Since it doesn't feel right being on here doing zero battles, I'm gonna do one annually, for the Wiki's anniversary. It may be bi-annual depending on how I feel about this towards December.
And yes, this is long, but try to read all of it. And for those of you wondering, it is in FTS's Deadliest Warrior script style.
Small Note: Leo is, obviously, me, and Serp and Saka are both loosely based off of friends of mine.
Large Note: Massive Spoilers ahead for both the Mistborn recursive trilogy and the Stormlight Archive series.
Intro[]
Announcer(A): On this episode of Deadliest Fiction...
A: *Dalinar on a black background* Dalinar Kholin! *Dalinar shown walking though Alethi warcamp, next to Elhokar* The uncle of King Elhokar, he turned to *Dalinar shown reading* the Alethi book "The Way of Kings" for guidance after his brother died. *Dalinar fighting Parshendi* Recently announced the Highprince of War, The Blackthorn is a fearsome foe on the battlefields of Roshar!
A: Versus...
A: *Marsh on a black background* Marsh! *Masses of Skaa in Luthadel* Once a simple half-Skaa - someone who shouldn't exist - *Steel Inquisitors fighting Mistborn* he became a Steel Inquisitor, one of the most fearsome warriors on Scadrial. Quickly rising to become Ruin's, and later Harmony's, right hand man, *His conversation with Marasi* he is currently known as Ironeyes, the very personification of DEATH!
A: *DF Logo* It's time to decide, once and for all, Who! Is! Deadliest!
A: This episode will feature three hosts: *Shows an Indian male on a computer* Leolab and *Shows a Caucasian male on another one* TheSerpentinePoet, who go by Leo and Serp, respectively. Also joining them *shows a short Caucasian female walking towards them* is Saka *Shows them walking to a table* Leolab is a native of this series, but TheSerpentinePoet is a guest who may or may not join in the future. Saka is also a guest, but will most likely not join.
Tale of the Tape[]
*Leo and Serp shown at table with weapons from both the Mistborn and Stormlight Archive series*
A: First up, the Tale of the Tape, handled by Leo and Serp!
Leo: Well, first ting to determine is what time frame for the warriors we're using.
Serp: Dalinar should be obvious: Just before he gives his Shardblade to Sadeas in exchange for Kaladin's bridge crew.
Leo: So, Dalinar at his peak and with his motivation restored. Done. Marsh should be as he is in the end of Alloy of Law.
Serp: With control over himself and at the peak of his power. Okay, I can see that being even.
Leo: So, let's start with Dalinar: He's an Alethki -
Serp: Alethki?
Leo: Alethi, my bad. He's an Alethi Highprince. He's also one of the kingdom's foremost warriors.
Serp: Not to mention the Shardplate.
Leo: True. He's fit, healthy, and incredibly strong with the Shardplate - but that last is for testing. Now, Marsh...
Serp: Marsh is a little more difficult to determine - all we really know is that he is a crazy good fighter, able to take on Vin on even terms.
Leo: He's a Steel Inquisitor, though. That counts for a LOT.
Serp: True. They are repeatedly shown to be physically fit - though how much of that is Hemalurgy is unclear. As you said for the Shardplate - Hemalurgy is for testing.
Leo: True. Speaking of testing, why aren't we doing that again?
Serp: The announcer guy hasn't introduced the experts yet.
Leo: Then let's just show the weapons table real quick...
*shows weapons table, below*
| Dalinar Kholin | Name | Marsh |
| Armored Fists | Close | Pewter-Enhanced Fists |
| Warhammer | Mid | Obsidian Axe |
| Shardplate | Special | Hemalurgically-enhanced Allomancy and Feruchemy |
| Oathbringer | One-Hit Win | Hemalugically-charged Spike |
Expert intro[]
A: Representing Marsh *shows Kelsier practicing dagger combat techniques while Sazed watches* is a duo that have known him, and Steel Inquisitors, longer than anyone else. *Zooms in on Kelsier leaning against a post* Kelsier! Marsh's brother, and a Mistborn. He has fought against Steel Inquisitors, as well as having access to most of the powers Marsh does, giving him intimate knowledge of his combat techniques.
A: Also representing Marsh *zooms in on Sazed reading* is Sazed! A normally docile Terrisman, his role as a Keeper was to gain knowledge. He has known Marsh for a long time, not only serving as a traveling companion but also fighting against him while Marsh was controlled by Ruin.
A: Representing Dalinar, *shows Elhokar and Adolin sparring with Shardblades* is a generation younger than, yet still awed by, him. *Zooms in on Elhokar* Elhokar! King of the Alethi and Dalinar's nephew. He has seen his uncle in combat, and uses the same weapons.
A: Also representing Dalinar is *Zooms in on Adolin* Adolin! Dalinar's eldest son and heir. He uses a similar combat style with his Shardblade, and knows more about him than anyone.
