Chop Top peers inside; the room is trashed, and Otis is lying against the wall, thrown from the grenade’s explosion. His head twitches slightly; he’s still alive. Chop Top pulls out a switchblade, moves over to Otis and, cackling, slits his throat.
“Otis, NO!!!” a voice cries out from behind him. Chop Top turns around to see Baby standing with her own revolver pointed at him. She fires, striking him in the head, but the bullet bounces off his metal plate.
“OW!!!” Chop Top yells, stumbling backward and falling to the floor. He feels the spot where the bullet struck him. “You dented my plate, you b****!”
“I’ll do more than that!” Baby yells, firing again, striking Chop Top right between the eyes.
At that moment, Captain Spaulding enters the room.
“Baby, are you ok!?” he asks.
“Yeah, but… those bastards got Otis.” She replies, tears in her eyes, pointing.
“F***ing motherf***ers!” Spaulding yells, smashing the butt of his shotgun against the wall and leaving a hole.
“Let’s just get out of here,” Baby says, moving over to the door and turning to face Spaulding, “I can’t stand hiding out in this place knowing what it cost us.”
“Baby, LOOK OUT!!!” Spaulding yells, suddenly.
Baby looks behind her; she barely has time to open her mouth in shock before Leatherface smashes her face in with a hammer.
"MOTHERF***ER!!!” Spaulding yells in rage, firing his shotgun; he just misses, but Leatherface jumps in shock and drops his hammer. He turns and runs down the hall.
“You ain’t goin’ nowhere, B****!” Spaulding shouts, running after him. Looking down the hall, he sees Leatherface running; he has a clear shot. He aims, and pulls the trigger; the resulting click indicates he’s out of ammo.
“F***!” he growls. He drops his shotgun, and looks around; he picks up Baby’s revolver. “I’m gonna enjoy this.” He says, and runs after Leatherface. However, he has managed to disappear.
“What’s the matter, freak!?” he calls out, “Don’t ya like clowns!?” he moves throughout the rooms and hallways, looking for Leatherface. Suddenly, he hears a revving sound; he looks to his left, and barely manages to avoid the chainsaw swung by Leatherface. Leatherface swings the chainsaw again, but Spaulding jumps backward to dodge it. He aims the revolver.
“F*** yo momma!” he yells, shooting Leatherface in the stomach. “F*** yo sister!” he shoots him again. “F*** yo grandma!” he shoots him a third time. “But MOST of all… F*** YOU!!!” he fires a fourth time. Leatherface stumbles backward, and drops to one knee. Spaulding grins… but his grin quickly vanishes; instead of falling down dead, Leatherface instead straightens up and revs his chainsaw. With a roar, he lunges forward; Spaulding is momentarily stunned, and before he can fire again, Leatherface swings his chainsaw; Spaulding cries out in pain as his severed hand falls to the floor, still clutching Baby’s revolver. Leatherface follows through by shoving his chainsaw straight through Spaulding’s stomach. Spaulding gurgles as blood pours from his stomach and mouth, and he falls to the floor. He looks up at Leatherface standing over him, and weakly gives him the finger. Leatherface roars, and raises his chainsaw. Outside the room, the roar of the chainsaw is heard, followed by the sound of cutting flesh.
Victorious, Leatherface runs out of the house, swinging his chainsaw wildly, roaring in sorrow for the loss of his brothers.
Winner: The Sawyer Family