Today, as I get back on the horse, we pit our favorite team of red-wearing mercenaries against alternate-history Nazis with Dinosaurs. They are Tough! They are Mean! They are pretty damn Crazy!
The RED Team, the Red-Wearing Mercenaries of the Reliable Excavation Demolition company, who constantly battle the BLU Company!
The Dinosauriergruppe, the special team of Nazi soldiers and Dinosaurs, who work to bring the world under the Nazi-Dino Regine!
RED Team[]
Reliable Excavation Demolition is a holding corporation, allegedly specializing in "demolition operations". In reality, from behind a myriad of sub-fronts, it secretly controls half the world's governments, led by founder and CEO Redmond Mann. Beneath the convincing exterior of their bases of operations, computer racks, satellites, rockets, and missile installations can be found throughout these bases.
“ | Some people think they can outsmart me. Maybe, *sniff* maybe. I have yet to meet one that can outsmart bullet.
— The Heavy on intelligence
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The Heavy is a towering hulk of a man that hails from the USSR. He stands as one of the most dangerus of the RED team do to his high endurance, heavy weapons and great strength. He is very fond of his Minigun whom he nicknamed "Sasha".
Weapons:
Fists:
- The Fists are simply large, meaty hands wearing fingerless gloves and curled into deadly weapons.
- Damage Type: Blunt Force
Shotgun (Ithaca 37):
- A sawed-off Ithaca 37 "Shotgun" is the sidearm of choice of the Heavy.
- Rounds: 12 gauge buckshot
- Effective Range: 40 meters
- Rate of Fire: Pump-Action
- Magazine: 6 round internal tube mag
Minigun (GE M134 Minigun):
- The Minigun, known affectionately as "Sasha", is an enormous Gatling-style machine gun with a large rotating barrel, based on the GE M134 Minigun, complete with a large white underslung ammunition case and two handles.
- Rounds: 7.62×51mm high-velocity, custom-tooled rounds
- Effective Range: Likely 800 meters
- Rate of Fire: Fully Automatic
- Magazine: 200 round ammunition case
Sandvich:
- The Sandvich is a half sandwich that the Heavy uses to regenerate health.
- Made with white bread, lettuce, tomatoes, Swiss cheese, and an indeterminate meat that is referred to both ham and bologna by the Heavy. Topped with a green pimento-stuffed olive, pinned by a toothpick.
- Regenerates full health in 4 seconds
Special Edges:
- Near-Superhuman Strength and Durability: The Heavy can take more bullets than any human can take. He can also kill a man with a single punch, displaying extraordinary strength. He is also strong enough to carry a 330.75 pounds Minigun with little problem.
“ | Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother, I hurt people.
— The Scout on the facts of life
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Born and raised in Boston, Massachusetts, the Scout is a fast running scrapper with a baseball bat and a snarky 'in-your-face' attitude. He is very rude, and seems to think he can handle anything. He often acts a lot tougher than he can actually prove to be, though he's certainly not weak.
Weapons:
Bat:
- The Bat is an aluminium baseball bat sporting a rubber tape grip, a faded green oval label, and a large dent on its side.
- Damage Type: Blunt Force
Pistol (Walther PPK):
- The secondary weapon for the Engineer and Scout classes, the Pistol is based on the Walther PPK, with an impossibly big 12 round clip.
- Rounds: .32 ACP
- Effective Range: 50 meters
- Rate of Fire: Semi-Auto
- Magazine: 12 round clip
Scattergun:
- The Scattergun is a short, double-barreled lever-action shotgun with a wooden handle.
- Rounds: 12 gauge buck-shot
- Effective Range: 25 meters
- Rate of Fire: Lever Action
- Magazine: 6 shell internal tube mag
Special Edges:
- Super Fast: The Scout is the fastest mercenary on the battlefield. He can cut distances super fast and deal damage quickly.
- Double Jump: The Scout has an unnatural ability to jump once and then jump again half-way in the air.
- Hit-and-Run Fighter: The Scout is ideal for literal hit-and-run tactics for sapping away the enemies' health due to his ability to get in, do damage and dash away before even being targeted.
“ | If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!
— The Soldier on the Art of War
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The Soldier is a crazed patriot from America's heartland. Tough and well-armed, he's versatile, capable of both offense and defense, and loyal to the United States Army, despite never being a member of the U.S. Army.
Weapons:
Shovel:
- The Shovel is a hand-held folding shovel, also known as an entrenching tool or spade, with a splintered handle.
- Damage Type: Blunt Force or Hacking
Shotgun (Ithaca 37):
- A sawed-off Ithaca 37 "Shotgun" is the sidearm of choice of the Soldier
- Rounds: 12 gauge buckshot
- Effective Range: 40 meters
- Rate of Fire: Pump-Action
- Magazine: 6 shot internal tube mag
Rocket Launcher:
- The Rocket Launcher is a typical rocket-propelling device with a protruding metal side and a wide exhaust port.
- Rounds: Rocket-propelled grenade
- Effective Range: 200 meters
- Rate of Fire: Semi-Auto
- Magazine: 4 rockets internal tube
Special Edges:
- Rocket Jump: The Soldier is well known for his spectacular rocket jump. In defiance of all good sense and judgment, the Soldier can detonate a rocket at his feet and launch himself skyward at the cost of some health. This ability allows the Soldier to pop up in unexpected places and reach areas off-limits even to the Scout's double jump.
- WWII Experience: When rejected by the U.S. Army during WWII do to his mental instabilities, he was able to sneak into Germany, taught himself how to utilize a large array of weapons and slaughtered a very large number of Nazi soldiers single-handedly.
- Loyalty: The Soldier has a deep patriotic loyalty to the RED Team.
“ | Hey look, buddy. I'm an engineer — that means I solve problems.
Not problems like 'What is beauty?' because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems.— The Engineer on his profession
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The Engineer is a soft-spoken, amiable Texan with an interest in all things mechanical. He specializes in constructing and maintaining Buildings that provide support to his team, rather than fighting at the front lines.
Weapons:
Wrench:
- The Engineer's Wrench is similar in appearance to a monkey wrench.