Close range weapons[]
A: In close, Dalinar Kholin leads off with *shows Shardplate-armored fists on black* a deadly augment to any unarmed combat techniques: armor on his fists!
*Serp and Saka are setting up several dummies, while Leo calibrates the computers. Elhokar and Adoling walk in.* Leo: So, what toys do you have for us today? Adolin: First, we're going to show you how much Shardplate improves unarmed fighting. Elhokar: Our biggest strength is our Shardplate, and using it increases our speed, strength, stamina, etc. If we are rendered weaponless, fistfighting is an excellent technique while we summon or resummon our Shardblade. Leo: Well, I'd like a comparison test. We have several human simulacra here, fitted with pressure sensors. Serp: How'd we... Saka: Magic, duh. Leo: Adolin, please punch one unarmored and the other with your shardplate. Try to be as consistent as possible with the force you put in. Elhokar: Why Adolin? Adolin: My Calling is dueling. So... *Adolin steps in front of the first simulacrum, and punches it* Leo: *looks at computer* Hmm... by all accounts, a normal punch. Now try with the Shardplate. <nowiki>*Adolin punches the second simulacrum with the Shardplate on. He breaks skin, as well as most of the bones around the area.*
Saka: That looks like it hurt.
Serp: Holy damn.
Leo: *looks at computer* Impressive - the force measured in the kilonewtons. *walks over to second simulacrum, starts poking around*
Saka: *staring at simulacrum* Do you really have to do that? the guy's obviously pulverized.
Serp: *also looking at simulacrum* Depending on what he finds, maybe not.
Saka: But kilonewtons.
Leo: *still examining simulacrum* The average human can survive 12 kilonewtons, but in any case it was closer to meganewtons than kilonewtons. Still, I'm seeing lots of broken bones, as well as massive internal bleeding - an average human wouldn't survive.
Adolin: And that's what we can do without a weapon.
Serp: Kelsier, Sazed, What do you think?
Kelsier: *walks over, looks disappointed* I can do the same without armor.
Adolin: *looks incredulous* You really expect us to believe that?
Kelsier: I'm going to show it in a second. Plus, Marsh can - what'd you say it was, Sazed?
Sazed: Compound. He can use both Feruchemy and Allomancy, meaning that not only can he use the same Pewter trick Kell is going to show you, he can increase his muscle mass thousandfold while he's doing it. On top of all that, Gold compounding means he wouldn't even have a scratch after that punch.
Leo: Now that is impressive. I'd like to see the technique.
Elhokar (in background): I don't think they can deliver on that.
A: Marsh counters with *shows an unarmored fist* his Pewter-Enhanced fists! Using Allomancy and Feruchemy, he can make a simple punch a devastating blow.
Sazed: Unfortunately, neither of us can compound. You can see both Pewter effects, though.
Serp: Aren't you, like, Harmony, though?
Sazed: Well, yes. But Kelsier is the combative one, as you can see.
Saka: Well, the comparison is still valid. Any increase to your strength is a corresponding increase in Marsh's.
Leo: We're only testing the Allomantic Pewter enhancement, not compounding *Sazed looks relieved*. Kelsier, go ahead.
*Kelsier takes out a glass vial filled with metal shavings, suspended in liquid, and drinks it.*
Leo: Do the same thing Adolin did. First punch normally, then using compounding.
*Kelsier punches a simulacrum.*
Saka: *looking at Leo's computer* Nice punch.
Leo: Now the second one.
*Kelsier punches the second one. There's no visible change in him, but the fist nevertheless moves too fast to see and shatters the bones of the Simulacrum*
Leo: *looks at computer* Uhh... you broke the sensor. *walks over to simulacrum* Aside from the obvious fact that you broke a lot of the bones here, and while it's not too visually impressive, the internal bleeding is intense - you even got the ribs to pierce the lungs and heart.
Sazed: And that's without adding Duralumin, compounded Pewter, nor other compounded metals to the punch.
Kelsier: Duralumin?
Saka: I think you were dead by then.
Sazed: Indeed.
*Leo, Saka, and Serp are around a group of computers showing data and footage of the tests*
Leo: I'm giving my edge to the Pewter - enhanced fists. Especially with the compounding thrown in there, it's much more powerful than the Shardplate.
Serp: I agree. It's also incredibly fast.
Saka: And even with just Pewter. I'm fairly sure there's something in there that increases speed and strength further.
Leo: So, we're giving the edge to Pewter 'cause that's only one possible enhancement for Marsh, while the Shardplate is all that Dalinar would get.
Serp: Exactly.
A: The edge goes to... *shows Marsh* Marsh, and his pewter-enhanced fists!
Mid Range[]
A: The contest won't be decided by fists alone. Each warrior has a devastating mid-range weapon.
A: Dalinar leads off with... *shows warhammer on a black background* the warhammer! *shows Dalinar digging through rock with it* A weapon that can smash anything to bits, it sees its best use combined with his Shardplate!