- Damage Type: Heavy Blunt Force
- Also used to build and repair Buildings
Pistol (Walther PPK):
- The secondary weapon for the Engineer and Scout classes, the Pistol is based on the Walther PPK, with an impossibly big 12 round clip.
- Rounds: .32 ACP
- Effective Range: 50 meters
- Rate of Fire: Semi-Auto
- Magazine: 12 round clip
Shotgun (Ithaca 37):
- A sawed-off Ithaca 37 "Shotgun" is a common sidearm of the Pyro.
- Rounds: 12 gauge buckshot
- Effective Range: 40 meters
- Rate of Fire: Pump-Action
- Magazine: 6 shot internal tube mag
Sentry Gun:
- The Sentry Gun, also known as the Sentry Mechanical Firing Device, Sentry, Turret, or simply abbreviated to SG, is a building that can be constructed by the Engineer using the PDA, the Engineer's build tool. The gun itself is a tripodal device constructed of metal, team-colored paint, and a laser sight (when used with the Wrangler).
- Weapons: High-Powered, Twin-mounted Gatling guns w/ Rocket Launcher
- Rocket Launcher equipped when fully upgraded
- Effective Range: Likely 500 meters
- Rate of Fire: Automatic
- Magazine: 200 rounds (Gatling guns), 20 rockets (rocket launcher)
- Weapons: High-Powered, Twin-mounted Gatling guns w/ Rocket Launcher
Dispenser:
- The Dispenser, also known as the Dispense-O-Matic 9000 Provisions Dispenser, is a building that can be constructed by an Engineer using the Build Tool. The team-colored device is a sort of gas station pump with various supplies inside and a CRT screen with a gauge.
- Provides ammo and health to allies
Teleporter:
- Teleporters, also known as Telemax Teleporters, are a type of building produced by the Telemax Corporation that can be constructed by an Engineer using the Build Tool. Two components make up a complete and functional teleporter set: the Teleporter Entrance and the Teleporter Exit. Both ends appear as devices painted team color that rotate quickly to form glowing, circular pads.
- Teleports allies from one designated location to another
Special Edges:
- Engineering Genius: All of the Engineer's machines were designed and built by the Engineer himself.
- Loyalty: The Engineer is a very loyal member of the RED team, which is good as his gear is most effective when he is a good teammate.
“ | One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch...and kablooie!
— The Demoman on occupational hazards
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The Demoman is a scrumpy-swilling demolitions expert from the Scottish Highlands, and is one of the more versatile members of the team. A master of explosives, the Demoman strategically deals indirect and mid-range combat and massive splash damage. The Demoman uses his only good eye and the knowledge of his surrounding environment for well-timed detonations that send enemies skyward, often in many pieces.
Weapons:
Bottle:
- The Bottle is a brown glass bottle of scrumpy marked with 'XXX' on the label and a year suggesting it was made in 1808.
- Damage Type: Blunt Force w/ Cutting from glass shards
Ullapool Caber:
- The Ullapool Caber is a disproportioned World War-era German Model 24 Stielhandgranate "potato masher" grenade modified to explode on impact.
- Damage Type: Explosive Force
Stickybomb Launcher:
- The Stickybomb Launcher is a modified grenade launcher that fires grenades that stick to anything, with a large magazine and wide barrel.
- Rounds: Sticky Grenade
- Sticks to walls and enemies
- Effective Range: 200 meters
- Rate of Fire: Semi-Auto
- Magazine: 8 grenade internal drum-mag
- Rounds: Sticky Grenade
Grenade Launcher:
- The Grenade Launcher is a multiple-round, break-action grenade launcher with adjustable weapon sights, wooden stock and foregrip.
- Rounds: Time Grenades
- Explodes if impacting an enemy unit or after set interval after being fired
- Effective Range: 350 meters
- Rate of Fire: Semi-Auto
- Magazine: 6 round revolving cylinder
- Rounds: Time Grenades
Special Edges:
- Explosive Expert: The Demoman is an explosive expert, using careful precision and the environment to deal maximum damage.
- Brutal: He is perfectly fine with blowing the crap out of people.
“ | This Spy has already breached our defenses...
You've seen what he's done to our colleagues! And worst of all: He could be any one of us.— The BLU Spy on the RED Spy
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The Spy, hailing from an indeterminate region of France, is an enthusiast of sharp suits and even sharper knives. He relies on stealth and trickery to aid his team.
Weapons:
Knife:
- The Knife, also known as the Butterfly Knife or Balisong, is a foldable butterfly knife with a handle clip and clip-point blade.
- Damage Type: Piercing or Cutting
Revolver:
- The "Revolver" is a Colt Python with a six-inch barrel and ivory grips, the Spy's primary weapon.
- Rounds: .357 Magnum
- Effective Range: 50 meters
- Rate of Fire: Double Action
- Magazine: 6 round revolving cylinder
Disguise Kit:
- The Disguise Kit, also known as the Spytron 3000 Disguise Kit, is an ordinary cigarette case that, in addition to six normal cigarettes, contains hidden Spy tech.
- Used to take identity of enemy units
Invis Watch:
- The Invisibility Watch, also known as the Invis Watch, is a piece of advanced technology embodied in a digital watch with a partially wooden face and a silver segmented wristband.
- Used to turn invisible
Dead Ringer:
- The Dead Ringer is a gold-plated pocket watch with an engraving of a hummingbird on its lid, and a circular Cloak display within.
- Used to turn user invisible while leaving behind a fake corpse behind to fool enemies
Special Edges:
- Master Spy: The Spy's unique set of gadgets and weapons make him perfect at going around unnoticed.
- Back-Stab: The Spy is the master of literately stabbing people in the back and killing them instantly.
“ | Snipin's a good job, mate! It's challengin' work, outta doors. I guarantee you'll not go hungry, cause at the end of the day, long as there's two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead.
— The Sniper on his profession
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Hailing from the Australian Outback, the Sniper is a tough and ready crack shot. The Sniper's main role on the battlefield is to pick off important enemy targets from afar using his Sniper Rifle and its ability to instantly kill a target with a headshot.