*Adolin, in Shardplate, showing off the hammer to Leo, Serp, and Saka*
Adolin: My father often kept a warhammer in his armory, and would generally use it if his Shardblade was inefficient in some way.
Saka: Not very often, then...
Elhokar: Regardless, Uncle knows how to use it. *Adolin smashes the warhammer through a dummy*
A: Marsh also brings a hacking combat weapon - *shows wood-handled obsidian-bladed axe on black* a nasty Obsidian Axe! *shows a Steel Inquisitor fighting with it* A weapon made to resist Allomancy, it is a fearsome Mistborn-killing tool!
*Kelsier and Sazed holding axes, Sazed having more trouble holding his*
Kelsier: Well, Marsh and other Inquisitors would favor weapons that are Allomantically inert. During the Final Empire, they would favor axes much like what I am holding.
*Kelsier shows wood-handled Obsidian axe, then puts it down and takes the one Sazed is holding*
Sazed: The one that Kelsier is holding now was used after the discovery that Aluminum was allomantically inert. Most inquisitors, however, would use the wooden one.
*Kelsier puts the aluminum-hafted one down, picks the wood-hafted one up, and walks to where Adolin is standing*
Leo: Well, we have a small course for you here. *zooms into course, which is six simulacra propped up by steel wires in a series of corridors* We're going to let you use whatever enhancements you like, but all the damage MUST come from your weapon. We'll start the timer when you enter, and stop when you exit the course.
Serp: So, we want to prevent cheating. Kelsier, we have an identical course set up for you around the back.
Saka: Leo'll be monitoring that one, and Serp and I will see what Adolin has to offer.
A: Both warriors will run their tests simultaneously, and the footage will be reviewed by the entire team. But your screen has room for only one test. First to be shown is... Adolin, with his warhammer.
Serp: In 3... 2... 1... go!
*Adolin, in Shardplate, charges in, and turns the first corner. Seeing the first simulacrum, he swings his warhammer in an overhead chop. He sprints down the first corridor, holding the spike end of the hammer to rip through the second simulacrum's abdomen. He notices that he's about to run into the wall, and instead wall-jumps off of it and enters the second corridor, landing at a crouch in front of the third simulacrum. He swings the hammer end one-handed diagonally through it, and enters a doorway to a small room with the fourth in the middle. Adolin smashes through its head while pivoting to the doorway to the next room, where the fifth stands guard. He slams the spike though its abdomen, and then follows up with a blow to the chest. Moving into the next room, he spots the sixth and swings the spike into its head, pulls it down, and finishes with a smash to the spine. He opens the door he thinks will exit the course, and behind it is a seventh simulacrum. Adolin simply smashes it with the spike end and hooks it out of the way.*
Saka: Time! That was *looks at stopwatch* about 1 minute 35 seconds. Wow.
A: Next up is Kelsier, leading with the Obsidian Axe! can he beat Adolin's time?
Leo: In 3... 2... 1... Go!
*Kelsier enters cautiously, turning a corner and spotting the first simulacrum. He Pulls on the metal wires propping it up and burns Pewter, increasing his speed. He Flares the metal in a horizontal, decapitating chop. Still Flaring Pewter and Burning Steel, as Kelsier sprints down the hall he flips the axe into a reverse grip and uses the running motion to slice diagonally through the second simulacrum. Pulling on the wires for the third simulacrum to help him turn, he rounds the corner at full speed and jumps. He Flares Steel and Iron, Pushing off of he second simulacrum and propelling himself towards the third. He uses his augmented speed to chop the third simulacrum in half. Pulling to slow himself down, he enters the doorway to the room with the fourth simulacrum. Burning Pewter, he uses an overhand chop to bifurcate it. Turning to the fifth, he uses a quick horizontal chop to decapitate it. Spotting the sixth, he brings the axe down through its skull. He flips the axe to a reverse grip, and walks towards the exit door. Being surprised by the seventh, Kelsier jams the haft of the axe through its skull, and walks out.*
Leo: That was... 57 seconds, even.
*Leo, Serp, and Saka meet, with Adolin and Kelsier nearby*
Serp: First thing's first, times.
Saka: Adolin got through in about 95 seconds.
Leo: Kelsier did it in 57.
Serp: So, Kelsier had the faster time by about 37 seconds.
Leo: Yep. We should look at the damage, though, 'cause the Warhammer could be significantly stronger, and then at the footage to see why Kelsier was faster.
*Leo walks through Adolin's course, trailed by Serp, Adolin, and Sazed*
Leo:*Examining first simulacrum* Well, his skull is exploded. That's an obvious kill. Moving on... *walks to second simulacrum, starts examining it* Well, we've got an interesting wound here - it tears almost straight through the gut.
Sazed: Gold compounding makes this one moot.
Adolin: I doubt that...
Sazed: Gold compounding can heal a man who has been burned down to nearly his skeleton.
Leo: That aside, this is still a kill on this target - the target doesn't benefit from any of the Metallic Arts.
Serp: *looking at wall Adolin jumped off of* I think you may have had a few maneuverability difficulties, Adolin.
*Sazed chuckles*
Adolin: Yeah, I was going a little too fast to stop there so I just launched myself off the wall.
Leo: *laughing, moves to third simulacrum. Examines it.* Nice work, Adolin. You bisected this one with that hammer. *Walks to fourth* Another headshot.
Serp: *Leo walks to the fifth* The vid looks like you were doing it almost as a afterthought.
Leo: Nice two-hit combo here - the first spike to the gut wouldn't be instant, but it would take him out. The chest cavity is caved in here. That'd do him in. *Walks to the sixth* Well - that smash to the spine would paralyze, not kill, but that's still a disabling technique.
Serp: Look at the head.
Leo: Ah. That spike wound is a kill. *moves to seventh* Well - this one is not dead.
Adolin: What?
Leo: It'd in great pain, and bleeding out, *sticks hand inside wound* but you didn't even hit the brain *feels around inside wound* or any major... Never mind, he is dead. You punctured the common carotid in a way that the bleed is only internal to the gastrointestinal tract. I'd compliment you if I thought that was intentional.
* Serp smirks, Adolin glares at Leo*
Leo: So that's 7 kills in a minute 35. Let's move on to Kelsier's course.
*Leo walks in to Kelsier's course, trailed by Kelsier, Elhokar, and Saka*
Leo: *Examining first simulacrum* Well... he has no head.
Saka: *Examining the second* There's a little more missing from this one...
Leo: It's a very clean slice on both - not what I'd generally expect from obsidian, given that its so brittle.
Saka: It's sharp, though.
Leo: One of the *walks to third* sharpest naturally-occurring materials. Edge is 3 nanometers thick, and smooth even on an electron microscope. And this one is bisected.
Elhokar: That one and the previous one wouldn't have gotten through Shardplate
*Leo walks to the fourth, and Saka walks to the fifth*.
Kelsier: Not from me, maybe, but from Marsh it would get through.
Elhokar: Not with the tricks you've shown so far.
Kelsier: There's always another secret.
Leo: *waves them over* Nice hit here. You've gone clean through.
Saka: And this one is nearly the same as the first. *points to sixth simulacrum* And the sixth seems to have his head cut in half.
Leo: *walks to sixth, chuckling* indeed, *starts pulling apart the wound* it does. Now let's see the seventh... *walks to it* Well... this is a bit different than normal.
Saka: Did you try to stab it with an axe?
Kelsier: It was the quickest reaction.
Leo: You still killed him, though. I'm surprised the axe didn't break from what you put it through.
Kelsier: It was made for far stronger warriors than I.
Leo: Fair enough.
*Leo, Saka, and Serp gather around a pair of computers, watching the footage of the tests*
Leo: So.. the time difference.
Saka: I think that's Adolin's maneuverability difficulties - as you *points at Serp* called it - along with the much finer control Kelsier has with his Allomancy.
Serp: So nothing on the weapon itself, just the enhancers.
Leo: Well, in that case, I'm giving my edge to the Axe. Sure, the Warhammer has more visually impressive blows - but the Obsidian Axe gives a cleaner cut, and is damn quick with the enhancements.
Serp: You've said it all.
Saka: Plus, that axe is wicked sharp - and Kelsier even stabbed with it sucessfully.
A:The edge goes to... *shows Marsh wielding the axe* Marsh, with the Obsidian Axe!
Special[]
A: Both warriors have unique special weapons they bring to battle. Dalinar leads off with *shows empty suit of Shardplate on a black background* Shardplate! *shows Dalinar saving Elhokar form the Chasmfiend* An armor stronger than all others, it can withstand impossible blows. *shows Dalinar's race up a cliff with Elhokar* It also improves the wearer's strength and speed, letting him pull off impossible feats!
*Leo, Serp, Saka, and Elhokar are gathered around a suit of Shardplate*
Elhokar: *Showing his Shardplate on a stand* Well, here's a suit of Shardplate. It's powered by these Spheres here *taps glowing spheres*.
Saka: Are the spheres easily cracked? Since it's so glowy, it's an easy target.
Elhokar: Spheres are quite difficult to break, especially in the heat of battle. They can be cracked if hit with enough force, though. As can the plate.
Leo: Didn't Szeth liquify Shardplate with a 20-kg block?
Serp: Moving at about 8 times the speed of gravity, yes.
Leo: The other concern I have is a lack of protection for the head.
Elhokar: That is a notable drawback, yes, but most warriors wear a helmet; that should stop most things short of a Shardblade.
Leo: The theory is quite impressive - though what happens when the Stormlight runs out? And I also believe that it cracks with repeated blunt trauma or massive force.