Weapons:
Kurki:
- The Kukri is a large, curved knife based on a machete.
- Damage Type: Cutting
SMG (MAT-49/M1A1 Thomson):
- The Submachine Gun, often abbreviated as SMG, is a Frankinstine gun of the MAT-49 and M1A1 Thomson submachine guns.
- Rounds: 9×19mm Parabellum
- Effective Range: 50-100 meters
- Rate of Fire: Automatic
- Magazine: 25 detachable magazine
Sniper Rifle (Remington 700):
- The Sniper Rifle is a bolt-action rifle with a wooden stock and a massive telescopic scope, with a laser sight attached underneath, based on the Remington 700.
- Rounds: .308 Winchester
- Effective Range: 800 meters
- Rate of Fire: Bolt Action
- Magazine: 25 internal magazine
Jarate:
- Jarate, the "Jar-based Karate", is a standard mason jar filled with urine that is capped with a screw-on lid.
- Thrown at enemy targets to cover in urine and glass
- Urine weakens up enemies and make them more vulnerable to damage
- Thrown at enemy targets to cover in urine and glass
Special Edges:
- Crack Shot: The Sniper is a very skilled... well, sniper. Can hit more targets than any other sniper.
- Patient: The Sniper knows that being a sniper requires patients so he learns to be very patient from time to time.
“ | I fear no man. But that thing... it scares me.
— The Heavy talking about the Pyro
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The Pyro is a mumbling pyromaniac of indeterminate origin who has a burning passion for all things fire related. As shown in Meet The Pyro, the Pyro appears to be insane and delusional, living in a utopian fantasy world known as Pyroland.
Weapons:
Fire Axe:
- The Fire Axe is the melee weapon of choice for the Pyro. It is a stereotypical fireman's axe with a red axe head, silver edge, and a wooden handle.
- Damage Type: Hacking (Axe head) or Piercing (Pick end)
Shotgun (Ithaca 37):
- A sawed-off Ithaca 37 "Shotgun" is a common sidearm of the Pyro.
- Rounds: 12 gauge buckshot
- Effective Range: 40 meters
- Rate of Fire: Pump-Action
- Magazine: 6 shot internal tube mag
Flare Gun
- When the Pyro wants a sidearm that fits his love of fire, he will use a flared-end, single-shot team-colored flare gun.
- Rounds: Flares
- Sets individuals on fire
- Effective Range: 10 meters
- Rate of Fire: Single Shot
- Magazine: 1 shot
- Rounds: Flares
Flame Thrower:
- The Flamethrower is the weapon of choice of the Pyro. It is a long metal pole connected by a hose to a propane tank. The tank is attached to the pole via fastening bands. A continually lit pilot light can be seen at the nozzle. The trigger is made out of a team-colored gas pump handle.
- Primary Fire: Flaming Gas
- Sets individuals on fire
- Secondary Fire: Compressed Air
- Sends enemies flying backwards
- Effective Range: 50 meters
- Rate of Fire: Cone of Fire
- Magazine: 200 ounces of gas
- Primary Fire: Flaming Gas
Special Edges:
- Fire-Retardant: The Pyro's asbestos-lined suit makes him fire-retardant. This means fire does not do as much fire as it does to non-fire-retardant people.
- Usefully Insanity: The Pyro's insanity makes him very deadly to his enemies but not to his allies. That's nice.
“ | ... Let's go practice medicine.
— The Medic, making preparations
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The Medic is a Teutonic man of medicine. While he may have a tenuous adherence to medical ethics, he is nonetheless the primary healing class of the team.
Weapons:
Bonesaw:
- The Bonesaw is a worn, large-toothed medical saw with a thick grey handle, similar to those that were once used during operations and amputations.
- Damage Type: Sawing
Medi Gun:
- The Medi Gun is a modified fire hose nozzle wrapped in tape and outfitted with a bottom handle and is connected to the Medic's backpack by a hose. It fires a glowing team-colored beam into the recipient, who will then appear to exude similar colored cross symbols.
- Used to heal allies
- Can "Overheal" allies
- Also used to ÜberCharge allies
- ÜberCharge makes allies utterly invincible for a limited time
- Used to heal allies
Syringe Gun:
- The Syringe Gun is an oddly-shaped air-powered gun. Mounted on top of the weapon is a transparent cylindrical case filled with syringes, from which the projectiles it fires are apparently derived.
- Rounds: Syringes
- Effective Range: Roughly 100 meters
- Rate of Fire: Automatic
- Magazine: 40 shot detachable cylinder magazine
Special Edges:
- Man of Medicine: The Medic use to be a legit medical doctor in till he lost his medical license do to his "questionable ethics".
Dinosauriergruppe[]
During World War II, Adolf Hitler found a way to resurrect dinosaurs for use in the war effort and has trampled through most of Europe and the Mediterranean.
The Dinosauriergruppe are the special team of dinosaur-Nazi soldiers. They are armed with the basic Nazi weapons as well as weapons made for certain dinosaur units.
“ | Der Sieg ist unser! (Victory is ours!)
— Kurt Streicher
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A fanatical believer in the ideals of the fatherland and, like many of his comrades in the Dinosauriergruppe, was recruited from elite units of the Wehrmacht. Hptm. Kurt Streicher is the perfect assault soldier, equipped with a heavy-hitting Mauser K98 and an MP40 Sub-machine Gun. Streicher is also an accomplished painter.
Weapons:
Knife:
- The knives used by the Dinosauriergruppe have double sided blades, more atone to daggers, and are good at stabbing.
- Damage Type: Cutting or Stabbing
MP40:
- The MP 40 was a submachine gun developed in Nazi Germany
- Rounds: 9×19mm Parabellum
- Effective Range: 100 m
- Rate of Fire: Automatic
- Magazine: 32 round detachable magazine
K98 (Karabiner 98k):
- The Karabiner 98 Kurz was a bolt action rifle chambered for the 7.92×57mm Mauser cartridge that was adopted as the standard service rifle in 1935 by the Nazi German Wehrmacht.