Elhokar: Well... yes, the Stormlight is rather necessary for it to function. In the very unlikely case that it runs out, the armor would be too heavy to move in.
Saka: I take it that's not usually a concern? And what about the cracking?
Elhokar: No, Stormlight running out is rather rare. The cracking, on the other hand, can occur if the Shardplate is hit too hard or too often. It accelerates the speed at which Stormlight is lost, but there is a lot of it.
Serp: Let's say it breaks. What happens then?
Elhokar: Well, the chance of that happening is...
Leo: No matter how small, a chance is a chance.
Elhokar: Well, for one, just before breaking, Shardplate will turn to what looks like liquid crystal. When it breaks, it slides off the body, and will reform on its own.
Leo: And that takes how long?
Elhokar: A matter of hours.
Serp: So, in essence, the Shardplate is an amazing defense, but it's best not to rely on it too much against an overwhelmingly strong or fast opponent.
Elhokar: Yes. Though it is still an excellent defense against those. Just take the time when Uncle rescued me from the Chasmfiend - that was an overwhelmingly strong opponent, and the Shardplate still held. Plus, the Shardplate gives you extra speed and strength.
Leo: Not only a superb passive defense, but also an excellent passive offensive and evasive boosts. Though I assume the boosts are dependent on the Stormight charge?
Elhokar: Yes; when the Stormlight is gone, so are the increases in strength and speed.
Leo: It's still an impressive suit of armor. A little too much gold for my taste, though.
Elhokar: Uncle Dalinar leaves his Shardplate unpainted. It's simply grey.
Leo: I see...
A: Marsh counters with... *pans up Marsh's body, showing spikes* Hemalurgy! *Shows creation of an Inquisitor* Hemalurgy steals the soul and powers of Allomantic of Feruchemic beings, and thus requires a live human sacrifice to work. The end result is a being more powerful than normal!
*Leo, Serp, Saka, and Sazed are gathered around a table with Hoid's notes on Hemalurgy*
Sazed: Whoever this Hoid guy is, he's remarkably well-informed.
Leo: Regardless, this seems to be the most complete information on Hemalurgy - what each type of spike steals is, at this point, irrelevant. Marsh has a couple Atium spikes in him, meaning he has the full powers of a Mistborn and a Feruchemist. On top of that, he has at least 18 other spikes, giving him extra strength in all of them.
Sazed: Allomancy and Feruchemy - and Compounding.
Leo: Well, we've got a bit of a table for both Allomancy and Feruchemy. *looks offscreen* Yo! show it!
*shows table, below*
| Metal | Allomantic Properties | Feruchemical Properties | Hemalurgic Properties |
| Iron | Pulls Metal | Stores Weight | Steals Strength |
| Steel | Pushes Metal | Stores Speed | Steals Physical Allomancy |
| Tin | Enhances Senses | Stores Senses | Steals Senses |
| Pewter | Enhances strength | Stores physical strength | Steals physical Feruchemy |
| Zinc | Makes target's emotions stronger | Stores mental speed | Steals emotional fortitude |
| Brass | Lessens target's emotions | Stores Warmth | Steals Mental Feruchemy |
| Copper | Hides Allomancy | Stores Memories | Steals mental fortitude |
| Bronze | Can sense Allomancy | Stores wakefulness | Steals Mental Allomancy |
| Cadmium | Stretches/slows time | Stores breath | Unknown |
| Bendalloy | Compresses/hastens time | Stores energy | Unknown |
| Gold | Shows the burner's past | Stores health | Steals Temporal Feruchemy |
| Electrum | Shows the burner's future | Stores determination | Unknown |
| Chromium | Removes target's metals | Stores fortune | unknown |
| Nicrosil | Flares target's metals | Stores investiture | Unknown |
| Aluminum | Removes one's metals | Stores identity | Steals Enhancement Allomancy |
| Duralumin | Flares one's metals | Stores connection | Steals Enhancement Feruchemy |
| Atium | See into other people's futures | Stores age | Steals Any Power or Attribute and does so better than the original spike |
Saka: So... Compounding...
Sazed: Compounding is simple: if an Allomancer is also a Feruchemist, and can Burn the same metals that he can store attributes in, he can Burn a metal which he has stored an attribute in to gain a large amount of that attribute - more than he put in.
Leo: So as an example, let's say for... *points at random position on chart* gold. Compounding means that the Allomancer can heal more rapidly than normal?
Sazed: Correct. A gold compounder can even heal through setting off dynamite in their hand.
Leo: What if a certain amount of power wasn't needed?
Serp: Yeah, would it just go to waste or could the compounder re-store what was unneeded?
Sazed: Yes. They can; the nature of Freuchemy allows them to do so.
Leo: That's very useful.
*Cut to Leo, Serp, and Saka around a table*
A: After reviewing the testimony, the hosts must decide which special weapon is deadlier!
Leo: Hemalurgy wins this. Just look at what it can do - Compounded Iron with Steel gives extremely strong pushes, and simple Feruchemic Iron with a Steelpush can level a building.
Serp: Yeah, even though Shardplate is an excellent tool, the offensive and defensive capabilities are matched with Hemalurgy. And there are even more abilities on top of that.
A: Edge: Hemalurgy!
One-Hit Kill[]
A: Both warriors bring a weapon to the table where, if it hits, the battle is over! *Image of human after a Shardblade strike* It either kills instantly, *showing human controlled by Allomancy / Hemalurgy* or allows the warrior to control their target!
A: First up is *shows Oathbringer on a black background* Oathbringer! Dalinar's Shardblade, which leaves a fine cut through any nonliving material and severs the soul of those alive! *Sadeas walking into the testing area* As a special guest, we have Sadeas, the current owner of Oathbringer!
Sadeas: Greetings, all.
* Leo and Elhokar struggle to restrain Adolin, finally shoving him out of the room*
Leo: Adolin doesn't seem to like you too much.
Sadeas: No, he doesn't. So, what are we testing the Shardblade on?
Leo: Well, we have some volunteers.
Serp: What?
Leo: Some prisoners on Death Row have volunteered to be human guinea pigs.
Serp: Isn't that a little unethical?
Leo: The were given a choice. And this is cleaner than what they've been doing recently.
Serp: True. I still don't like it.
Leo: Objection noted.
Sadeas: Can we get to it?
Leo: Sure. I'd just like to see everything the Shardblade can do, though.
Sadeas: Sure thing.
* Sadeas steps into the ring, Shardblade in constant motion. The prisoner - a large, muscular man, enters with a knife. He strikes, and Sadeas parries with the edge of Oathbringer. The knife gets slices in half. Sadeas brings Oathbringer's hooked point around the man's arm, and it passes clean through. The arm hangs limp and useless. Sadeas then slashes through the neck, killing the prisoner. Smoke comes out of its eyes.*
Leo: Nice work. Out of curiosity: when you hooked into the man's arm, what happened to it? Was it paralyzed or...
Sadeas: Dead. Anything it passes through dies.
Elhokar: The Shardblade kills not the flesh, but rather the soul.
Leo: I see... and how is this Shardblade carried? And do you use the same combat techniques as Dalinar?
Elhokar: The Shardbalde is not carried. It is summoned with a gesture, and then the summoner must wait ten heartbeats.
Saka: So it gets summoned faster when in battle, when adrenaline gets the heart pumping?
Sadeas: Yes. And I do use a similar combat technique to Dalinar - Windstance, I believe he calls it. The Shardblade is constantly in motion.
Leo: Since it cuts through anything and everything, I assume keeping it that way is not a problem. Also, if you've noticed, there's a small, hanging sphere of stone in the center there. Would you mind cutting it in half?
*Sadeas cuts it. Afterwards, Leo presses a button and the stone raises up and comes towards him.*
Leo: A remarkably clean cut... I can't feel *places under microscope* and the computer can't see any roughness here.
Elhokar: In non-living material, a Shardblade will make a perfectly smooth cut.
Leo: Fascinating... even with those serrations near the hilt?
Sadeas: Yes; along all six feet of it.
Leo: Thank you, Sadeas.
A: Marsh counters with *shows a Hemalurgic Spike on a black background* A Hemaurgic Spike! Exactly like what Marsh has in him, simply hitting with this spike gives him the ability to influence the target's actions with Allomancy.
*Leo, Saka, Serp, and Kelsier are near the entrance to teh arena. A Hemalurgic Spike is stuck in a live pig*
Kelsier: Sazed tells me that this *taps spike* is a Hemalurgic Spike; the same kind of spike that gives Marsh his powers. He says that this particular one stole Feruchemical Pewter.
Saka: Mind telling us why it's stuck in a pig, of all things?
Sazed: *walks in* It needs to be in a living being to keep its strongest charge. When it's removed, its power leaks out, little by little.
Leo: So the longer it's outside, the less reliable the one hit kill is?
Sazed: No. The longer it's out, the less power it can confer to the stabbed party, and the less easy it is for me, as Harmony, or Ruin before me, to communicate to or control the impaled party. The Allomantic control is still there.
Leo: If you wouldn't mind explaining how that works...
Sazed: I was under the impression you knew that already.
Leo: I do. So do Serp and Saka. Our viewers don't.
Sazed: Very well. An Allomancer can use emotional Allomancy - Zinc and Brass - to control someone with a Hemalurgic spike. It usually takes Duralumin, but one as powerful as Marsh has become can do it with a particularly strong flare.
Leo: Very well. Kelsier, take the spike out and step into the arena.
*Kelsier does so, Sazed, Saka, and Serp go to the balcony. Leo hangs back for a second*
Leo: And Kelsier - this man you're about to fight has done worse than the Nobles. Much worse.
*Leo joins the others*
Serp: *whispering* What did you say?