- Rounds: 7.92×57mm Mauser
- Effective Range: 500 m
- Rate of Fire: Bolt Action
- Magazine: 5 round internal magazine
Model 24 grenade:
- The Model 24 Stielhandgranate was the standard hand grenade of the German Army from the end of World War I until the end of World War II.
- Damage Type: Fragmentation Blast
- Effective Blast Radius: Approximately 10 meter
- Launch mechanism: Thrown
Special Edges:
- Military Training: Streicher was a well-trained soldier in the Wehrmacht before joining the Dinosauriergruppe.
OLt. Karl Hissman is a solder, outdoorsman and fanatical Nazi. Hissman is known around Germany for his falconer skills which he made a slightly different use for when Hitler recreated dinosaurs. Hissman can call in a Pterosaur, which will make a suicide act by diving and blowing itself up with a 20MM mortar.
Weapons:
Knife:
- The knives used by the Dinosauriergruppe have double sided blades, more atone to daggers, and are good at stabbing.
- Damage Type: Cutting or Stabbing
Luger Pistol:
- The Luger pistol is a toggle-locked recoil-operated semi-automatic pistol.
- Rounds: 9×19mm Parabellum
- Effective Range: 50 m
- Rate of Fire: Semi-Auto
- Magazine: 8 round detachable magazine
Mauser K98 w/ Scope:
- The Karabiner 98 Kurz, also known as the Mauser K98, was a bolt action rifle chambered for the 7.92×57mm Mauser cartridge that was adopted as the standard service rifle in 1935 by the Nazi German Wehrmacht.
- Rounds: 7.92×57mm Mauser
- Effective Range: 500 m
- Rate of Fire: Bolt Action
- Magazine: 5 round internal magazine
- Features scope for sniping purposes
Model 24 grenade:
- The Model 24 Stielhandgranate was the standard hand grenade of the German Army from the end of World War I until the end of World War II.
- Damage Type: Fragmentation Blast
- Effective Blast Radius: Approximately 10 meter
- Launch mechanism: Thrown
Pterosaur:
- Hissman is able to call in a Pterosaur to suicide dive into enemies and explode.
- Source of Explosion: Mortar tied to Back
- Range: 100 meters
- Can only be called down onto outdoor targets
- Require recharge time after each use
Special Edges:
- Skilled Marksman: Hissman has the best aim of the Dinosauriergruppe and is the designated sniper.
- Skilled Falconer: Hissman is a highly skilled Falconer and will use this ability to guide Pterosaurs to perform airstrikes.
- Military Training: Hissman was a well-trained soldier in the Wehrmacht before joining the Dinosauriergruppe.
Veterinarian, combat medic, soldier; there are few that can tend to the wounds of both soldiers and dinosaurs on the front lines, but HptFw. Wolfgang von Graff is one of them.
Weapons:
Knife:
- The knives used by the Dinosauriergruppe have double sided blades, more atone to daggers, and are good at stabbing.
- Damage Type: Cutting or Stabbing
Luger Pistol:
- The Luger pistol is a toggle-locked recoil-operated semi-automatic pistol.
- Rounds: 9×19mm Parabellum
- Effective Range: 50 m
- Rate of Fire: Semi-Auto
- Magazine: 8 round detachable magazine
MG44 (StG 44):
- The StG 44 was an early assault rifle developed in Nazi Germany during World War II that was the first of its kind to see major deployment.
- Rounds: 7.92×33mm Kurz
- Effective Range: 300 m
- Rate of Fire: Automatic
- Magazine: 30 round detachable magazine
Health kits:
- Graff will throw in Health kits to provide health to those in the middle of battle.
Healing:
- Graff is able to use a special area healing ability to heal multiple allies.
Special Edges:
- Skilled Medic/Veterinarian: Graff is able to heal both human allies and dinosaur allies.
“ | *Snarl Hiss* Translation: I am still hungry for the flesh of those that love freedom!
— Velociraptor
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A carnivorous, dromaeosaurid dinosaur of the late cretaceous, velociraptors hunted the scrubby desert hills and sand dunes of the gobi desert, hunting roaming herds of protoceratops. Fast, agile, with incredible leaping ability, but it's lack of armor and thin skin make it vulnerable to enemy fire.
Weapons:
Claws:
- The Velociraptor utilizes its claws extensively in combat.
- Damage Type: Clawing
Bite:
- The Velociraptor will also bite targets at vulnerable areas.
- Damage Type: Cutting-Bite
Special Edges:
- Fast and Agile: The Velociraptor is very fast and incredibly agile. It needs to be to compensate for its small, weak builds.
- Pounce: Using its incredible speed and agility, the Velociraptor will commonly pounce onto any plausible target.
“ | *...mmmmrrRRRRRAaaaah* Translation: Metal box heavy, I need break anyway.
— Desmatosuchus
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Large, herbivorous aetosaur, an order of extinct reptiles that competed with the early dinosaurs for dominance of the late triassic world. Once the Nazis resurrected it, they promptly outfitted it with a 20mm anti-aircraft gun into the 6-7 inch thick, keratinous armor that runs the length of its back. The heavy armament and armor makes the Desmatosuchus something like a walking tank.
Weapons:
Head Butt:
- The thick, armored skull of the Desmatosuchus makes headbutting a very deadly thing.
- Damage Type: Blunt Force
Tail:
- The thick and highly powerful tail of the Demastosuchus also functions as a weapon
- Damage Type: Blunt Force
20mm anti-aircraft gun:
- Strapped to its back, the Dematosuchus' 20mm cannon is very deadly.
- Rounds: 20mm Anti-Aircraft gun
- Effective Range: around 800 meters
- Modifications likely hampered its effective range
- Rate of Fire: Semi-Automatic
- Magazine: 50 round belt
Special Edges:
- Natural Armor: The Dematosuchus' hide and thick bones can withstand immense damage and is nearly bullet-proof.
- Incredible Strength: The Dematosuchus' build also makes it incredibly strong and can carry much weight.
“ | *Snarl Snaral ROWR!* Translation: I'll eat white furry animals until you get back. May eat human too, we'll see.