Leo: *whispering back* Just telling him what the man did; Kelsier is a lot less callous than Sadeas.
*The prisoner comes out on the other end, holing a knife. Kelsier quickly burns Iron and Pulls the knife out of his grip. He then rushes in with Pewter, and stabs the prisoner in the shoulder. He then burns Brass and Duralumin, and commands the prisoner to pick up the knife and kill himself. The prisoner does as commanded.*
Leo: Impressive. And all you have to do is make sure the spike stays in, right?
Sazed: Yes. It can also be Pushed Allomantically, but that requires a heavy ammount of Allomantic power - usually requiring an augment with Duralumin.
A: Now that they've seen the weapons, they must decide... who gets the edge!
* Leo, Serp, and Saka are in the balcony above the arena*
Leo: I've gotta go with Oathbringer here - it's got better reach, as well as a more sure kill.
Serp: Yep. It's six feet of DEATH. Also, the Spike may not penetrate the Shardplate.
Saka: And if it hits in the head, well, that's likely going to kill him anyway. I'm also going for Oathbringer.
A: *shows Dalinar holding Oathbringer* Edge: Dalinar!
Summary / TL;DR[]
A: Marsh *shows close-range test clips* got the edge in close range, since the Pewter enhancement was the bare minimum!
A: Marsh's *shows clips of Kelsier's mid-range test* Obsidian Axe got the edge for its superior speed and cutting capability!
A: For *shows Leo and Serp looking over Hoid's notes* special weapons, Hemalurgy got the edge, due to its versatility!
A: In the one-hit kill range, *shows Sadeas finishing the prisoner* Dalinar's Oathbringer gets the edge!
X-Factors[]
A: As important as the weapons to the evaluation is a set of five X-Factors, which will be discussed by Leo and Serp.
Leo: Let's start with Intimidation.
Serp: Marsh wins this one, easy.
Leo: Agreed. He's got motherf--king spikes though his eyes. And everywhere else. I'd give him a score of 95 for that.
Serp: Yeah, those spikes are f--king terrifying. Dalinar looks more impressive than intimidating.
Leo: The fact that he doesn't adorn his armor can swing either way - either saying he's not much of a threat, because he has no special markings, or that he's so badass that his badassery speaks for itself.
Serp: We know that hes badass. Marsh does not. That's why he's getting an 85 - he looks impressive enough to scare lesser enemies, especially if his armor is cracked, but otherwise... meh.
Leo: So... moving on to Bloodlust.
Serp: Well, Dalinar has that "Thirll" thingy. I think I'd give him a 90 for that.
Leo: Same. I'd go higher, but he seems to be losing it. Marsh, on the other hand, gets a 60. He is a vicious fighter, and does what he believes is necessary, but he doesn't appear to enjoy it by any means.
Serp: Agreed. Now for Willpower.
Leo: Marsh gets a 98 for that. He was able to resist Ruin's control - even with over 20 spikes in him.
Serp: Agreed on that point. Dalinar gets an 80 - from what we see, he isn't weak-willed by any means, though he was too easily deceived by both Szeth and Sadeas. So... Experience.
Leo: Marsh gets this; he's been alive for 300 years, has become the personification of death, and has likely learned how to fight against guns. I'm giving him a 97.
Serp: Yes, but Dalinar is also pretty experienced. I think he deserves a 95 - after all, his entire culture is based off of war, and he's been alive a long time in it. And finally... Discipline.
Leo: Dalinar should get an 89 for that.
Serp: Why not higher?
Leo: All of his discipline has been from after he read the Way of Kings - it's excellent afterwards, but looking at his whole life, it'll average out to an 89.
Serp: Marsh, I think, gets an 87.
Leo: Agreed. He is very disciplined, having been the leader of the Skaa Rebellion and later Ruin's right hand, but he operates largely on his own after Ruin's defeat.
Serp: Anything else?
Leo: Averages. Marsh averaged out to 87.4, while Dalinar averaged out to 87.8. So... I'd say too close to call, but with an advantage to Dalinar.
Battle[]
*Leo, Serp, and Saka are gathered around a computer*
Leo: Well, I've entered everything into the computer. Now we just have to go to the Arena.
Saka: Wait... what?
Leo: Follow me.
*Camera pans to show a dark tunnel. Angle changes to within it. As Leo, Serp, and Saka enter, Leo snaps and points offscreen. Ominous chanting begins.*
Serp: Dude... what the hell?
* They reach a door. Leo gestures, and the chanting stops. The door starts to slowly open, and Law of Solipsism starts playing.*
Serp: *laughing* If I know you at all, what's behind this is either the most underwhelming thing ever or the most awesome thing in the world.
Leo: It's both. *starts pacing impatiently while the door slowly opens*
*Door finally opens, and the music stops. The three step out onto a balcony. Leo presses a button, and the lights come on in what appears to be a plain stone arena.*
Saka: Looks like it's on the "underwhelming" side.