— Dilophosaurus
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A vicious, theropod dinosaur from the early jurassic, the Dilophosaurus is one of the earliest known theropod dinosaurs. In addition to his claw attack, the Dilophosaurus can sprint at his enemy and use a head butt to knock them down.
Weapons:
Claws:
- Dilophosaurus utilizes its large claws extensively in combat.
- Damage Type: Clawing
Bite:
- Dilophosaurus will also bite targets with its great jaws.
- Damage Type: Cutting-Bite
Head Butt:
- Dilophosaurus will also use its head as a weapon to knock enemies over.
- Damage Type: Blunt Force
Launch Goats:
- Dilophosaurus has the unique ability to launch goats from its mouth as a deadly projectile. Will substitute a dead person in-place of goat
- Damage Type: Blunt Force
- Effective Range: Around 50 meters
- Rate of Fire: One Goat at a time
- Magazine: One goat at a time
Special Edges:
- Incredible Strength: Dilophosaurus is a large and very aggressive dinosaur and its strength matches it. It easily overpower a human with its brute strength.
- Natural Armor: Dilophosaurus' build also makes it an incredibly durable creature, taking more punishment than humans.
“ | *eeeeerrrRAAWwwoooo* Translation: Very lonely. Going to ask Nazi master to make female Stygimoloch.
— Stygimoloch
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A malevolent looking pachycephalosaurid dinosaur with a tough, skull-dome covered in horns. Stygimoloch lived in the late cretaceous alongside Tyrannosaurus Rex and Triceratops in the hell creek area of western U.S. The Nazis strapped a MG34 onto the Stygimoloch's back as they quickly realized it's above-averaged intelligence (for a dinosaur) made it capable of wielding a gun.
Weapons:
MG34
- The Maschinengewehr 34 is a German recoil-operated air-cooled machine gun that was first tested in 1929 and used by Nazi Germany in WWII.
- Rounds: 7.92×57mm Mauser
- Effective Range: 800 m
- Rate of Fire: Automatic
- Magazine: 300 round belt
Head Butt:
- Stygimoloch's head is perfect for deadly headbutts.
- Damage Type: Blunt Force
Special Edges:
- Incredible Strength: Stygimoloch's thick bones and build makes it an incredibly strong unit.
- Armored Hide: The Stygimoloch's hide and thick bones makes for good protection.
- Ramming Speed: Stygimoloch is capable of going on a fast sprint to ram people with its hard head.
“ | *Pant Pant HISS* Translation: Ready to bite wire in mouth...can taste delicious bugs Nazi master will bring!
— Compsognathus
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The Compsognathus is a dinosaur class for the Axis. It is a small dinosaur which uses its claws to attack Allies, but also has a harness fitted with a stick grenade which it can detonate as a last resort.
Claws:
- Compsognathus utilizes its tiny claws extensively in combat.
- Damage Type: Clawing
Grenade on Back
- Compsognathus will utilize a grenade on its back for suicide attacks.
- Explosion Type: Fragmentation Grenade
- Blast Radius: Around 10 meters
- Detonation: Wire activated
Special Edges:
- Fast and Agile: Because of its small size and great energy, Compsognathus is very fast and agile, making for a tough target.
“ | *Hiss Hiss Gobble* Translation: Human say me look like turkey. Turkey no fly...don't be insulting.
— Microraptor
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The Microraptor is a dinosaur class for the Axis. It is a small dinosaur which can fly over the battlefield and land onto virtually any wall, or roof. It uses this method to quickly eliminate targets before they can react.
Weapon:
Claws:
- The Microraptor utilizes its tiny claws extensively in combat.
- Damage Type: Clawing
Venom:
- The Microraptor will also utilize a venomous spit to harm and even blind targets.
- Rounds: Venomous Spit
- Will blind target if it hits eyes
- Effective Range: 5 meters
- Rate of Fire: Single spit at a time
- Needs time to build up spit after each spit
- Rounds: Venomous Spit
Special Edges:
- Fast and Agile: Because of its small size and great energy, the Microraptor is very fast and agile, making for a tough target.
- Flight: Thanks to its bird-like wings, the Microraptor is able to fly from place to place.
X-Factors[]
The two are fairly high in strength but the Soldier is a tad bit bigger and, likely, stronger.
Streicher is a tough individual but the Soldier is known for shooting a rocket underneath himself to launch himself into the air. The fact he only takes minor damage from this means he can likely last longer in a gun fight than Streicher.
Streicher is less bulky than the soldier, meaning he would have greater agility and flexibility.
Neither have note-worthy speed so they even out.
The Soldier has carefully studied the works of Sun Tzu's Art of War and had self-taught himself how to load and fire a variety of weapons. Streicher is an accomplished painter but it doesn't beat the Soldier.
While Streicher has only basic military training, it is better than the Soldier's. The Soldier was self trained and lacks the discipline that real soldiers have.
Both are small individuals but can still pack a good punch (or clawing).
Neither are large or durable fighters. They can be taken down faster than other units.
Both are highly agile but the Velociraptor is much more agile do to its superior build.
I would say that both are equal in speed as they can easily outrun most runners. However, the Velocity is naturally the faster creature
The Velociraptor is believed to be smarter than most dinosaurs but it is still a wild animal. At the same time, the Scout can be pretty stupid at times but is still at human standards of intellect. Of the two, the Scout wins by simply NOT being a dinosaur.
The Scout lacks any formal training but he has the Velociraptor beat. At the most, the raptor has attack-dog level training.
Neither warriors prioritize in up-close combat so neither need to have intense strength
Like stated above, neither need to be intensely strong or durable, putting them at an average level.
Agility is relatively key in being a good sniper and the two even out in this area.
While fast movement speed in not necessary to be a good sniper, fast reflexes is good to have. Again, though, the two are fairly even.
The two are very smart men. Hissman is a well-renown falconer and marksman, showing diversity, but the Sniper has a clearer idea on the "art" of sniping, knowing that patience, precision, efficacy and having a plan at all times is important. It is a case of multi-skilled vs mastery of one skill.