Leo: As we were walking down, and as that damn door was opening, the two AIs in the computer back there simulated 500,000 battles between each combatant, and tallied the winners. They then chose one of the battles where the wining side won, and fed it to this arena. What we're about to see is a pretty graphic hologram of that fight.
Serp: Yep. Most awesome thing ever.
* Leo presses another button, and the recording starts.*
(Note: script style takes a temporary break here)
Dalinar and Marsh both enter the Arena, exiting from opposite doors. Dalinar draws his warhammer, and looks at his opponent. He quickly takes another couple steps back, somewhat terrified of the spikes visage in front of him.
Marsh smiles and draws his axe, and rushes forward to fight. Dalinar recovers and gives a solid blow to Marsh's chest - on a normal man, it would be a kill, but Marsh is compounding gold. Marsh takes the opportunity to try a strike to Dalinar's chest, but it gets deflected by the Shardplate. The warriors disengage, and circle each other for a couple seconds.
Dalinar starts to feel the Thrill, the hereditarty bloodlust in his family.
He leads off the attack in the second clash, charging forward with his warhammer. He puts all his strength behind it, aiming to break the obsidian blade of Marsh's axe. Marsh burns iron and Pulls the warhammer, causing the head to slam into his chest rather than the axe. Still compounding gold, he doesn't suffer a scratch. He lashes out with his axe at Dalinar's unprotected head. Dalinar moves out of the way in time, and the axe leaves a gash in his helmet. He breaks off and tries again to break the axe, and succeeds in snapping the comparative4ly brittle obsidian head. Marsh, having noticed the glowing spheres in Dalinar's armor, tries to use the wood handle as a battering ram to break it.
Dalinar responds by grabbing the handle and crushing it in his gauntlet.
Marsh quickly Pulls the Warhammer out of Dalinar's grip, compounding iron to give his Pull some extra weight. As the Warhammer flies out of a startled Dalinar's hands, Marsh rushes in with his fists. Dalinar barely has the time to make the summoning gesture for his Shardblade and block with his free hand. He knows that he will win after ten heartbeats, when Oathbringer will materialize.
One.
Dalinar has taken several hits already on his Gauntlet, and some have gotten through on his Chestplate.
Two.
Marsh starts compounding pewter, steel, and bendalloy, giving him increased speed, strength, and energy.
Three.
Dalinar has managed to get a punch or two in, but they barely effected Marsh. Several punches have gone through, and his Shardplate is cracking on his arm. The adrenaline pounds through his veins harder then ever.
Four. Five. Six.
The plate on his arm appears to be turning liquid.
Seven. Eight.
The Shardplate on his arm breaks.
Nine.
Marsh draws a spike form his robe, and starts stabbing towards Dalinar's now unprotected arm.
Ten!
Oathbringer shines in Dalinar's hand, and he cuts the spike in half. He starts pushing Marsh back, keeping the blade moving constantly. Marsh, burning Atium, is just fast enough to evade Dalinar's strikes. In a sudden burst of inspiration, he stops Atium, and burns Duralumin and Zinc.
Dalinar is stopped in his tracks be the mental blow. Not only was the Thrill gone, no longer egging him on to fight, but all his emotions were just... gone. Marsh uses the opportunity to land a powerful roundhouse kick, and Dalinar is sent flying, and drops his Shardblade. He gets up, recovers, and starts summoning his Shardblade again while Marsh charges him.
One.
Marshi is getting closer. Dalinar aims a kick at him.
Two.
The kick connects, stalling Marsh.
Three.
Marsh sees the fallen warhammer and smiles.
Four.
Marsh Pulls himself towards the warhammer.
Five. Six. Seven.
Marsh reaches the warhammer, and Dalinar starts to run towards him.
Eight.
Marsh karate chops the warhammer's head off, while Dalinar charges at him.
Nine.
Marsh holds the warhammer's head at chest level.
Ten.
Oathbringer springs into Dalinar's hands.
Marsh Pushes the the Warhammer's head towards Dalinar, burning steel and compounding iron. Dalinar blocks with Oathbringer, but the chunks of the head keep flying at him. Thanks to his enhanced weight, the two pieces of weighted metal push Dalinar into the wall, impacting with enough force to break the Shardplate on Dalinar's chest and impaling him , holing him to the wall. Marsh walks up, and takes out a spare spike - one without a Hemalurgic charge. He stabs Dalinar in the heart with it, and removes it. After examining it confusedly, he walks away, leaving a bloody, broken body behind him.
Expert's Opinion[]
(script style resumes) *Leo faces the camera* Leo: Well, Marsh won. I think it was due almost entirely to his Hemalurgy. Both warriors had one weapon that was overwhelmingly powerful. Oathbringer for Dalinar and Hemalurgy for Marsh. Hemalurgy just gave him more combat advantages than Oathbringer did for Dalinar. Save those, they are very evenly matched.