Hissman wins do to having military training. The Sniper likely has extensive training as a hunter but is isn't comparable to a soldier.
Hissman is a loyal soldier of the 3rd Reich and easily surpasses the Sniper, who is only a mercenary.
The Demoman is a pretty strong individual. The Compsognathus is a tiny little thing with little strength. It's not that hard to explain.
Same as above: The Demoman is a tough, brawny individual, which is good when you are working with explosives. The Compsognathus is tiny and weak.
This is where the Demoman's larger, stronger build comes to bite him in the ass. The Compsognathus is vastly more agile and flexible than the Demoman.
Once again, the Demoman's size makes him slower than the smaller and swifter Compsognathus.
The Demoman has immense knowledge of Explosives and few can beat him in that area. On the other side of the spectrum, the Compsognathus is very dumb animal, not fully knowing that activating the grenade on its back will kill it as well.
The Demoman's skills with explosives shows some kind of training. This would imply that he is able to match a lesser soldier in training, though his discipline could be better. It doesn't matter, though, as he is facing a dinosaur with, at most, attack-dog level training.
The Pyro is a damn strong individual but the Dilophosaurus is significantly stronger than the Pyro do to its great size and muscular build.
The Pyro is a tough individual but the Dilophosaurus' great size, bones and natural armor makes it the tougher of the two, though only barely.
Neither are known for their graceful movement so the two stand at average.
The Pyro is only at average human speed but the Dilophosaurus long but lean build allows it to take long, swift steps, surpassing the Pyro.
While the Pyro is only at average intelligence, save for some engineering know how, he beats the Dilophosaurus as it is an animal that lacks human intellect.
The Pyro's history is sketchy but it is safe to assume that he has never been in the military do to his insanity. What training he has, though, beats the guard-dog level of training of the Dilophosaurus.
The Pyro, despite his insanity, is a fairly loyal individual. He is less likely to flee than most of the RED team. Dilophosaurus is some-what loyal to the Nazis, but when things get bad, it will follow its animal instincts and flee.
The Engineer is only at average strength while Stygimoloch packs more strength than most humans.
Like above, the Engineer is only a average durability while Stygimoloch's body is incredibly durable, with thick bones and a thick hide.
The Stygimoloch is not a naturally graceful creature, as its heavy build does not allow for great flexibility. While only at average, the Engineer wins.
While it can sprint quickly, the Stygimoloch's normal speed is likely under that of a humans, meaning the Engineer wins in speed.
While the Stygimoloch is stated to be smart compare to dinosaurs, it fails to meet the engineering genius that is the Engineer. All of his creations were designed by him, crafted by him and used by him.
While the Engineer is a well trained engineer, he doesn't that great of military training. The Stygimolach is smarter than most of the dinosaurs so it can likely get better training but still not as good as a human.
Both of them have similar builds, which is only average.
Again, both of them have similar builds, which is only average.
Just like the one above, the Medic and Graff are the same in agility.
For the forth time, the two warriors are only average physically and this includes speed.
The only thing that differs the two is in intellect. Graff is both a capable doctor and veterinarian, being helpful to both sides but the Medic's stepping out of legal bounds allows him to be more accurate medically and was able to create a unique gun that heals allies with a beam of healing. Of the two, Graff is smart but not as smart as the Medic.
The Medic is a mercenary medic and cannot compete in training with a military medic Graff.
While the Spy my not be super strong, it doesn't take much to beat the tiny Microraptor in strength.
Again, the Spy is bigger and tougher than the Microraptor but that isn't surprising.
While the Spy is more agile than the average human, the Microraptor's small size and lean build makes it a very flexible and nimble creature, past what any human can be.
Like above, the Spy is a faster than most folks but the Microraptor's small, fast build makes it a lightning fast critter.
The Spy is notable for being smarter than the majority of the RED team. The Microraptor is is only at animal level. You do the math.
While the Spy remains mysterious, the posibility of training from some kind of intelligence agency is pretty likely. The Microraptor, however, only has animal level training.
The Spy knows he is being paid and will not spend a lot of energy into loyalty. However, the Microraptor is an animal above all, making it more incline to follow instinct over orders.
The Heavy is the strongest damn member of Red team, towering over them all with his massive height and thick muscles. However, the Desmatosuchus is bigger and stronger do to its strong bones and muscles.
Just like in strength, the Heavy is incredibly durable and can withstand much damage. Unfortunately for him, though, the Desmatosuchus' thick, armor like hide makes it very hard to hurt with conventional weapons.
As hulking warriors, the Heavy and the Desmatosuchus are anything but agile. the Desmatosuchus is worse off, though.
Both are vary slow but the Desmatosuchus is the slowest of the two as it is so heavy and its limbs are so short.
While many say that the Heavy is a very dumb individual, he isn't a complete idiot. He has great knowledge of his weaponry. The Desmatosuchus' brain is incredibly small and not as developed as a humans.
It remains unknown whether the Heavy was part of the Red Army before becoming a mercenary. He does have more training that the dumber Desmatosuchus, though, so it is safe to give him the edge over the Beast.
The Situation[]
Who and What: The Units[]
There will be 1 of each unit of the RED Team and 1 of each unit of the Dinosauriergruppe.
- Assault Unit: The Soldier vs Kurt Streicher
- Harassment Unit: The Scout vs Velociraptor
- Sniper Unit: The Sniper vs Karl Hissman
- Explosive Unit: The Demo-Man vs Compsognathus
- Destroyer Unit: The Pyro vs Dilophosaurus
- Support Unit: The Engineer vs Stygimoloch
- Healer Units: The Medic vs Wolfgang von Graff
- Surprise Unit: The Spy vs Microraptor
- Heavy Unit: The Heavy vs Desmatosuchus
RED Team:
Dinosauriergruppe:
Where: The Location[]
The battle will take place in a small city on the border of France and Germany. The place looks like a combination of different TF2 and Dino D-Day maps. Both sides are equally failure of the battle field so a Home-Field advantage will not exist.
Why: The Reason[]
The RED and BLU companies are fighting over a small but valuable city. The RED team is ready to begin fighting with the BLU team but things go strange. The city is "split" in half by a warp in time and space, creating a unidentifiable portal an alternate reality: 1945, where the Nazis had successfully breed dinosaurs for the war efforts.
In the alternate reality, the Dinosauriergruppe are prepared to combat the Allied Forces that are coming in. Unknown to the Germans, though, the city has been "split" in half by the warp in time and space, connecting to the TF2 reality.
The Battle[]
Within the bounds a small but highly valuable city in Germany, the scent of impending warfare lingers in the air. Clicks, shearing and other mechanical sounds are the only sounds heard in the night. No people walk the streets and market place of the once inhabited city. It had been evacuated so that the two leading forces can fight for control of it. However, a phenomenon, one too faint for anyone to sense, has appeared and “cuts” the city in half to change the shape of events that will come.
The next morning, in a large facility on one side of the city, a wide garage door opens and nine men charge out. They are all armed to the teeth and wearing red. This is the RED Team. Scout bolts out first, as he is the fastest. He is followed by Soldier and Demoman, who are rearing to blow things up. Sniper heads for the highest point and begins to travel through the buildings to get a vantage point. Spy slips into the shadows, looking to get behind the enemy. The Pyro goes his own path, also looking to surprise the enemy. The last ones out are Heavy, Medic and Engineer. Heavy leads the way, ready to take in enemy fire when it comes at them, as Medic pumps him up with his Medigun and Engineer sets up a teleporter from the start.
Soon, RED reaches the Control Point they are to secure and protect. Scout is the first one there but things are not right; not in a “this is bad” way but in a “this is weird” way. No BLU team members are in sight. He is met with Soldier and Demoman, who are equally puzzled. Sniper is in a building above the check-point, looking for any BLU mercenaries but finds nothing. Spy and Pyro exit their alley ways; Spy is wearing a BLU Soldier disguise, anticipating some back-stabbing while the Pyro comes out blazing, stopping when he finds no one to burn. Heavy, Medic and Engineer finely make it. The RED team is stumped.
“This is not right,” Exclaims the Soldier in anger. “We should be battling the enemy right now, not waiting for them!”
“Relax, Yankee-Doodle,” Scout says to calm the angry man with a rocket launcher. “They probably just late getting here."
“No. We should be worried.”
The RED team turns to the speaker: the Spy.
“Something is off, here. Perhaps some people don’t notice it but there is something wrong about this place. Look at where we are standing.”
The rest of the RED team looks around. Most of them see nothing. Engineer, however, starts to see it. It is phenomenal but explainable. Meanwhile, Sniper has a curious look to him, as he follows something in the sky.
“I see nothing,” Heavy responds.
“No, there is something,” the Engineer says. “I can’t explain it but something is just not right. It’s like we are under a doorway… between two points in time. Just look at the streets and buildings.” Everyone starts to look at the buildings and start to see the “split”: one half looks and feels like the city they came to the day before and this morning; the other half, however, looks and feels like it is in a time before theirs.
“I have a theory,” Engi starts to speak, “It is quite possible that we are standing under some kind of ‘worm hole’, creating a gate way between our time and another. The other side is identical in appearance but appears to be of an older time.”
“I think I found the line of it,” the Australian voice of the Sniper calls down. He points into the sky. The rest of the RED team sees the strange, phenomenal line between the worlds. They can only stare at the anomaly with no ability to do anything.
On the other side of the “door way”, a large base WWII opens its heavy doors. On the base is a unique symbol on it: the silhouette of a Pterosaur with the sig runes of the Schutzstaffel. Out the doors comes three soldiers wearing Nazi soldier uniforms and armed with different but appropriate weapons. The leader, Kurt Streicher, marches out first, followed by the sniper Karl Hissman and the medic Wolfgang von Graff. They are soon followed by the rest of their team: six strange and unique reptilian creatures, organisms that once walked the Earth many millennia ago; in other words, Dinosaurs.
The first dinosaurs out were the smallest ones. One of the small ones is a raptor, with a huge, hulking toe claw and patches of feathers on the back of its head, on its elbows and around its tail; it is the famous Velociraptor (not the misidentified ones from Jurassic). To the right of the Velociraptor is a tinier dino, lean in build with a longer neck and tiny head; it is a Compsognathus. It has a stick grenade strapped to its back. To the left of the raptor is a dino even smaller and, interestingly, appears more like a bird. It is covered in feathers and has long arms that form into wings; it is a Microraptor.
Following them are the larger dinosaurs. The first one out is a large but lean predator with a unique crest on its head; it is a Dilophosaurus. Right behind it is a large bipedal herbivore with an incredibly durable, ram-like dome on its head with a few small horns around its head; it is a Stygimoloch. It has a MG34 turret strapped to its back. The last one out is a short but very thick and strong reptile with large horn-like spikes on its back that stick out to its sides; it is a Desmatosuchus (interestingly, it is not an actual dinosaur but part of an order of reptiles that preluded the true dinosaurs). On its back is a large 20mm anti-air gun.
Together, they are the Dinosauriergruppe, the ultimate weapon of the Nazi army.
The soldiers and dinosaurs take their routes. The Velociraptor and Compsoganathus are the first ones coming into the city, as they are the fastest. The Microraptor flies up into the roof-tops of the city while Hissman goes into the buildings. The Dilophosaurus and Stygimoloch charge in at full speed while Streicher and Graff follow foot. The Desmatosuchus falls beyind, mainly because it is very slow and heavy.
“I say it’s some experiment gone wrong,” Scout speaks, “The engineers from the BLU team might have been working on some new super-teleporter and it made this... thing.”
The RED team is still standing around, trying to figure out what exactly is happening and why.
“Maybe the city is haunted?” Demo says, “It’s not the first time we saw supernatural stuff.”
“What about aliens?” Heavy asks.
“Don’t you get it?” The Soldier comes in, “There is only one answer: The Nazis!”
While Scout, Heavy, Demo, and Soldier keep throwing rather stupid ideas, the more intelligent members (i.e. Spy, Engi and Medic) are thinking about this logically.
“It is defiantly a rip in time and space,” Engi explains, “resulting in a portal between two time periods. How this is happening we don’t know.”
“What we should worry about is what will come of it,” the Spy states, “If we are lucky, it could be connected to a peaceful period. It not, which is likely, we may be facing some hostiles.”
“What about the time-space continuum?” the Medic asks, “We don’t know what harm is being done to it by this rip.”
Engi thinks about this and concern comes over him. “If we had a historian here with us, we could figure out what we need to do so not to mess up the past.”
As the more intelligent people think carefully and the dumber ones keep themselves occupied, the Pyro has built a fire to keep himself entertained and the Sniper keeps watch on the roof. As he keeps watch, he notices a bird perched on the roofs across the way. Initially, he passes it off as a bird. However, he looks at it again. It was a bit big for most birds and has a strange shape to its body. He looks through his scope and sees it clearly: a strange, bird-like creature that has a lizard-like head. It is a monster of a bird.
“Mates,” The Sniper calls down to the others, “there’s a strange looking bird. It doesn’t look good.” The others look up at it and see the surreal critter up on the roofs. What they don’t know is that is a Microraptor; a Microraptor that is a part of the Dinosauriergruppe.
As the others see the Microraptor, it screaches at the soldiers bellow and appears to spit down at Scout. It then jumps up and flies away. Scout falls black, clenching at his eyes. They burn and he is blinded by the spit. The Medic comes in with his Medi Gun and heals up Scout’s eyes, allowing him to see again.
“WHERE'D DAT STUPID BIRD GO?” Scout yells out in anger.
“I think we have bigger problems.” Says the Spy.
Just then, they hear screeches, roars and grunts coming towards them. Two small reptilian creatures, which the RED team can easily identify as dinosaurs, charge in at them with lightning speed.
They are followed up by a few grenades thrown towards their general area. The mercenaries are able to hop away in time before the grenades blow them up. The remaining members of the Dinosauriergruppe join in and attack the mercenaries with full force.
The Heavy, the Demoman and the Soldier (with assistance from the Medic) provide heavy cover-fire as the others RED mercenaries reorient themselves At the same time, the Stygimolochs exchange fire with assistance from Striecher and Graff from behind cover. Engineer starts to build a Sentry Gun and the Sniper aims down at the more dangerous targets. Hissman tries the same thing as the Sniper. The Velociraptor places its eyes on the Scout. Scout sees this and is freaked out by this. He runs into an alleyway with the raptor following foot. The Dilophosaurus goes into another alleyway. The Pyro sees the giant lizard-beast and chases after it. The Desmatosuchus finaly appears and joins in with the Stygimolochs
Meanwhile, the Compsognathus and Microraptor initiate a rather intelligent attack: The Microraptor dives down for an attack on the Heavy, getting him to let off on his firepower, while the Compsognathus gets up to the Demo and Soldier to activate the grenade on its back. However, as the Microraptor dives down onto the Heavy, a bullet goes off and the flying reptile crashes down behind the heavy, being well out of the fight. The Sniper pulls the bolt of his gun, releasing the spent case. The Compsognathus continues on its job when another shot rings out, this time from the Engineer’s Shotgun. The Engineer puts his Shotgun away and returns to building his Sentry Gun.
The Sniper looks behind the Stygimoloch and Desmatosuchus and sees Graff throwing out medic packs which are, somehow, healing the creatures. This explains why the beasts are hardly taking damage. He then aims down onto Graff. What he doesn’t notice is that Hissman has his Karabiner 98 Kurz’s scope aimed on him and fires the rifle. The shot misses by a hair and the Sniper shifts aim to Hissman. As the two are shooting, Hissman takes some hits and realizes he is not as good with a rifle as the Sniper. Thinking this, he decides to shift tactics and takes aim with something else; he calls into the sky and points towards the Sniper. The Australian is confused but takes advantage of the moment to aim onto Nazi sniper’s head.
Just before he could fire, though, the Sniper notices a screech in the sky. He looks up and wonders what it is. He finely gets a sight of the source: a strange bird-like creature flying down towards him; it is a Pterosaur, and it has a bomb strapped to it. With what reflexes he has, the Australian leaps as far away from the creature but is still caught in the blast. The blast severely injures him and Hissman now has the Sniper in a perfect spot.
The Soldier hears explosion and looks behind himself, Sniper hurt. He then looks ahead and sees the Nazi sniper aiming at him. Then, like a War-Hero, the runs towards the Nazis, fires his Rocket Launcher under his feet, Rocket-Jumping towards the Nazi, and fires a rocket at Hissman. Hissman is caught off-guard and is hit directly in the face by the Crazy-American’s rocket, blowing him to pieces.
The Soldier lands behind enemy lines and finds himself next to Streicher. The Nazi soldier responds fast enough to aim his MP40 at the American soldier. The Soldier is fast enough to pull out his Shovel, smacking the SMG out of his hands and attack Streicher. Streicher pulls out his combat knife and the two battle. The Soldier’s larger build gives him a good advantage over the Nazi. Streicher is forced to leap to his M40 and, before the Soldier can strike him down, the Nazi soldier unloads a whole magazine into the soldier. While the Soldier is not dead, the shots caused allot of damage, giving Steicher his moment. He disarms the American of his shovel and kicks him down. Streicher unloads the empty magazine and loads another magazine, ready to finish off the Soldier.
With a sudden stroke of fortune, though, the Sniper is able to get up long enough to pull out a jar of yellow liquid and takes aim. “Jarate!” the Sniper flings the jar and it crashes into the Nazi soldier. The Nazi is drenched in the contents, which was urine, and Streicher is blinded, dazed and all around out of it. With adrenalin pumping, the Soldier grabs the Nazi soldier and flings in a ways… all the way into the middle of the firefight. Stretchers is riddled in bullets from the Heavy, Stygimoloch and Desmatosuchus and finely blown to pieces by the Demo’s grenades.
The Soldier is able to limp behind some safe cover while the Sniper rolls back away from enemy sight. They are not dead but they are well out of the fight, in till the Medic can get them.